THE SCENARIO

Ancient Treasure... Cursed Artifacts... The mummified remains of lost civilizations.... It's the Raider of the Lost Ark vs. the upstart Tomb Raider.

This archeological double team of two-fisted cool are hot on a trail of clues which will lead them both to a kings ransom in looted European Artworks. Deep in the South American jungles, where elite Nazi officers found refuge after WW II, their stronghold of stolen artifacts lures Indiana Jones and Lara Croft from different directions.

Join us now as we face hired thugs and deadly traps in abundance. Which one grabs the swag and gets out in one piece? You decide in a battle we had to call...

Fight suggested by Eldritch

THE SPORTS BOX

PAT: Hello and Welcome! We are LIVE at the South American jungle stronghold of some very notorious Nazi Refugees who are rumored to be sitting on a fortune in looted European artworks.

JAY: Indeed. We're broadcasting from the safety of our mobile van as Indiana and Lara work their way through the dense jungle to the Nazi stronghold. So far our two explorers are making incredible time.

PAT: And there is the castle looming ahead. While they cut a swath to it... let's see what the viewers had to say...

YOUR OPINIONS

Eldrtitch writes:

My life has been fulfilled... my idea has been chosen...

After some depth of thought, I realized something: everything Lara's found, everyplace she's ever been, everything she's ever done, Indy has been before her; he's even found stuff she hasn't; the arc of the covenant, for instance. lara has troubles with more than two opponents, whereas indy always kicks ass...

go dog boy...

Russkie Soldat writes:

Well when it comes to Nazis, Indiana Jones has it all. But unfortunately I'll have to go with Lara Croft cause she looks so damn good.

Singame writes:

Are you kidding? Putting the upstart freshwoman up against the seasoned pro? Just on the available history we have on Indiana, I'd have to give it to him. He's been doing this sort of thing since he was a kid and we don't know how long Lara's been doing this. When it comes to the professional adventurer gig, the only two who could possibly beat Dr. Jones is Johnny Quest and the champ, DOC SAVAGE....

Ark of the Covenant writes:

Indy should have no problem. He's got more experience, plus that cool whip. So unless Lara's boobs distract him, I gotta give this one to Indy.

Dark Queen writes:

Lara Croft?! Who the hell is Lara Croft? I'll tell you who, nobody. Indiana Jones had to go through many ordeals in his movies and had to fight for his one life. With Lara Croft, If she dies all you have to do is press the restart button and you on your way again. NO CONTEST. Indiana all the way!!!

ChaosBurnFlame writes:

Indy beat Croft's butt! Since Jones is a highly renowned archeologist while Croft is there for the 'amusement' of young men every where. One fights people while the other is an expert in ancient cultures and booby traps.

The Bunyip writes:

Both contestants are well matched for their task - Lara is much more athletic, true, but Indy has the benefit of more experience and more connections. I had to go with Indy for the reason that he has much better catch-phrases, which, as we all know, are the key to defeating bad guys everywhere.

LordFish writes:

Lara may have gotten lucky a few times but Indy (and he doesn't mind if I call him that) has the experience, the know-how and the comic relief. Besides, he's dealt with Nazi's before.

Jessica writes:

Lara would kick his butt majorly!!

Captain Tautimez writes:

Indiana Jones of course! Indiana has quick thinking and a steel wit. Lara is reliant on her guns while Jones just needs a whip and a reason. Indiana all the way!

sinsecticide writes:

Well My unusually short analysis for this week is... Lara Croft has the looks, but Dr. Jones has the experience. Lara Croft might be better off trying to seduce Jones, and then ditching him to get the goods. BUT we all know that Jones has seen that before and may be ready for it... This is gonna be close.

Slug writes:

Let's see, Indy's taken on the whole German Army (twice), Indian royalty and risked the wrath of God (twice). Sorry, Sweetcheeks, you can't compete!

Laralover writes:

Lara is awesome. She has shotguns, automatic pistols, uzis, and M16's. Indy has a whip. This fight will be a lot of fun. Whip! Whip! Boom! Ahhh! It's over.

Koraj One-Horn writes:

Indiana Jones would kick Lara Croft's ass all over the globe.

Kes writes:

OK, well it is a tough call I mean Indy is a classic although that seems to mean little to people today ( referring to last week) but Lara Croft has fully automatic weapons I mean really ??? Is this even fair? I think not. Lara would whoop Indy.

Phiz writes:

I'm inclined to say women rule, but on this one I think that Indiana Jones would win. I mean think about it, he stealing artifact of archaeological importance when he was a boy scout!

ferret writes:

Indy has dealt with things Lara hasn't even dreamed of yet. Ever notice how Indy always gets the beautiful women? Lara would be just another conquest. If he would even have her.

BigDuck writes:

Besides the fact that Indy thinks on his feet, he got the one thing you can't beat. Plain ol' dumb luck.

A. Moser writes:

Come on, Lara Croft has her own private training ground for goodness sakes. She's good with firearms, which I say can do a lot more damage than some stupid whip. Lara Croft all the way.

mani writes:

Hah! Dr. Jones is the greatest archaeologist ever and there is no way an uppity British aristrocat can beat him . Besides (a) Harrison Ford is one of the great actors of our time , and (b) With proportions like that , Ms.Croft will probably lose her balance sometime.

Ps. Oooh! A guy, a gal and a whip! Cold shower time...

Andriod writes:

Ummm.... Harrison Ford. No question!! Lara is good but lacks the character Indy has.

Roha writes:

Indy is the best treasure hunter, no one can stop him, not even Lara or a bunch of Nazi scum!

Kyle writes:

Indiana Jones all the way!!!!! He took out the German army, twice! What has Lara Croft done that has been close to that?

Throg the keeper of the lost jewels of the clan of the crypt orchid writes:

Indiana has it all, he fights the most evil empire of all time and routinely kicks ass. Lara a few cartoon villains, big deal.

The Bee Czar writes:

As much as I love Indiana Jones, time is not working in his favor. Today he's a cycloplegic senile old man with a cane who goes around yelling at people and relating anecdotes of his life as a little boy and his adventures in WWI. (See Young Indiana Jones Chronicles) He's far past his prime and if he can't bore Lara to death, there's no way he can survive a fight today. Now if time travel were involved...

THE BATTLE

JAY: Back to the action! Indiana Jones is scaling over the wall using his whip. It looks like he's going get inside undetected... Wait a minute, I lost track of Lara... Pat, do you see her?

PAT: I see Lara now, she's approaching the North wall from the opposite direction. She's, Oh my! BOOOM

JAY: She's not too subtle isn't she, Pat?

PAT: Packing a grenade launcher and competing against Indiana Jones, why not.

JAY: Well the base is on alert now and guards are running to investigate the explosion.

PAT: Jay, the chaos that Lara is causing has actually helped them both. Lara has rushed through the opening in the wall and she and Indiana are sneaking through the smoke, between various crates and vehicles on the base compound.

JAY: They're both hurrying along to main building to get inside before they're noticed.

PAT: Trouble ahead, Jay. There's two heavily armed guards at the main doors and it looks like the only way in.

JAY: Both Lara and Indy stop short of the entrance and it appears that they're working together to increase their chance of getting inside.

PAT: What are they saying, Jay?

JAY: Don't know, the sound man saw a little garden snake and ran away.

PAT: They both give a nod to each other and they start to go in separate directions.

JAY: They're in position, Indy on the right and Lara on the left. Now what?

PAT: Lara launches herself towards them from her hiding spot tumbling hands over feet like a gymnast. The guards just stand there staring at her as she closes in.

JAY: We're talking lackeys from the `Batman & Robin' movie I.Q's here folks!

PAT: She comes out of it landing right in front of them. Lara throws them a smile and punches the guard on the left. Ouch!!

JAY: Meanwhile Indy sneaks up behind them while they were preoccupied with watching Lara. He goes after the second guard by grabbing his shoulder spinning him about and POW!!

PAT: Lara and Indy don't waste time and they charge inside. Lara draws out an Uzi and Indy draws out his faithful 6 shooter.

JAY: Wait, Pat.... There's a helicopter approaching the landing pad on top of the building. Something is up!

PAT: Lara and Indy hear it. They're running up a flight of stairs for the roof.

JAY: Indy has barreled through the roof entrance.... there's a group of men making their way to the awaiting helicopter, one is carrying a large suitcase. The Nazi arm bands clearly visible on their sleeves.

PAT: Oops. Jay, you know how Indy feels about Nazis.

JAY: Yes but by the way Lara is sneering she likes them even less. She raises her weapon... the guards about the helicopter spot them! They're shooting at one another!!

PAT: Lara drops behind a couple of crates still shooting. She takes out a three guards but they're both outnumbered 2 to 6!

JAY: Indy drives behind several metal drums... and spots the "flammable" warning labels! He kicks one it towards the helicopter.

PAT: As it rolls close to the helicopter he unloads his revolver into it but none of the bullets penetrates. He turns to Lara and yells. I can almost read his lips. "Lara! Shoot the barrel!!"

JAY: Pat, Lara is grinning as she levels her Uzi at the rolling barrel and fires. She hammers it until a bullet penetrates and the barrel explodes. Taking the helicopter, the bad guys and half the landing pad. What an explosion!

PAT: I hope our two heroes are all right. Wait I can see movement in the smoke, it's them! Lara and Indy are safe!

JAY: But what about the treasure! One of them are suppose capture the treasure that was in that briefcase to win!

PAT: Looks like we have a draw. Lara is now holding the battered and apparently empty briefcase.... wait... where's Indy??

JAY: And there he goes!! He pulled the old switch-a-roo on the treasure and he's hi tailing outa here with the loot!!

THE FINAL VOTE

FINAL VOTE:

Lara: 95

Indy: 118

THE WRAP UP

PAT: Lara is charging off after him... This could get interesting.

JAY: Indeed... but that is another story.

Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

• Indy Fan . Com
• The Lara Croft Shrine of Worship!

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

Lara Croft (TM) is the property (c) of Eidos Interactive

Indiana Jones (TM) is the property (c) of Lucas Films & Steven Speilberg

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

Pat & Jay written by Shawn Baillargeon (AKA Tower) - Electric Ferret Studios

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles