The CBUB Character Database


Batman vs. Captain America

ISSUE #107

Tom and Sylvester vs. Jerry and Tweety

ISSUE #128

Martial Mayhem - Round Two!


Lex Luthor vs. Dr. Doom

ISSUE #109

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Black Widow and Silver Sable

ISSUE #131

Kingpin vs. Penguin vs. Jabba the Hutt


Mario vs. Sonic


Scooby Doo Gang vs. Hellraiser


Hulk vs. Doomsday vs. Juggernaut

ISSUE #149

Dr. Doom vs. Magneto

ISSUE #154

Xena vs. Buffy


Cheetarah vs. Harley Quinn

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!


Elvira vs. Vampirella


Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix


Bugs Bunny vs. Mickey Mouse

ISSUE #132

The Punisher vs. France


Thundarr vs. Conan vs. Beastmaster


Sailor Moon vs. Ranma 1/2


Shaggy vs. Dagwood vs. Jughead

ISSUE #153

Mum-Ra vs. Skeletor

ISSUE #175

Luke Skywalker vs. Paul Atredis


Gambit vs. Catwoman vs. Black Cat

ISSUE #126

Q vs. Mr. Mxyzptkl


Robotech Defense Force vs. The Decepticons

ISSUE #157

Iceman vs. The Human Torch


Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones

ISSUE #125

Great Pumpkin vs. Jack Skellington


Amityville House vs. Overlook Hotel

ISSUE #136

The Thing vs. Colossus


Wolverine vs. Predator

ISSUE #176

Daredevil vs. Snake Eyes


Justice League vs. X-Men


Leisure Suit Larry vs. Austin Powers


Blade vs. Buffy vs. Vampire Hunter D


South Park vs. Peanuts

ISSUE #169

Galactus vs. Galactus' Weight in Krypto the Super Dogs


The Joker vs. The Green Goblin


Boba Fett vs. Batman


Taco Bell Chihuahua vs. Ren Hoek

Men In Black En Guarde Marvin the Martian

Men In Black
Marvin the Martian


LIVE from planet Earth comes a thrilling contest of planetary conquest. For over 50 years Marvin the Martian has been trying to either dominate or blow-up planet Earth, but this time no mere rabbit or duck will be on hand to thwart his schemes. This time it's up to a new breed of earth's defenders... the Men in Black.

Can the Men in Black, accustomed as they are to taking down the Scum of the Universe, stop this madcap caper? Or will they fall before an onslaught of Instant Martians (just add water)....?


PAT:  Live from New York, New York we are on the banks of the Mighty East River where Marvin has just dropped an ungodly number of Instant Martian Pills into the murky water below. Hello and Welcome, I'm Pat summers.

JAY:   And I'm Jay Peoples. I can see the water is now bubbling as the first large bird like Martians floats to the surface and OH BOY! There are a lot of them!! Marvin is not taking any chances this time Pat.

PAT:   No siree...He is pretty intent on... wait a second, Jay, what is the evil little Martian's master plan this time, anyway?

JAY:   Well Pat... This is quite unusual. According to my sources he plans to conqueror our world and turn it into a Intergalactic golfing range and enslave the entire human race to be caddies. Golf is apparently a very popular sport on some worlds.

PAT:   Well, that is a nefarious plot, indeed. But look! Here to stop him it's the Men in Black themselves, agents J and K... and aren't they looking razor sharp in those suits?

JAY:   Yes but I also noticed the immense looking howitzers they're carrying. I got to admit those MiB guys sure do look cool when saving our butts from an alien invasion.

PAT:   Nothing phases these guys. Ultimate pros. Well now, as the first wave of Martians pull themselves dripping onto the banks of the river, lets get some of the opinions from the crowd watching this spectacle...


Favorite letter of the Week

JonnyAce writes:

I think in a match like this, trying to compare strengths is going to be pointless. Between the never-ending MIB arsenal and the sheer stick-to-it-iveness of MtM, it's a pretty tight battle. But consider this:

  1. "J" (or "Jay", if you like the cartoon show...) is disadvantaged first with his inexperience. Because he doesn't know all the MIB equipment, he's in line to pull a Daffy Duck (first using the disintegrating pistol which disintegrates itself, then getting disintegrated while his disintegration-proof vest stays intact.)
  2. "J"'s other weakness is his tendency to show off. While he tries to go mano-a-mano with a group of instant Martians, a handful of pellets showered over his head and a little water and J will B smashed...
  3. Granted, "K" IS wiser, but all that is nothing without the Bugs Bunny ability to get zany. Instead of tricking the instant Martian into zooming a hover-scooter off a ledge, K would probably try to find it's weakness using weapons. K, this is a WB character. If Wile E. Coyote doesn't go Blammo, the Martian won't either.
  4. Over half of the times Marvin has been defeated, it involved the destruction of his base/planet/universe. The MIB are not even close to ready to take out a planet.

And lastly, remember (since somebody WILL say it...) the neutralizer (ya know, one click, your mind's erased) ONLY WORKS ON HUMANS! I totally see J walking up to MtM and trying to use it on him, resulting in Marvin whipping out a noisy cricket and blasting Will Smith's ass back to Bel Air!

predator writes:

I predict the Men in Black the victors here. Sure Marvin has robots and giant Martian goons, but the MIB has more than just J and K. They got all the other MIB agents to back them up. And if I'm correct, the MIB has one agent for EVERY letter of the alphabet. Combine this army with all the high-tech weapons the MIB has, and Marvin's toast.

Sonic Hunter writes:

MEN IN BLACK BABYYYYY!!! Even though Jay is right in saying that the MIB are a little more fragile than your average Looney Toons(TM) character the MIB will win because of superior numbers. So what if Marvin uses Instant Martians(TM) one blast from a Noisy Cricket will turn that Instant Martian(TM) into Instant Martian Fricassee! Mwuh HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

warrl writes:

MARVIN! MARVIN! MARVIN! Okay so I may be just a little biased in my opinion here. but come on Marvin is the ultimate loony tune!! the only reason that bugs beat him in those cartoons is because he was a really good friend of the exc. producer, (I here him and friz Freiling and chuck Jones were know to go on all night carrot juice binges together and then prank call Leon schlesinger at 4:00 a.m. it's the truth I swear)

Now don't get me wrong J and K are good. they are the best in the universe at what they do. but even with their unlimited technology from all over the galaxy they are still over looking one thing. because he is a Toon Marvin can not be destroyed (bugs and Mickey had that dip stuff outlawed just after they killed judge doom) so no matter what they do Marvin will just keep coming! ALL HAIL MARVIN FUTURE RULER OF THE EARTH!!!!

Player writes:

What an absolute Joke. This battle is going to be decided by one thing, Endurance. Marvin has been around for years, Willy and Tommy (who we will not admit are associated with the original or real MIB) can't even go 90 minutes for there movie. Marvin will drop those two faster then the "Fresh Prince" dropped DJ Jazzy Jeff.

Editors Note: And that was pretty quick.

Dougan writes:

MIB's got the real toy advantage here. Marvin has a great line of credit with ACME because of the 50 years of constant purchases. But MIB have intergalactic trade routes open to them for all kinds of things. I'm sure they'll find the right gimmick for any situation. Or they'll improvise...

Justicar writes:

This is going to be one helluva battle. Both combatants have definite advantages. Allow me to explain:

Marvin the Martian hails from the 23rd and half century. With this level of technology he has a massive advantage. He has also squared off against Duck Dodgers and the vast stable of Warner Brother characters, that is good experience. He also has a number of rent-a-thugs to call upon in battle. With his galactic connections he may even call in other the Marvins: Marvin the Paranoid Android, Lee Marvin and Marvelous Marvin Hagler. Marvin is one pint-sized piece of evil.

Now the MIB have been defending the Earth since the dawn of time. Marvin may have the future, but the MiB have the past and all that history to draw upon. The MiB are also trained specifically to hunt down and neutralize alien threats. I'm sure that they have battled Martians in the past. Also the MiBs have not only Tommy Lee Jones and The Fresh Prince, but also Jesse Ventura and Alex Trebeck, that's star power of a different sort.

All that having been said, I vote for the Men In Black. They may take it on the chin in the initial engagements, but they'll bounce back save the Earth... with style.

Lady Alhana Brightblade writes:

This one has got to go to my guy's Agent's "J" & "K". They've obviously got the superior technology. I mean how awesome is that noisy cricket?! IT'S DA BOMB! Not only that, but I see the MIB getting two new members: Agent Bugs and Agent Duck Dodger.

General George S. Patton writes:

On the one side we have the Men In Black, who dress cool, have amazing weaponry, and have the second best deadpan punchline delivery in the known universe, and to my knowledge have never failed to accomplish their mission. Plus they'll go to unreasonable lengths to get their favorite guns back in the event that some giant interstellar cockroach decides to swallow said favorite gun. I like that in a man or woman.

On the other side, we have this entertaining little space-black goof wearing a costume by Fuller Brush of Rome, Incorporated, shoes by Converse, and a green (Green?!?) faithful canine sidekick with the IQ of a bright turnip, and a whole jar full of Instant Martians parked somewhere in the pantry in case of emergencies, and let's not forget that Martin the Martian Maggot packs an Eludium Q-36 explosive Space Modulator. Powerful stuff and a force to be reckoned with in any universe!

After careful consideration, it will be Martin's reserve supply of Instant Martians that swings the balance. There will be so many of them to battle that the Men In Black will eventually run out of power for their weapons, and then it's all over.

The battle will be won by Martin and company, but only after a great deal of entertainment has taken place.

The Immortal Kahless writes:

Let me say a few things,

  1. I despise Bugs Bunny, he must die,
  2. Anyone stupid enough to fall for Bugs Bunny's stupid tricks must also die, even more slowly than Bugs himself. Wait, I overstate that, they should die equally slow.
  3. I like MiB, they should NOT die.

There, I have spoken, let the MiB exterminate all the loony tunes.

Crimson writes:

You have GOT to be kidding me on this. A guy who's outwitted by DAFFY DUCK of all creatures? I dig on Daffy, but he's not very smart. These are the MIB. C'mon, let's not forget how they saved the planet from that gigantic cockroach from hell. They beat that dude to hell, and Marvin's petty little insto-martians wouldn't stand a chance against the well-dressed MIB. Linda Fiorentino and Will Smith dominate this match, easily.

Nakor writes:

I am shocked to see that this fight could actually be suggested! These characters aren't even on the same level of worlds! But, I can see why you would be interested in seeing how this fight would turn out. Here is how I voted:

Marvin the Martian has been "attempting" to over take the world for, as you say, 50 years, and has failed at every attempt.

However, the Men in Black are experienced ( at least K is) in dealing with a great variety of creatures from space. They have also succeeded in winning their battles.

On a different note, Bugs Bunny usually won most of his battles with Marvin the Martian not because he is clever (though he is pretty clever) but because Marvin the Martian was stupid! (Wouldn't you be able to tell if someone handed you a box of dynamite as a present?)

RobF writes:

I like the Men in Black, they're cool and all, but they ain't no Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck. These are real people here, not cartoon characters, leaving them at a great disadvantage. 'Toons are known for their resiliency, and Marv's no exception. Just how many times has he been disintegrated and re-integrated? On the other hand, the are human, and we break too easily. Though I would like for the MiB to win, they will still get spanked like a 4-year-old at K-mart.

Editors Note: "Spanked like a 4-year-old at K-mart"? Good one. I just added that to my permanent file of euphemisms

slug writes:

Oh, gimme a break! How can this even be close? On the one side, we have the guys who taken on every space invader man has ever encounter (including a 15' killer cockroach)and either won or made peace with them. On the other, we have a Martian who can't even take a bunny. Let me see who could it be? Bunny's are really, really tough, aren't they? No they aren't! Get a grip! Marvin is toast!

Editors Note: So in other words, he'll be spanked like a 4-year old at K-Mart.

Guido writes:

Okay, we're talking about two professional alien scum busters vs. an overrated cartoon character trounced on a regular basis by a rabbit.

The only way Marvy stands a chance is if he invokes the "I'm a cartoon character, you can't actually hurt me" clause. In that case, it ends in a draw with Martin and the MIB standing on a little tiny rock that is all that's left of Mars while a little black circle closes the screen off.

Freaky-Freaky writes:

Marvin is on Mars, MIB is on Earth, its out of their jurisdiction. They can't touch them without breaking the Tyrus Treaty article 3 dash 6.

David Kelly writes:

The MIB win. And that's the bottom line. "CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!!"

Editors Note: Spanked like a 4-year old at K-Mart.... CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!!

System Ghost writes:

Marvin all the way. Look at the dude, he's even cooler then Tas, and that's saying a lot. MIB may be good, but they are no Bugs Bunny or Duck Dogers (of the 24th 1/2 century). Also, Marvin has a few extra Explosive Space Modulators(TM), and, while powerful enough to destroy a planet, they don't do more then annoy Marvin when used against him. MIB doesn't have that kind of firepower.

Last, but not least, Q, the boss at MIB, likes Marvin, so MIB won't be trying their hardest.

Noel Schornhorst writes:

Just when the MiB have dealt with the instant Martians, K-9, etc. It looks like poor Marvin is defeated... BUT, just when all seems lost, Marvin's buddies come in, guns a-blazin'. Uncle Martin, the Martian Manhunter, and those Mars Attacks aliens all burst onto the scene and quickly overpower the two agents. Mulder and Sculley find the two brainwashed agents and smell a conspiracy... but that's a different story. Meanwhile, the Mars Attacks aliens wage war on the Death Star, Uncle Martin becomes a judge in a small midwestern town, and Jonn Jonn'z gives Marvin a shiny new Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator and tells him to blow up Apokolips or something. Marvin forgets and the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator is lit and placed on his 50th birthday cake. Make a wish.

"Where is the Kaboom? There was supposed to have been an Earth-Shattering Kaboom..."

Katya: the Lady Wyvern writes:

Okay, here's what I'm seeing: ya got to relatively large guys with big guns. Then ya got a really little, slow moving guy with a lot of nifty toys. DUH! Marvin, of course. All he has to do is disintegrate them or blow them up with his planetary space modulator. Yeah, cartoon violence rules!

Polar 8 writes:

Look. I love Marvin the Martian, but as much as I like him he always seems to screw up some how, causing him the match. So the MIB with all their technology will win.

Mr. Seldon writes:

Now I am a Marvin the Martian fan as much as the next guy, but lets look at this logically,

  1. MIB - Kicked a bug bugs's butt all over the place. Marvin - Gets beaten by a bunny constantly
  2. Marvin - Has big, cool looking Guns MIB - Theirs work
  3. MIB - Saved the World, successfully Marvin - Tries to destroy the world and gets beaten by a bunny
  4. MIB - Black Suits, Cool shades Marvin - Breen Spandex, Roman Legion hat, gets beaten by a bunny
Marvin is cool, but MIB has a MUCH better track record.

Stryker writes:

The thing about these two sets of fighters is that One set is two normal human beings that have the intelligence of the human mind. The Toon has what, a fraggin' hamster on a wheel. And that's on good days.

Two, the Toon gets beat by a rabbit. A shotgun takes out a rabbit and MiB have weapons much better then a shotgun.

Three, the MiB are all around cooler. MiB END OF STORY!

The Bunyip writes:

As much as I like to be original...

Guys, you do know that the WB network just DID this one? You know, don't you?

Here was the case, in a nutshell:

MIB: We hear you want to destroy the earth - we're here to stop you. MARV: Oh, good heavens, no! I'm just celebrating my 50th birthday! MIB: Oh, sorry, we heard wrong. Carry on. MARV: I'm not going to destroy it, I'm only going to blow it up!

Editors Note: God no! Say it isn't so! They couldn't have!! Is nothing sacred anymore?

Mr. Silverback's Doctor writes:

I just wanted to let your worthless web site know what kind of damage you've caused.

Mr. Silverback had a massive coronary last Friday, and just barely managed to reach a phone and call 911. Since your page was displayed on his screen when the paramedics arrived, I can only assume that it was laughter at the idea that Marvin the Martian would have a hope in the world against the MiB and the strain overtaxed his heart. He will be all right and should be on his feet before your next match, but he is under my strict orders to avoid your sad excuse for a website.

You should be ashamed of yourselves! the man has a wife and 14 kids to support for Pete's sake!

Belladonna writes:

The MIB have it hands down. Marvin is just one cartoon alien, the Men In Black have beaten hordes of cartoon style alien in their movie, in their comic, and in their cartoon. I mean sure, they aren't as tough as a Toon, but they are much meaner. I mean really, they are our first, last, and best line of defense.....they are the Men In Black! Did I mention Will Smith rules?

Smiling Jack writes:

Are you kidding? With the Main Man Tommy Lee Jones in the same corner with the not once but twice(!) alien butt-kicker Will Smith? Marvin might as well bend over and kiss his Ass (or whatever he has under that skirt) goodbye on this one!

ticktockman writes:

Although Jay makes an interesting point about MIB being more fragile than your average Looney Tunes character, he's forgetting one thing: Spielberg. Remember, MIB was produced by Spielberg who, we must never forget, also brought us the Animanics. Sorry, friends, but no fragility argument can be taken seriously with a legacy like that!

Marvin, however, has time and again looked the UberBunny right in the eyes and refused to back down. Sure, he's never managed to win against Bugs, but so what? Does loosing to Darkseid make Apocalypse a wimp? Even Darkseid would go be reduced to a sucking-his-thumb-while-curled-up-into-a-little-fetal-ball-crying-all-the-while loser in the awesome presence of the mighty B.B. Obviously, the fact that Marvin is still around and still fighting shows that he's got what it takes.

Two minutes against Marvin and the MIB are alphabet soup.


JAY:   Okay, I see agent K and J standing in front of a line of one hundred Instant Martins. K is saying something to them while holding out his MiB badge...

Agent K:   ...failure to go through proper immigration channels and procedures, nonpayment of immigration fees, failure to inoculate, unauthorized landing.... oh yeah, and invading Manhattan.

