THE SCENARIO

Aquaman: Born Orin to Queen Atlanna, raised by dolphins and then by a lighthouse keeper named Arthur Curry, Aquaman had an unusual childhood. He swims with great speed, communicates and controls sea life, and has a snazzy hook weapon where his hand used to be. Oh, and he claims to be the ruler of Atlantis.

The Sub-Mariner: Enter the half-breed named Namor. His mother was Princess Fen of Atlantis and his father a surface dwelling sea captain. He also swims at great speeds, is superstrong and can fly. And... he claims to be the ruler of Atlantis.

Renraw Snibor, a rival undersea city, has been attacked by aliens with the help of Black Manta and Tigershark. The beautiful undersea Princess Ariel is taken hostage and guarded in the undersea caves of Terrag, a mutant terror with evil powers. Should the princess be saved, Renraw Snibor will owe Atlantis a blood debt, and they shall become allies for the first time in history.

The people of Atlantis turn to their two bickering, would-be leaders and let it be known that the one who returns with the princess will be crowned ruler of the people.

It's a royal rumble we had to call:

This fight presented by special CBUB Guest Hosts Ferret and Slug

THE SPORTS BOX

FERRET:  It's wet down here. Damn wet. Slug, why didn't you tell me it would be so wet. This isn't in my contract. Where the heck's my agent.

SLUG:  I don't know, actually. But, we're here to cover the battle between Aquaman and the Sub-Mariner, so, Du-uh, it's wet! The race is on to see which would-be King of Atlantis can rescue Princess Ariel from the space aliens in the caves of Terrag the Ugly!

FERRET:  You're right about the ugly part. That Terrag dude is nasty looking. But then again, everything is uglier under water. And wetter. I hate this place.

SLUG:  Quit whining, ya big wuss! Prince Namor and Orin are conversing calmly at this moment. Wait a minute, I'm receiving a telepathic message from Orin, himself! Apparently, Aquaman and The Sub-Mariner have agreed, for the good of their beloved Atlantis, to put their differences aside and rescue the Princess, together!

FERRET:  The wimps! What's with the teamwork stuff? I want a battle and I want it now! Where are Spawn and Crow when you need them? If I have to get wet, I at least want a good fight. Have I mentioned that I hate being wet? It sucks. How about a few fan comments while I try to dry off?

YOUR OPINIONS

Slug and Ferret writes:

Wow, you used our selection! We can't believe it! We're so... Oh, yeah, that's right... We got to pick it, didn't we? Hey it pays to have connections, what can we say? Go, Namor!

sinsecticide writes:

Awww yeah goin back to the old school Namor will rock the wussy aqua-dork all the way back to his tuna fish can...Submariner can fly, awkward-man can't... and Namor has superstrength. Aquaman cant stop some wussy from tearing his hand off... NAMOR WINS CAUSE HE KICKS ARSE

Calanthe writes:

I gotta give the nod to Aquaman, though Marine Boy would kick 'em both down, he's got Oxygen, Jetboots & a Mermaid for a friend, advantages that only Aqua & Sub have are gills & the home ground advantage of Atlantis or somewhere else under the sea

Jeff"T-REX"Hayes writes:

Well it's like this Aquaman is the original underwater hero. Forget about The Sub-Mariner The Man From Atlantis and all the rest of those Aquaman wannabes. Ole Aquaman will do like Stone Cold Steve Austin and open up a can of ass whup on all of them and still have time to join Nathan Bridger in a poker game!!!!! NUFF SAID MAN NUFF SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

warrl writes:

this is not an original idea. these two have fought each other before and the best man did win. aqua man might not be as strong as sub-mariner but he is far and away the better fighter. sub-mariner is in big trouble here.

Polar 8 writes:

I voted for Aquaman because he has that sharp javelin thing, and I am not voting for anyone in a speedo.

The Southern Fist writes:

Bastards on the throne do not last long, they never have and they never will. Namor can fly. Big deal. His flight away from battle would be the most likely outcome of this situation. If namor ever comes within reach of aquaman he will be harpooned on that hand of his and grilled like a swordfish steak. Besides, aquaman has the Justice League on his side, who does Namor have? He has no affiliation. Prediction... aquaman in a few hours after Namor is tired of flying away and is too tired to move. what a pansy.

