The Duke of UPTOWN

Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 9 Wins!

Brutal - 1 Fatalities

AFFILIATION

Alignment: Hero

Team: Sentinels

VITAL STATS

Strength: Weak

Agility: Weak

Mind: Standard

Body: Ultimate

RECORD

Personal Wins: 9

Personal Losses: 3

Landon

Seven o'clock at Jack's Pub and Grill, your run-of-the-mill neighborhood chain restaurant-slash-bar in the middle of a suburban shopping center parking lot. Guys and gals fresh out of work are replacing their dead-end job-induced headaches with alcohol-induced stupors. ~The doors swing open and in walks a small, stocky figure decked out in a business casual duds. The pudgy figure waddles over to the stool at the end of the bar and lifts itself up onto the stool, its eyes narrowly peering over the edge. ~"A Bud Lite," the figure groans in a mid-west American "accent," "in a bottle, and some jalapeno poppers."~The bartender smiles as he hands the beer to the average-looking penguin. "How's the family?" the bartender enquires, "Those little bastards you call kids running you ragged?"~"Nah. I never get home during the week before the brats go to bed and on the weekend I just tell the missus 'deal with it, I'm watching the game' when she nags me about playing with them."~The penguin and the bartender have a hearty laugh and proceed to talk about sports, booze, and that hot new waitress with the big you-know-whats that works the closing shift.

If you were to assume that the Entirely-Plausible Penguin was related to the Semi-Rational Penguin, your assumption would be correct for the two penguins are fraternal twins. ~A theory proposed by a Khazanian tabloid stated that the Semi-Rational Penguin and the Entirely-Plausible Penguin were the personifications of Yin and Yang. While the idea amused SRP, EPP sued the tabloid for character assassination. He won.~The tabloid was probably right.

Aura of the Mundane

     Polymorph: Ultimate

• Ranged Attack Only
• Target Seeker
• Ranged and Melee Attack

A wave of the mundane arrives with the appearance of the EPP. Trendy clothing becomes off-the-rack Wal-Mart faire. Foreign movies suddenly become dubbed into English. "Unconventional" couples file for divorce. ~It isn't like the EPP does this on purpose. He holds no malice towards that-which-is-not-average, he simply doesn't understand it because it isn't packaged into an easy-to-digest reality TV program or cable news program. The EPP simple chose to react to cosmic-level awareness and godlike ability with middle-class apathy.~And for the record, "superpowers" aren't exactly something he considers normal. You can figure out the rest.

Everybody Knows Your Name

     Terrain Familiarity: Standard

"Penguin!"

The Status Symbol

     Vehicle: Standard

One Green Chevy Suburban. On the bumper is a sticker that reads "Support Our Troops In The War Against The Fallen." Inside you will find a child-safety seat, a cup holder with a day old Starbucks latte, and the latest Dave Matthews Band CD. The engine is a "manly" v6 Hemi. The EPP could have opted for the hybrid model, but the extra $1000 wasn't in his budget.~Sure, he could use his powers cosmic to teleport wherever he pleased, but the cooler crowd at work aren't impressed by anything that doesn't require monthly payments for six years.

Suburban Relapse

     Terrain Familiarity: Standard

To the untrained eye, that which we know as Suburbia is little more than a labyrinthine wasteland. The strip malls, gated communities, and chain restaurants blend together to create a dream-like horror whose terror is trumped only by its sheer absurdity. ~One could call the EPP the Allan Quatermain of Suburbia.~He wouldn't get the reference.

What is Old is New and Vice Versa

     Closed Mind: Ultimate

The EPP is set in his ways. Always has, and always will, think the way he thinks. ~Funny thing about that; back in the day he was the oddity. You know how they were back in the old school ancient days. Orgies and debauchery and human sacrifice and idol worship. Naughtiness abound. Despite this, he has always been known as the Entirely-Plausible Penguin.~That isn't very plausible, is it? Want an answer to that question? There isn't an answer.