PAT:   The Instant Martians seem to be milling about, confused by this display of authority, and the impressive looking badge he is holding.... wait... K9 has stepped forward and has swiped the badge out of "K"'s hand! He seems to be inspecting it, to see if it's legit...

JAY:   Marvin the Martian is approaching to see what is going on too. K9 spots him and passes the badge to him... and a note? Wait, he's reading it now... and the little guy is starting to pace furiously. He looks VERY ANGRY!

PAT:   The MIB stand very calmly... "K" politely puts his palm out to receive his missing badge. Marvin hands over the badge, glaring at agent "K". Can we get a close-up on what that note he's got says, Jay?

JAY:   The note K-9 gave to Marvin says... "The big guy in the dark suit said we're going to be fined 1 billion credits and our ship will be towed at owners expense!"

PAT:   Marvin turns and shuffles behind his line of gawking Martian helpers. He is tearing up the note and ...

Marvin:   Place the earthlings in Caddie Gear.

JAY:   The Martians blink twice and rush the MIB! Our heroes in black were expecting this... They raise their massive rifles!

Agent J:   Oh no you don't! You're not going to make me wear those stupid little outfits!!

PAT:   The MIB fire into the Martian lines... reducing them back to powder with every hit!! The guns seem to be sucking the moisture right out of them!! They must have been prepared for the Instant Martian bit. Marvin might need a new gimmick....

JAY:   Marvin pulls a whistle from... I guess some hidden pocket and blows on it... Wait I see something jumping from a hatch on Marvin's ship now. It's big, red and hairy... and it's wearing running shoes!!

PAT:   Oh my God!!! It's a gigantic Gossamer! The MIB immediately drop their rifles and reach in unison into their suits, pulling out Noisy Crickets as the giant, red hairdo cartoon terror goes after them...

JAY:   Gossamer is right on top of them! He's raising one foot over them to stomp the MiB!! Well, we know why he wears shoes now Pat...

PAT:   And the MIB fire as one! Double whammy with the noisy crickets send Gossamer flying into a low orbit and out of the battle, Jay. But wait, Marvin is already bringing in back-up. Here comes the ACME truck and it is delivering.... a fresh Illudium Pu-38 Space Modulator!!!

JAY:   Marvin holds the planet cracking explosive and announces to the MiB...

Marvin:   Surrender earthlings or I shall be forced to use this Pu-38 Space Modulator!!

PAT:   The MIB slowly turn their heads and look at one another. Now they are deliberately walking straight at Marvin! Do they know no fear? Is this the end of the Earth? Will I look good in a caddie uniform? Jay, this is truly a tense moment.

JAY:   These MiB guys are truly cool headed. If I live through this I'll make a note not to get into a poker game with these guys. Marvin threatens again to use it but K grabs it from his hand to inspect it. What nerves of steel

Agent K:   ... yes, it's one of ours.

Agent J:   Check it out, half-pint. MiB has acquired the patent on this and we insure all models are released defective. Now, why don't you come along quietly.

PAT:   Oh no. The little guy is VERY, VERY angry now.

JAY:   Marvin's face is glowing read! Steam is appearing around him! Wait!!! An egg has actually appeared on his helmet and is cooking, now!!

PAT:   MY GOD!!! Marvin goes POSTAL!!! He lunges at agents K and J... He's physically attacks them!!

JAY:   Oh my! 50 years of defeat is being released in an explosion of Toon Mayhem!

PAT:   He's kicking the crap out of them both!! I guess he didn't like being called Half-pint, Jay.

JAY:   I think he just got pissed off Pat. A guy can only loose so many times before going over the edge.

PAT:   And now K-9 is in on it! This is Hard-core, In-Your-Face Cartoon Violence. Ow! They're getting spanked like 4-year olds at K-Mart!

JAY:   Marvin and K9 has them tied up to a telephone pole ...

PAT:   One of his surviving Instant Martians is bringing a box to Marvin. What is he going to do?

JAY:   He opens it and pulls out a... golfing cap and places it on agent J.

Marvin:   Doesn't he look lovely?


'Nuff Said!


Men in Black: 305

Marvin the Martian: 328


PAT:   Well Jay, I better start working out. Carrying those golfing clubs can get very heavy at the end of the day.

JAY:   I'm just hoping that I don't have to wear a stupid hat.

Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

Tammy's Marvin Page

Men in Black - Official


Men In Black (TM) is the property (c) of Warner Bros. (I think)

Marvin the Martian (TM) is the property (c) of Warner Bros.

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles