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Nevercroft | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
I was once so enthralled by the crimson tides that erupted from the gashes and wounds of my prey, and I marvelled in it's quantity and color. How could something so beautiful be kept inside a body? At least, that's how I used to think... Now I realize that I've squandered my solemn gift, and corrupted a skill that could have been used to protect the few that truly deserved protecting. The thought of my old life does indeed bring such terrible memory to bear.
I hate it so, a tool of sweat and steel, one that I used for killing, for severing life. It's very image burns deep within my mind, a ferrous symbol of my transgressions upon humanity. The very blade itself, like a shining mirror, portray's my true sins, my own shame, and my great folly... And yet... This is the blade that I loved so, a flaming star amidst the dark rage and cold aggression of battle. It was my strength, my weapon, my tool for destroying those who would destroy me. The bright crimson flow that issued from the wounds caused were like a sweet nectar that my animalistic soul drank in earnest. A harrowing edge indeed, my soul and sin...
I remember the blinding sting of the sword as it lanced through my then virgin flesh. It was bright, a burning poison running through my body. My nerves were fire as I ran from him, mixed with the woozy sense of being light as a feather, brought on by blood loss... Yes, the pain... A poison indeed, but not for my body. I trained, I learned, I got stronger. The pain that I had so long been absent of, the pain that had been thrust upon me, taught me fear. Through this quivering cowardice did I find the one thing that I lacked. The fear had become my teacher, my punishment, my pain. Pain and fear, all intertwined into one, showing me the true state of the fragile beings named human. It also gave me my most powerful asset... My Resolve. Through the course of my training, through the course of my toil, I learned the lesson of mental limits. Mine, however large, was hindered greatly by fear. It is by this realization that I came upon the final truth. Pain and Fear, two of the worst traits of humanity, could be overcome, could be overwhelmed, could be... Eliminated. Pain was mental in origin, a warning sign to injury. I taught myself to ignore it, just like one would ignore the in-laws at a wedding. It soon grew to be second nature to me, this denial of pain. With the loss of pain, came the loss of fear. I had feared the seeking blade, had feared the tearing bullet, but not any longer. That became my rallying thought, my mental bastion, a fortress from which I could assail those who would try to destroy me. |