Pat writes:

Namor should, on the basis of strength, mobility (them tiny little wings), durability and skill (been fighting far longer than current Aquaman) flatten the uppity little pretender to the throne. Imperious Rex!

Sailor Xena writes:

Aquaman or Namor, Aquaman or Namor, Aquaman or Namor; boy, this is tough. Since I assume this will take place in the water (place "Little Mermaid"s "Under the Sea" here) Namor's ability to fly will be useless. Both are super strong when in salt water. But Aquaman can summon aquatic life to aid him and the Sub-Mariner can not. So in the end Aquaman will be the one and only ruler of Atlantis.

Hitler writes:

I saw sub-mariner all my live and I say he's a good chap. Too bad, he didn't join my Nazis army.

Mark the Mad writes:

No contest. Aquaman's beaten Namor before. To paraphrase Aquaman, Namor's to noble to cheat. Aqua will just call in as many large sea animals as possible and WHAM! No more pretender to the throne of Atlantis.

Karadek writes:

Aquaman's gonna kick Namor's @ss! He can command the sea animals to help him, has sonar, and everything. What's Namor got? Wings on his feet? What the hell is that all about? Aquaman makes smoked salmon out of Namor. Nuff said.

Neptune writes:

Of the two, only Namor was born with the rage of the sea. Orin didn't get it 'til life knocked him around a bit. Waah! No matter how your silly human vote ends, Namor would send Orin crying back to Atlanna!

DW writes:

Aquaman has been around longer and he can speak to undersea animals. Aquaman was taught by dolphins, the leaders of the sea, we already had a fight with Jaws and Flipper. Who won? Of course, Flipper, it was obvious, he is smarter and faster. This is pretty much a remake. It's over man!!!~DW

Caine, the betrayer writes:

OK, sure Aquaman is cool; I mean for God's sake the man has a harpoon tip where his hand should be! But, Namor can fly, and he has that nifty little super strength thing on his side... All Aquaman can really do is talk to fish. Although I hate Namor and love the son of the lighthouse keeper, I gotta go with the Sub-Mariner (hopefully in a close one).

Jimmy Delpino writes:

AQUAMAN BABY!!! No contest. Aquaman will obviously rescue the princess. For one thing The Sub-mariner is gay. I mean, just look at him. He is a pansy. For another Aquaman has that kickass little hook thingy to whip some tail with. AQUAMAN ALL THE WAY BABY!

PurelyCoincidental writes:

DC vs. Marvel got it right; Ever since his revamp a few years back, Aquaman's gone from lame to @$$-kicking. They're evenly-matched power-wise, but Aquaman's willing to fight dirty, whereas Namor is held back by a sense of honor. It'll be Aquaman after a long fight.

Monkeyman writes:

Aquaman is one hell of a fighter, but Sub Mariner is stronger, faster, and he can fly. He has everything aquamna has and more. And forget that stupid harpoon arm that aquaman has. It won't do anything to a man that is hard as steel

THE BATTLE

SLUG:  The two heroes swim toward Renraw Snibor. "Swim" is such a pathetic word to describe how graceful these two are in this environment. Upon approaching the city, they are greeted by a virtual army of web-footed aliens! What's your take on this, Ferret?

FERRET:  Key words like "web-footed", Slug. That term only applies to things that get or are wet. I think my feet are growing webs. I'm not getting paid enough for this. Princess Ariel better be a fox or I'm outta here.

SLUG:  Uh, Princess Ariel is 12. A foxy 12, but 12 nonetheless. I see that Aquaman and the Sub-Mariner have decided to attack the aliens head on, using super-speed and strength. They're holding their own, for now, but sheer numbers are going to be a factor for the alien side!

FERRET:  This is becoming a worse deal every minute. I'm starting to look like a prune and for what? A couple of fast swimmers, a few bad guys and a 12 year old. I'm beginning to think weasels may be involved.

SLUG:  What's this? Octopi, whales, sharks, marine life of all types are attacking the aliens from the rear! Aquaman has stopped fighting and is apparently directing the attack! The Sub-Mariner, however, seems to prefer the hands on approach. He's pounding alien flesh!

FERRET:  Octopi? Is that a real word? Who talks like that? Anyway, hey, the aliens are in full retreat. Talk about your basic flaming cowards. A few marine animals and they run away. Thanks, Slug, are we done now, can I go now?

SLUG:  No, my shriveled-skinned compadre, we're not done and you can't go. The two contestants are now heading for the Caves of Terrag the Ugly. Look, there's Tigershark, now! Wow, what a response! Before T.S. knew what hit him, Aquaman nailed him with his hook-thingie!

FERRET:  Finally, that was cool! Death and destruction. My kind of battle. Boy that sub guy is making sushi out of tiger shark. This would be fun if I weren't so freakin' wet.

SLUG:  Get over it, would ya! With, T.S. out of the way, Black Manta appears to confront the duo. This is the guy who killed Aquaman's son! B.M. and A.M. appear to be jousting verbally! I imagine they have a lot to talk about!

FERRET:  Talk, talk, talk. Could this get more boring? OOH!. Cool. Apparently Subby agrees. I'm no expert but that had to hurt. Manta has to regret showing up. Looks like the Manta has had enough. Bet he's headed for land. Wish I were.

SLUG:  Yeah, Subby really pounded him! It looks like he's having problems with the ol' life support system. I'm thinking he's chum! But, this could be trouble for our fishy pair! The disturbance has apparently aroused Terrag's attention. This could get interesting!

FERRET:  As I see it, Manta's the lucky one. He gets to go dry off. And what kind of a name is Terrag? Probably some scrawny critter with Tyrannosaurus arms.

SLUG:  No, he's an ugly hulking beast! Apparently, Prince Namor's blood is boiling for battle! He tears into Terrag with all he's got! Terrag is down! No wait, he's up again, and hits Subby with a roundhouse from way back! Woah! S.M. went flying a few city blocks!

FERRET:  Subby looks ticked off now. Terrag is in deep kimchi. I really like this sub guy. His attitude reminds me of Spawn. At least Spawn does things on land. You know, where battles should take place. God, I'm wet and I'm sick of it. It looks like the sub dude has Terrag on the run. I say run, figuratively, anything that large can't really run.

SLUG:  No, look! He was setting Subby up! He pounded the walls and about a ton of rock fell on Subby! Hey, have you seen Aquaman?

FERRET:  Yeah. He was over by that cave with some little girl. They were swimming off together. She seemed pretty happy to see him, so I figured they knew each other.

SLUG:  That's it! Aquaman has Princess Ariel! Subby, meanwhile is crawling out from underneath the rocks! He has a smile on his face! I think he's happy to find someone worthy to fight with! Aquaman is using the distraction to slip Princess Ariel by Terrag the Ugly!

FERRET:  We went through all this so Aquaman could sneak away with the princess! Cool technique. Subby does all the work, Aquaman gets all the credit. Just like I do all the work and you get all the credit. But, alas, 'tis all in a days work.

SLUG:  Yeah, but look a Subby! He appears to be having the time of his life! He and Terrag are trading massive blows! Hey, maybe that should be a battle suggestion!

FERRET:  Aquaman is sending me a telepathic message that the Princess is well and in good spirits. I don't like this! If he does that again, I'll kick his ass, no matter what type of seafood he brings to the table!

SLUG:  Oh, get a grip, would ya! It looks like this one's all over but the crowning!

FERRET:  GOOD! Can we go now? Between the sea slugs (I mean no disrespect) and the seaweed in my underwear, I'm ready for dry land.

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

AQUAMAN: 259

SUB-MARINER: 230

THE WRAP UP

SLUG:  This is Slug, hoping you enjoyed our broadcast, signing off. Ferret? Ferret?... Man, did he get outta here in a hurry!

Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

• John Byrne Fansite

• Tegan's Aquaman Website

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

Aquaman (TM) is the property (c) of D.C. Comics

Sub-Mariner (TM) is the property (c) of Marvel Comics

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

"Ferret & Slug" written by Herb & Brian

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles