The CBUB Character Database

ISSUE #144

Kerrigan vs. Diablo

ISSUE #95

Green Arrow vs. Hawkeye

ISSUE #132

The Punisher vs. France

ISSUE #142

Spiderman vs. Wolverine

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Wonder Woman vs. She-Hulk

ISSUE #168

Shazam vs. Black Bolt

ISSUE #23

Jawas vs. Ewoks

ISSUE #109

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Black Widow and Silver Sable

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!

ISSUE #82

Gambit vs. Catwoman vs. Black Cat

ISSUE #34

Justice League vs. X-Men

ISSUE #64

Borg Cube vs. Death Star

ISSUE #115

Robin v. Robin v. Robin v. Robin

ISSUE #90

Supergirl vs. A-ko vs. Ryoko

ISSUE #117

Kraven vs. Pokemon Island

ISSUE #94

Iron Man vs. Steel

ISSUE #72

Shaggy vs. Dagwood vs. Jughead

ISSUE #154

Xena vs. Buffy

ISSUE #126

Q vs. Mr. Mxyzptkl

ISSUE #47

Mario vs. Sonic

ISSUE #103

Cthulhu vs. Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate

ISSUE #169

Galactus vs. Galactus' Weight in Krypto the Super Dogs

ISSUE #158

Bond Girl Blowout

ISSUE #49

Bugs Bunny vs. Mickey Mouse

ISSUE #137

The Predator vs. The Road Runner

ISSUE #125

Great Pumpkin vs. Jack Skellington

ISSUE #38

Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones

ISSUE #33

Mach 5 vs. Batmobile

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Martial Mayhem - Round Three!

ISSUE #150

Matrix vs. Crouching Tiger

ISSUE #92

Leisure Suit Larry vs. Austin Powers

ISSUE #80

Scooby Doo Gang vs. Hellraiser

ISSUE #30

Amityville House vs. Overlook Hotel

ISSUE #26

Catwoman vs. Bat Girl

ISSUE #28

Boba Fett vs. Batman

ISSUE #43

Defiant vs. White Star

ISSUE #170

Jason Voorhees vs. Ash Williams

ISSUE #65

Ken & Ryu vs. Scorpion & Sub-Zero

ISSUE #61

Robotech Defense Force vs. The Decepticons

ISSUE #141

Braveheart vs. Maximus

Apokalypse Wow

[ Away Team ] [ PotA ]

Thanos vs. Darkseid

THE SCENARIO

 

Their names strike fear in the hearts of the mightiest heroes. Their exploits are legend. Their powers are unfathomable. Their battle will shake the cosmos. They are�

Darkseid, Lord of Apokolips. An evil and cunning god who plans to become the undisputed ruler of all life in the universe.

Thanos, the Mad Titan. A ruthless and brilliant Eternal who will stop at nothing to earn the love of Death itself, even if it means genocide on a universal scale.

After countless requests, Khazan Arena will finally play host to the definitive duke-out between these fearsome cosmic rivals. Two tyrants will enter, only one will leave.

'Nuff Said! Join us now in a battle we had to call...

Armageddon... WOW!

THE SPORTS BOX

Bat:   Greetings and Salutations from the legendary Khazan Arena. Coming at you LIVE, I am Vengeance, I am the Night, IAm...Batman! And tonight I'm pleased to co-host this long-awaited battle, the likes of which this arena has not seen in a long while. Now let's go over to my partner in crimefighting, the Mighty Tick.

Tick:   Yes, hello Bats and greetings citizens. Our two opponents are sizing each other up in a face-off. Darkseid is on his hover platform hands behind his back. Thanos is on his space throne with arms crossed. The use of such vehicles is clearly a violation of the rules, but scanners don't pick up a referee for miles.

Bat:   It's a pity that Judge Cally is still out of commission. While we await the starting bell, let me say that it is really is an honor for us to be bringing you folks this fine match. If you're wondering how we managed it, it seems that Justicar and DamieN were originally scheduled to host, but their fight contract was canceled when that vile Justy snuck a hidden camera in Harley Quinn's dressing room. Isn't that despicable, Tick?

Tick:   Hmm... deli... I mean despicable. However I do recall this DamieN guy trying to slip something into Callisto's drink. Is he still in Low Earth Orbit?

Bat:   Ya'know, Ticky, it's not very heroic to spread such vicious, unfounded rumors about law-abiding Khazanian citizens! Speaking of which, let's check the mailbag and see what the good people are saying about this fight.

 

YOUR OPINIONS

jellyrobes writes:

I hate to say it, but Thanos is Darkseid done right. DC sucks the superiority out of Darkseid when they have him job for so many lame characters to look good. He should become an actual threat again!! ah, well. it least i have thanos comics to remind me of what Darkseid was originally supposed to be. RIP, jack Kirby, i hope you're not turning in your grave for what they've done to Darkseid in Our Worlds at War...


The A.C.E. writes:

On Darkseid's Palace.

With a shimmering sound, Thanos stands before Darkseid who was currently surveying Apokolips on one of it's windows in the palace's hall.

Thanos: "I have come to bring this miserable planet to it's greatest glory & enslave the entire DCU to my will... following with your death."

Darkseid: "Do not try my patience, interloper."

Thanos: "Then embrace death! (Thanos fires some cosmic blasts from his hands)

(only a smoulder remains)

Thanos: "Ha-ha-ha-ha! I am the true purple puss! Today Apokolips, tomorrow the DCU."

(suddenly, Thanos hears a voice)

Darkseid: "I am not a patient man, begone & may the SOURCE be with you!" (The Omega Effect fires from his eyes hitting Thanos)

Thanos... M.I.A. As to to the smouldring remains... that was Darksied's Parademon w/ a holo-projector (I don't like clones).


The Dweller writes:

This match is a very intersting event. On one side you have a titan, a mad titan and on the other hand you have a evil god. Do you get the picture? Well I'll lay it out for you, a God VS a Titan! Gods and Titans have fought against each other for eons in greek and other mythologies. this fight will be another symbol for that effect. My vote is for Thanos because he has shown more power and destruction while Darkseid has only his Omega Beams. And if you remember a certain comic book where Darkseid tried too use his Omega Beams on Galactus and Galactus just laugh them off and Galactus then blasted Darkseid across Apocalyspe for his efforts. The same thing will happen When Darkseid fights Thanos. And in the end Darkseid will finally have found his anti-life equation in Thanos!

THANOS WILL DANCE ON DARKSEID'S GRAVE!


Borneo Jimmy writes:

Although I've always liked Thanos as a character --- he's in love with Death, but she ignores his every gesture; he attains power time after time, but always loses --- he is, at bottom, an imitation of Darkseid, and he never attained the intangible...Kirbyness which imbues Darkseid entirely (the REAL Darkseid, not the Super Friends Darkseid). Kirby's Fourth World is epic, original, and WEIRD, whereas Marvel's various chronicles of Thanos are just more cosmic superhero comics.

From a strictly who-kicks-whose-ass point of view, I can only observe that without the Cosmic Cube or the Infinity Gauntlet, Thanos isn't all that powerful. Darkseid is. Plus he's got a "Mother Box" and Boom Tubes and a never-ending supply of grotesque minions most of whom are gods themselves.

And the point about Thanos always finding a way to lose is valid; the closest thing Darkseid has to a weakness is his glimmer of love for his son Orion, which he never had a problem overcoming. He WANTS to rule everything, whereas all Thanos wants is some attention from a chick in a purple robe, named Death. Well, she'll be paying him some attention soon enough...When she carries off his soul.


KiZeR writes:

My vote is with Thanos. Darkseid has been beaten before by many DC heroes, but the only thing to ever defeat Thanos is his own subconscious. Thanos will obliterate Darkseid, then his subconscious will bring him back into existance, and then Thanos will kill him again!


Alex Brown writes:

thaos will lose beacuse he lost to a oser like ka zar a tarzan clone. and thano has no defence against the omega beam of darksied and will erase thanos from history, and thanos is nothing but a darkseid clone. Darkseid was created by the king of comics jack kirby so he has to win


Doom writes:

No way does the Dark Titan fail to win this one.

Darksied fails to kill Superman. Darksied couldn't even kill Anarky (a 16 year old kid with Triple Layerd Kevlar) who later stole his powers.

Thanos smacks around Marvel's best and steals god like power. All Darksied does nothing but stand around with both hands behind his back.

Plus Thanos stared in the way cool Marvel Super Hero Capcom game.

THANOS REIGNS!!!

(Just below Dr. Doom of course.)


Stretch Dude writes:

This is a very, VERY tough call, but I say that Darkseid wins, for two reasons:

1. Thanos' biggest flaw is his ability to subconsciously cause himself to lose.

2. Even when Darkseid loses, he wins. (Anyone NOT remember the Superman episode "Apokolips...Now!"?)


Tuff writes:

Dude, this is BS. Thanos has handled the likes Of The Silver Surfer, Thor, Thing, has shown he can hang with a being named Tyrant, a guy who is near Galactus league. Thanos was taking blasts from that guy - and giving it right back. He held his own against ODIN of all people - a being who has shaken the GALAXY with his power - and got up for more. He took a hit from Magnus when he had 5 of the infinity gems, and was nearly god. In fact, the only person in his entire existacne to truly defeat him, is Thor. Thor, who he has also layed low, and it was even hinted he didn't give his all in that fight.

Darkseid was laid out in 2 blows from Doonsday. Wolverine could have taken what Doomsday dished out to him. For real. He blased the Surfer with his overhyped "omega beams" and he was right back up. Orion kicked his ass quite convincingly, Superman recently dropped hamemrs down on him, and his beams couldn't even get thru kevlar if I remember correctly.

Thanos controls his body on a molecular level, is a better figher than Darkseid, more durable, and in a fight - Thanos would crush him.

I'd really like to see someone argue on Darkseid's behalf. Because everyoen who does, does it from a biased standpoint, and can't counter most of what I just laid out.


zoltarak writes:

Well, i just wanna say this is a great fight. Kudos to all who suggested it. anyway, i was going to vote for Thanos simply because he was the Marvel character. But then, i remembered Darkseid's fight against apocolypse and decided to vote for him. However, I have a feeling Thanos will win in the end because of the Fanboy Factor.

'Nuff said!


Iron Lantern writes:

Hmm. Definitely a close one. Since this is a clash between immortals, a battle this evenly matched would probably last for years, if not eons. But if I were a gambling man (which I'm not), my money would be on Thanos of Titan.

Let's look at the matchups:

Intelligence: Darkseid is one of the most brilliant schemers in the DCU. Doesn't matter. Thanos has outwitted the Magus twice, beaten the Grandmaster on his home turf, and tricked Mephisto at least once. If this battle is one of long-term strategy, Darkseid loses.

Power: While Darkseid is arguably more powerful (especially if we're using the King's Darkseid), the power difference isn't all that significant. The Omega Effect will not be a factor, since Thanos is simply too powerful. If all they're doing is tossing around energy bolts, Darkseid has the advantage, but that's not how the battle will go.

Fighting Skills: Darkseid is a skilled warrior (he has to be to take on Orion in single combat), but Thanos overtakes him here. Thanos personally trained Gamora, who is at least one of the top five martial artists in the Marvel Universe. Thanos has at least held his own with the finest warriors of Asgard. If Thanos turns this into a hand-to-hand fight, Darkseid will be fighting at a heavy disadvantage.

Speed: Darkseid can cope with Flash-level speeds, but Thanos has repeatedly slaughtered the Silver Surfer in open combat. Too close to call.

Endurance: Thanos has fought *Odin*. In *Asgard*. And held him almost to a standstill. Name me one occasion where Darkseid has even matched this. Keep in mind also that Thanos cannot die, because Death banned him from her realm. Darkseid is going to have real problems keeping Thanos down.

Crossovers: Yes, Thanos was in the god-awful "Infinity Crusade". But at least he had enough sense not to show his craggy face in "Genesis", "Rock of Ages", and the colossally idiotic "Our Worlds at Bore" fiasco.

Conclusion: Thanos spanks Darkseid like Bill Jemas on a hot date with Elektra.


The Dark Maven writes:

Tough call. I believe this battle already happened once, though. After careful consideration, however, I go with Darksied, 'cause Adam West said so!


Dizzy D writes:

Thanos will win: he always loses when he attains his goal for universal domination, because he subconciously knows he is unworthy of universal domination. In a one-on-one fight he will always win. Darkseid's omega effect is powerful, but Thanos has shown the ability to defeat opponents that greatly outclass him with brains, technology and power. Apocalypse lost from Darkseid, yes, but Apocalypse is a few classes lower than Thanos. The X-men have to band together to defeat Apocalypse. The whole Marvel Universe bands together to get their ass kicked by Thanos


Austin writes:

Oh come on. Thanos is like Darkseid lite. His name isn't as clever. His wardrobe is ridiculous. For that matter, he just won't shut-up about how godawlful mighty and bad he is, despite regularly recieving a beating from the universe at large.

Darkseid, meanwhile, raises and eyebrow and sets worlds trembling. If Thanos said, "I will destroy you" (And, believe me, he would say it in far more words than that), I think the common response would be, "Yeah right." Darkseid can give you a look and make you realize he's going to squash you like an insect.

End result. Thanos yells about how bad he is for two straight hours. Then Darkseid looks at him, and Thanos goes back to painting Darkseid's house.


Ghost writes:

I chose Thanos because he is a better dresser and has a cooler name, and that's all he needs to win. Besides, the Mighty Tick is never wrong! (though I miss the two babes, Cally and Clown Girl) Darkseid's butt will be liberally kicked in good measure, cause Ghost said so!


THE HOT ONE writes:

THANOS iS WINNNING? ????SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET OFF THE CRACK PIPE!!!!!LOOK ZOMBIES ,I will agree with YOU on the CAP/BATS FIGHT or THE YJ/X WHATEVER FIGHT (both teams are crappy knockoffs with bad writers)but THANOS is a LOSER .HELL,HE can't win if he had the infinty rings , G.L.RING,AND a cosmic cube.LOSER.


Everquest Sucks writes:

How can some 1 dimensional character like Dorkside be in the Lead, over a complicated multi facited character like Thanos?

Thanos=once in love with death has started wars with the heros for many other reasons such as Power revenge against his family and many times evan for a challenge.

Darkside= Ugh im just evil

Thanos 4D Darkside 1D


gumbo writes:

So on one side we have a guy known for ultimately screwing himself over in every plan he has ever had, or for the instant stupidity that grips any one that could possibly give him a challenge in any situation. His greatest plan came about when he looked in a well of infinate knowledge that told him where to get the IG.

On the other side we have a guy known for doing fairly well if ultimately never truly claiming the victory.

They both rule their own worlds, they both have spaceships. They have their own seperate kind of armadas. They both have plans to do really (bad) things to people for pretty crappy reasons. Except that the majority of the time Thanos seems happy to work with a few cohorts and ignores the use of his other sources.

The "fight" basically goes like this. Thanos shows up with the Superskrull and say mangong and his other secret defenders cronies.

Darkseid shows up with his planet full of gods, parademons with weapons that can hurt superman. His armada, and a few other people he just happen to decide to bring along.

Of course if this is a mano-e-mano kind of fight. Expect both sides to jury rig the voting and booby trap the arena to their advantage. Thanos will have the disadvantage of not having a opponents mind liquified, powers weakened, and actually having a clue what he is doing. Darkseid will have the disadvantage of actually letting Thanos attack first since he enjoys standing around and looking at $h&*^% all the time!

It could go either way, so I say Darkseid.


Spaceballs writes:

I picked Thanos.

Thanos won't lose from his subconscious. Thanos only loses subconsciously when he just kicked the hell outta everyone earlier and got bored. When Thanos fights for good or as a test, his complex doesn't affect him. And even though he has a complex, Darkseid has a bigger complex. It's the I-have-a-kickass-power-but-why-can't-I-kill-dumber-and-weaker-opponents-like-Superman-complex. Thanos has beaten and could kill, easily, the best guys in the Marvel U. (like Silver Surfer) with his bare hands. And Thanos can't die anyway. He probably can't get obliterated either cuz of that Living Tribunal ruling involving the Infinity Gems. Besides, the Omega Beams are Darkseid's greatest strength whereas Thanos' greatest strength is his brain and that just sounds cooler than some stupid gimmick that writers have to work around lest they don't want their characters to die. In the end, although Darkseid is a pretty smart cookie himself, Thanos will just out-think him.


Moonrazor writes:

I can't think of a more evenly matched fight in all the DC/Marvel universes. However, after long and careful consideration, I am going to give this one to Darkseid, for a number of reasons.

First, Darkseid seems to have a slight edge on power. I know Thanos can shoot blasts and is technologically advanced, invulnerable, super strong and all that other kind of stuff. This was even before he had his powers enhanced by Death.

Darkseid, on the other hand, is invulnerable, super strong, technologically advanced, and so on too. The difference is that Darkseid's blasts, known as the Omega Effect, are among the most dreaded in the entire DC universe, capable of destroying such creatures as the Cyborg and Kalibak with one shot, hurting Doomsday and even injuring the Silver Surfer in the Darkseid/Galactus crossover. In the three shot Superman/Doomsday series where Doomsday makes it to Apokolips, Superman is unable to even dent some missles fired off by the Cyborg, either with his strength or heat vision. Out of nowhere the Omega beams come and turn the missles to so much dust.

Darkseid does control a planet of highly advanced and dangerous soldiers, but Thanos has a habit of wiping out underlings, so I can't give Darkseid any credit for that.

For those who point out that Thanos has attained ultimate power (The Cosmic Cube, the Infinity Gems,) I would remind them that Thanos also loses these poorly-conceived plot devices. In particular, the Infinity Gems and Infinity Gauntlet were bad stories, written in the days when every summer Marvel felt they had to come up with a more cosmic threat than the last one.

Getting back to the fight, Darkseid is also a lot more interesting than Thanos. Thanos is a nihilist, and though he is smart, he really is nothing more than a suped-up killer who wants to kill everyone to prove his devotion to Death. Thanos has worked with other heroes in the Marvel universe before, but that quite frankly doesn't make any sense. Someone who wants to kill everything wouldn't team up with somebody else.

Darkseid wants to rule the universe, and is extremely machiavellian in his methods, and will try anything. Darkseid teams up with heroes, but it is out of enlightened self-interest: As soon as the threat to him or his realm is over, he goes back to his despotic plans. Incidentally, Darkseid does not seem to want to kill everyone as part of his plans to rule the universe. I think that if everyone accepted his rule, then he would leave them alone.

The final reason why Darkseid should beat Thanos is the cool factor. Thanos was a cheap rip-off of Darkseid, but more importantly, Darkseid was created by the unparalled, legendary Jack Kirby. I don't know who created Thanos, but the King's work is the best.

I see by the voting tally that Thanos is winning, probably because people think it's cool that he's in love with Death. Big deal. Darkseid is cleverer, more powerful personally and overall a much more interesting character. So give it to the guy who scares Superman, and go with Darkseid.


Cruton the Breadyboy writes:

Yeah, didn't you guys try to have Darkseid in a fight once? I vaguely recall that you did....I mean, sorta....Darkseid was there...no opponent...Yeah, not much of a fight.

Still, I believe Darkseid has bitten off more than he can chew here. Now, let's just put away the whole "but he was single-handed beaten by this one hero once" crap that I know is going to start flowing. Both of these titans have had their moments in the realm of the badly written. Most recently, Thanos was beaten under by Odin-powered Thor, whilst Darkseid, on the WB animated series, got a nice spankfest courtasy of a P.O.'ed Superman. And these are, again, the most recent examples. It's not easy to be an impossibly powerful would-be galaxy waster when the people who write you are switched every two years and have deadlines to meet....

Oh, yeah, the fight! Well, we basically have two godlike beings squaring off here. However, if you notice, every time Thanos shows up, he has some magical jim-jammy thinga-ma-jig that makes even God Kings require a change of diapers. Darkseid, however, just has his planet's worth of minions and his own mind-blowing abilities, just the bare basics.

So....Darkseid shows up with armada. Thanos shows up with magical jim-jam. Apokolypse armies go out like putties in the first PR season. This leaves Darkseid to face the power of the jim-jam alone, learning too late that jim-jams are too contrived to be hurt by something as minor as omega beams.

And if the Apokolypse army somehow proves to be able to hold Mister Mad Titan, I doubt Thanos is above getting The Mighty Mangog to run in with a folding steel chair the minute things go south. He did it last time.

So, there's my vote......Yeah, yeah, that all made sense. Why are you looking at me sidewise? Stop that. Stop it!


Slayer96 writes:

No matter what, Thanos always subconsciously supplies the tools for his own defeat. In the original Thanos conquest (Captain Marvel #25-33, if you can find it!), he discarded the Cosmic Cube, allowing CM to use it against him. In The Infinity Gauntlet, Thanos allowed Warlock control of the Gauntlet. The list goes on. In short, Thanos is unable to deal with ruling the universe, and this inferiority complex gives Darkseid the advantage, even if Thanos is more powerful.


Draco 302 writes:

I beleived Thanos would beat the living hell out of Darkseid, and I can give you 7 reason why Thanos would win.

1. He has the power of COSMIC and is able to increase his strengh and Durability, also able to shoot powerful force of COSMIC energy thats been known to knock the Thing,Thor and even the Silver Surfer out Easily.

2.He has been living for thousands of years of Combat,arcane,Technology and Master of tactics experience

3He has Destroyed half of life in the Marvel Universe and had a power of a God and no Super Heroe was able to hurt or destroy him.

4.He can never die, because Death Banned him to ever enter her realm and is able to come back, even if he was destroyed, he can reform himself in minutes.

5.He has and I think he still has a vast fleet of alien pirates,including his own ship that has the capilibilty to destroy a planets surface.


Astro writes:

Both opponents have incredible abilities but in the end it will have to go to Darkseid. I would say that on strength and invulnerability and they are both evenly matched and they are strategests without compare in there respective universes. If anyone could outthink Darkseid it would be Thanos and vice versa but the real tie breaker was there energy attacks. Thanos has a formidable energy projecting abilities but the omega force is one of the supreme forces in the DC universe. The energy originates from the source AKA God itself. The flexibility that Darkseid has with the Omega Beams is just greater then what thanos can do with his cosmic energy. They can both shoot concussive force blasts and "disintegrating Beams" but Darkseid could simply capsulize Thanos before he had the chance to start the fight or teleport him to the phantom zone or back to the stone age before Thanos could power up. Although Thanos has been banished from deaths realm Dark has a lot more possibilities then just Destroy where as Thanos doesn't. Also Darkseid controls and entire planet! He has millions of parademons and hunger dogs who consider him their god and are willing to die for him. Thanos controls a few mercinaries that wouldn't give up their life for anybody. And the final factor in this battle is that Darkseid has already one against Thanos in the wizard battle between Darkseid and Thanos.

THE BATTLE

Tick:   Oh my brains are hurting from all the highbrow and logical discourse. It's evenly divided on who should take this bout. The fans are settling in as they count down with the giant Khazan-O-Vision display 3... 2... 1...

(Massive Energy Eyebeams)   **ZZAAAPP**

Tick:   Their powerful eyebeams are locked. Neither has the advantage as the beams clash. Both icons of evil are confidently moving towards the other.

Bat:   Whoa, now they're really kicking it up a notch on those eye beams, but neither side has the edge. And they're charging full speed! They're going to crash right into each other about n....

