Location: Port of Kings
Strength: standard (rank 1)
Agility: standard (rank 1)
Mind: standard (rank 1)
Body: standard (rank 1)
Spirit: standard (rank 1)
Charisma: standard (rank 1)
Fame Points: 275
Personal Wins: 5
Personal Losses: 0
Team Wins: 0
Team Losses: 0
Tourney Wins: 0
Tourney Losses: 0
Life's a bitch and then you realize, so are you. That's what happened to Maude. As far as kids go, she used to be a good one. As in, a "good kid" from a respectable lower middle income family. But then shit happened.
She stood up to her kid brother's bully, whose own brother turned out to be a rapey delinquent. She defended her chastity with a lucky brick to the temple and a less lucky but more deliberate pipe to the balls. The next thing she knew though, the bastard brought some of his friends over to her house for some payback. Things got out of hand and her father was shot in the chest with a .22 cal; he died on arrival at the hospital. That should have been it, but the shooter didn't fancy the idea of going to jail for manslaughter, so he brought in his legit mobster buddies to make sure Maude and her family don't finger him. And that's when shit stopped happening and life took over.
Let's just say, little boys who saw their dads get gunned down by criminals, don't always act rationally. If they were mindblowingly rich, they could conceivably grow up to be Batman, but in Maude's little brother's case, he just got the crap beat out of him when he refused to back down. That was the trigger.
It all happened in a flash, but before she knew it, Maude found herself beaten, bruised and bleeding all over her mom's carpets. But hey, you should get a load of what happened to the other guys. Death, that's what happened. Maude fought them tooth and nail and kitchen knifes and daddy's wrench, and against all the odds, she came out on top. On top a blood drenched carpet strewn with scumbag corpses that is.
So that got the attention of the crook who ran her neighborhood. He tried to have her snuffed at the hospital, but as keen eyes were apt to observe, Maude was a "natural" who deftly defended herself. Particularly since a hospital's pretty much an armory for someone of Maude's emerging natural talents. However, circumstances were making it plain; she was going to have to bring the fight to "them". She couldn't just stay on the defensive and risk her family eventually falling prey to "retribution". But taking the offensive to the local boss led to the underboss and a bunch of made men getting involved, and that led to the boss getting involved and once she gunned him down in his own house, that's when the other crime families had to step in.
Suffice it to say, a roaring rampage of revenge soon ensued, especially after her mom and kid brother were finally killed. It took a surprisingly short time for the various families to suffer unacceptable losses and that's when life decided to fuck with Maude just a little harder.
One day Maude woke up, did her daily routine, had breakfast, turn on the TV and... well, it was perfect timing. She turned the TV on just in time to see her mug on it. The families pulled their strings within the law and now Maude was America's Most Wanted. It was a conspiracy; one that she would investigate and end up killing a bunch of corrupt feds for before almost exposing the conspiracy, only to be involved in a higher conspiracy, and a higher one, and a higher one, until...
"Hello Mr. President."
She's a natural, this one. Sure there are plenty of psychopaths and sociopaths loose on the streets with pretty impressive kill counts, but any nutjob without a conscience can take out a crowd of unsuspecting civilians. Not our girl here. She's like the Michael Phelps of murder. You all know Michael Phelps right? He's this swimmer who won a hell of a lot of gold medals at the Olympics. The thing is though, the guy's a genetic freak. His proportions are literally inhuman. He may seem human at a glance, but the guy's totally a mutant. It's just that his "mutations" make him one hell of a swimmer.
So this brings us back to Maude. The difference between her and all the other crazies?
She's not crazy.
She's mentally balanced and socially well adjusted with a firm moral character. It's just that some people are geniuses at chess; she's a genius at murder. And the truth is, like most geniuses, her potential should have gone unrealized. But like we said at the start, sometimes, life's a bitch.
The cosmos conspired to make this moment happen. The moment where Maude Daqqa, was one itchy trigger finger away from murdering the president of the US of A.
That's right, murder. The thing she's best at. Not an assassination; this was personal. And that's why... she didn't do it.
She just talked to him. They talked for several tense minutes. She told him how disappointed she was to have voted for him, because she truly believed in him. He told her to believe in him again; that he had no choice. That he was just a puppet whose strings were being pulled but that she wouldn't believe who were the puppet masters. She pressed him and pressured him and finally threatened him to tell her. In the end, he broke and he told. And then she left.
She believed her president. Even if he had turned out to be a spineless lying son-of-a-bitch, she believed him. Because she already knew the truth. The president merely confirmed it for her.
Maude left the Oval Office. Her parting words were entirely to herself. They were bitter, bitter words that made her seeth.
"Fucking space vampires."
More Dakka (pt1)
Gadgetry: supreme (rank 3)
- Ranged Attack
- Long Ranged Attack
- Area Affect
- Super Area of Effect
- Target Seeker
In the immortal words of Sir Sean Connery, "They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue." Wise words to live by. It doesn't say much about what to do after they get out of the morgue and become the living dead, but the core concept's ageless.
Fortunately, the International Terrorists Network is pretty thorough with the gear it provides its beneficiaries. Holy water blessed by the dark gods, rune etched silver bullets and all that crap are just some of the many accoutrements the ITN can provide its members. Of course, Maude's more for practicality than tradition. A power drill to the heart or det-cord wrapped around the throat will kill most vampires. The actual space vampires are pretty rare, seeing as those have been mostly extinct for eons.
It all started around 67 million years ago when the impossibly arranged abominations we'd come to know as the progenitors of "vampires", traversed the void until they found an asteroid belt which they then used their awesome power to manipulate toward the Milky Way. 2 million years later, the asteroids finally reached the Sol System and one managed to hit the Earth dead on. It caused the mass extinction of the dinosaurs and the "Space Vampires" gorged themselves on the life energies and psychic essences which flowed freely in the years that followed, before laying themselves dormant before re-emerging to completely devour all life on this world before moving onto the next.
As for vampires, they're just reeeeeeally watered down inbred descendants of the "Keepers" those "Elder Ones" left to tend to the "Garden". Or at least, that's what the prophecies say.
So no. Not many Elder Ones, aka Space Vampires, running around. Now werewolves and chupacabras, that's what Maude found herself dealing with once she started icing the so-called "Vampire Lords" who run the whole vampire scam. They even sent "Fingers" after her, a Moth-Man hitman from the Underworld Mafia who's a total son-of-a-bitch to kill. Those two tore the entire Dreamtime up.
Of course, that kind of thing's all old hat to Maude. She's pretty much just repeating the events of her mundane life on the magical one. The big twist is that in the process of wrecking the mystical wall between worlds, a cop got caught in the crossfire. A cop from space, who was stationed on Earth to keep tabs on the whole space vampire thing, and in true Maude fashion, that led to the MiB getting involved, then the Nibiru Ambassador being exposed in a conspiracy with the Dreamtime folks, then the Galactic Police had to jump in and so on and so forth.
Even More Dakka (pt2)
Reactive Adaptation: supreme (rank 3)
Meanwhile, Maude's brush with Dreamtime and the undead led her to knocking on the Pearly Gates as well as firing a cannon on the walls of Pandemonium. One to re-unite with her family, and the other to save the souls of those who died because of her.
Now, as fantastical and unbelievable as all that might sound... I mean, I know it's crazy. We went from America's Most Wanted to I dunno, an 8 year old's imagination. But then, you gotta admit, it's as good an explanation as any for Maude's current situation...
Most Dakka (pt3)
Combat Planning: supreme (rank 3)
Caught in a Mexican Standoff with Jesus, the President of the Galactic Council and Ashmedai.