(MASSIVE EXPLOSION):   *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Tick:   That's why mother said never play with massive energy eyebeams!

Bat:   Holy Cosmic Collisions Batmerrme! I didn't think anything could rock the God Proof Sports Box (tm) like that! There's even cracks in the newly installed safety glass that shields the crowd. It looks like many of our fans here aren't going to wait around to see who survived, they're rushing for the exits.

Tick:   The citizens need more fortitude! While we wait for the smoke to clear, here on the satellite feed is someone who can hopefully shed some light on Darkseid's Omega whatever thing. People are really arguing about that point.

Dexter:   Well yes... I have been working on that equation for some time now. I have calculated whether or not The Omega Effect will kill Thanos. My my it's funny were my old spare junk ends up. Anyway (prattles on in Science Talk)...

Tick:   Zzzz..... alarm clock sounds as Dexter gets to his point.

Dexter: &sbsp; It is clear that Thanos can withstand a force equal to 0.8712333333 DeeDees. Darkseid may be able to generate 0.8712333334 DeeDees destructive force capability... if he really tries. So there you have it.

Tick:   Umm... ah... yes. I see. (*Blink* *Blink*) Were back...ooh... shiny floor! Hey the arena floor is all glass now. Neat! Too bad only 4 valiant citizens are here to watch the rest of the battle.

Bat:   All I can see of them is dark hoods. Hey, There's a boom tube opening on the other side of the arena, and out steps Darkseid! Has Thanos been felled by a decoy? Diabolical!

Tick:   No... no... Diabolical just fought two battles ago.

(spatial teleportation event):   *Bamf*

Tick:   Evil fiend! Thanos just used Nightcrawler's teleportation effect. Look at that smug grin on him.

Bat:   Is that smugness or madness? Uh oh, here comes the pre-fight verbal exchange.

Thanos:   How pleased I am, old rival, to see that the 100 Megaton nuclear device installed on my android duplicate did not smite you. I would prefer to witness your demise first-hand.

Darkseid:   You dare to mock me!? It is only natural that I yet live, for your childish ploy succeeded only in destroying my godly avatar. It was but a pale imitation of my true self, much like you are. Now, prepare to feel the cold embrace of oblivion.

Thanos:   Watch your tongue, you impudent fool. For you have already stepped into a peril that is beyond your scope.

Darkseid:   Let us see about that.

Tick:   Darkseid is glancing towards the stands. My, he wouldn't be giving his fans a pre-planned signal to do the wave? Such loyal fans! They are standing up and getting into the action!

Bat:   They must have more than the wave on their minds, because they just crashed through the safety glass and onto the floor! If only the arena security hadn't fled the earlier explosion. Looks like those goons are about to cast off the hoods

Bat:   Hey those aren't lucky fans. It's Kalibak and the Female Furies! They are going to paste Thanos from behind, such dishonorable tactics.

Bat:   Yet Thanos is just standing there and whoa, the whole arena just started to shake like one of those cheap motel beds that eat quarters. Darkseid's cohorts have stopped dead in their tracks, they're looking at the floor. Do you suppose something could be under there?

Tick:   HOLY GODS OF ASGARD BATMAN!! It's Mangog bursting forth from the ground. He looks meaner and nastier than Callisto on the rag!!

Bat:   He's slamming them against the wall! I bet Quinn knows what that feels like. Oops, the wall crumbled against the impact, the lackeys broke through and are taking their brawl tumbling out of site.

Darkseid:   "I figured that you would have some minor trick to expose so I prepared accordingly. Pawns are meant to be pushed, after all."

Tick:   Thanos responds to that simply by pointing to the sky.

Bat:   With my trusty Bat Binoculars, I can see some sort of vessel in the skies above Khazan. it looks like, The Sanctuary II, Thanos' enormous personal flagship.

Tick:   (Holding mouse in hand)... Computer, give me a scanner reading on that ship. Heh, I know computers.

Computer- (voiced by Majel Barret)   All armaments powering up to maximum capacity. Target lock on the position of Darkseid, preparing to fire.

Bat:   Wait, I can see boom tubes opening all around Sanctuary II! There's thousands of parademons pouring out, swarming the enemy ship.

Tick:   Sweet Justice! look at this monitor. Thanos' robotic drones are combating the parademons as they board the ship. It's like a massive Pirates of Penzance up there.

Bat:   Is that anything like Pirates of the Caribbean?

Thanos:   Again Darkseid you show how truly pathetic you are. You attack my ship when the real threat is standing before you. At least Death will not lack for slaves as you send your pitiful troops to her.

Bat:   Bat: Both fighters have got game faces on now. Firey bolts crackle from Darkseid's eyes, Thanos' body is sheathed by protective energy.

Tick:   It appears that Thanos is nigh invulnerable. Those beams barely shaved his 5 O'clock shadow. Darkseid seems a bit peeved by this lack of effect, but he keeps intensifying the attack.

Bat:   Thanos clenches his teeth, fist tightening, he's gathering a reserve of cosmic energy, he knows he must counterattack soon.

Tick:   Darkseid directs his beams away from Thanos and hits a support column.

Khazan Arena   **CRAAAAAAAAASH!!!** (portion of the upper arena comes crashing down)

Tick:   Darn shoddy public works project! I can't see Thanos now!

Bat:   He's clearing the rubble away with a wide disruption blast from his eyes. Darkseid is hit by the blast, but he stands firm .

Tick:   Ahh... that DS, always the athlete shrugs off the hit. He's charging madly, faster than a speeding bullet, directly at Thanos...

Bat:   ...and Seid comes in swinging a mean left hook, but no, Thanos ducks it...

Tick:   Pow! Thanos nailed Darkseid with a thundering uppercut. He must have knocked him back a good 50 feet. Heh... Its a good thing these guys are only fighting each other.

Bat:   Thanos pounces now, he catches Darkseid off-guard and puts him in a modified full nelson!

Tick:   Darkseid is trying to break free but Thanos is having none of that! Thanos is trying to make souvenirs out of Darkseid's arms.

Bat:   This looks bad for Darkseid, but the Sports Box Bat Computer indicates that he's begun a telepathic assault. He might even be trying to tap into some hidden stores of the Anti-Life Equation to clinch it. Whatever's happening, Thanos is clearly straining with all his will to hold on...

Tick:   That mental warfare was just enough. Darkseid has broken free.

Bat:   Darkseid spins around to face his foe eye ot eye. Nobody's smiling anymore, you can almost feel the Rage (TM, WWWF) radiating from the fighters.

Thanos:   Death has a dignity all it's own, a dignity you'll not be granted as my own Power Cosmic strikes you down! MAKE YOUR PEACE, GODLING!

Darkseid:   Insolent Titan, You cannot possibly survive the full fury of the Omega Beams! I WILL END YOU!

Tick:   SWEET MOTHER OF GLORY, LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS... THIS IS IT!!!

Bat:   the Omega Beams hit the markThanos is gone, disintegrated!

Tick:   But egad... some kind of transmutation bolt from Thanos' hand struck ol' DS... He's a *purple statue* now. He's gonna feel that in the morning.

 

THE FINAL VOTE

 

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Darkseid: 1811

Thanos: 1800

 

THE WRAP UP

 

Tick:   What a battle! I feel the yearning to crusade for Justice now that I see what the forces of evil have in store. This is Jus... I mean... THE TICK... signing off for Da... err... Die Fladermaus. Special thanks to Dex... yeah Dexter. Good night citizens.

Bat:   Dude, I just found a Bat-bong in this utility belt...


Related CBUB Fights:
Issue #70 Apocalypse vs. Darkseid
Issue #85 Superman vs. Thor
Issue #51 Lex Luthor vs. Dr. Doom
Issue #62 Thundarr vs. Conan vs. Beastmaster


Disclaimer:

"The Tick" is the property of (?).

"The Bat" is the property of DC comics.

Darkseid (TM) is the property (c) of DC Comics

Thanos (TM) is the property (c) of Marvel Comics

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.