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The Most Dangerous Game
Kraven da Hunter vs. Pokemon Island
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This week's Fight Production By: Packrat
THE SCENARIO
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Khazan: Home of infinate realities. And in each of these realities
the man known as Kraven the Hunter is considered one of the most feared hunters
in existance. Not only does he use only classic means of trapping beasts,
but it is said he has also hunted and captured one of every animal in
existance. His strength is such that it is believed that one punch can
stop a charging bull elephant, and he's as dexterious as a jungle cat, all
thanks to a mysterious potion concocted by a witch doctor in a hidden tribe in in
Africa. Today, however, his journey to find new prey has led him to a
small reclusive island...
Pokemon Island.
Here, Kraven the Hunter finds a multitude of creatures to track; each one a
challenge. Using only his wits, his skills, and his above-average
abilities, he hopes to do what few others have done before. He plans to
catch one of each Pokemon known to man.
Join us now in a battle we had to call....
Gotta Catch 'Em All
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THE SPORTS BOX
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PACKRAT: Whats all that noise?
CATGIRL: Harley Quinn is ticked that
Callisto left her behind when she went to rejoin Pat and Jay. So far the
death toll is up to 26...now lemme alone, I'm on the phone.
PACKRAT: So, how IS the hunt for a
judge going?
CATGIRL: Well, Catwoman told me that
if I called her again, they'd never find my body.
PACKRAT: Guess she's still bitter
about that whole Frank Williams thing...say, whatever DID happen to Frank?
CATGIRL: Last I heard, he opened up
an Orange Julius stand near row 5. Hold on...its ringing. Hello, is this
Victor Von Doom? Hello, Dr. Doom, I'm from the Khazan Arena and I'm calling
about....um....oh....oh, okay....sorry to have bothered you. *click*
PACKRAT: Well?
CATGIRL: Seems that SOMEHOW an
exploding chicken ended up in his time platform, and he threatened to...OH!
We're on!
PACKRAT: We are? Oh! Welcome adventure
lovers! We've seen quite a battle going on so far as hunter extroardanare
Kraven takes on the lovable rapscallions the world calls Pokemon.
Broadcasting tonight, I'm the Packrat...
CATGIRL: And I'm Catgirl. We've seen
a lot of action over the past few months, as Kraven has used every trick in
the book, and then some, to pull off this hunt.
PACKRAT: The most amazing thing,
however, is the fact that somehow, he seemed to know all about the Pokemon
before the hunt began! Kraven has been using items raided from the Arena
locker room, such as the Ghostbusters traps to capture the ever elusive
Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar...and many other items have been brought into
play! Now, while we puzzle over this Scoobirific Mystery, lets see what
you, the voters, thought.
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YOUR OPINIONS
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Packrat's Fave letter of the Week
Byloss writes:
At last! No more having to bow down to the pathtic whiney DC fanboys! Marvel can fight and beat someone else for a change!! Kraven has hunted every single beast, and beaten them ALL! Pokemons will be no diffrent. Though he doesn't need it, if Kraven gets a hold of one of those Pokemon computers that tells all about them, Pickyournoseachoo will be screwed and Kraven will lay the smackdown! Oh if only all the Marvel and DC fans could fight these Japanamation geeks rather than each other, we could end thier reign of terror forever! Then Marvel fans could open the can on DC cryers and end them as well! Catgirl's Fave letter of the Week
Daki writes:
--An open letter to Kraven the Hunter-- Dear Sir, Some of my closer "friends" have informed me of your recent safarai to a remote island. I have heard that the animals on this island are VERY rare and elusive. I have no doubt that your skills and techniques will be more than adequate in obtaining these animals. As a matter of fact, I believe you will be able to capture multiple numbers of each. Should you find yourself able of capturing a number of these Pokemon, I am willing to pay top dollar for their hides...the Pikachu especially. I think a Pokemon jacket will be all the rage at my party this winter. Most sincerely, Daki
DamieN Brimstone writes:
It's pretty much a given that Kraven will conquer those electrical little abominations. If only we could next send him after Japan's OTHER unforgivable import, the Power Rangers.
Pksoze writes:
Finally the great Kraven has arrived.He will eliminate the obnoxious Pokemons. Yet it will test his courage and sanity in ways he has never dreamed of. For he must survive not only the pokemons but the legions of mindless fans. Eventually Kraven will be triumph having captured the Pokemons and having stood over the fans bloody corpses.
The "Gotta kill �em all" Silverdeath writes:
Hey, a really good match! And happens the same as the last battle. Although Kraven is one of my least favorite Spider-Man characters, i must give him the victory. Kraven comes from the Marvel universe, a place much more violent an dangerous than the Pokemon Island. He is a experienced and savage hunter, with probably hundreds of victories against powerful natural and unnatural (can you say Vermin?) creatures. Plus, he was able of succesfully hunt Spider-Man, a feat i am sure no Pokemon trainer can do. And the Pokemons? The are just cute little animals. Sure, they have many powers and also they outnumber Kraven, but if you see the cartoon you can notice that the Pokemons never kill anybody. They just like to fight, and Kraven always goes for the kill. And finally, if jerks like the team rocket can cathch one, anyone can!
Alvie writes:
Kraven vs Pokemon???..is this for real. Yous guys are kidding right? the Pokewimps are no chance for Kraven. Kraven has thrown down with all the big heavies. All the pokedorks do is prance around on their happy little islans. Kraven easily.
Firestar Artemis writes:
Don't little kids catch Pokemon all the time? Isn't that kinda the point here? If a bunch of little kids can do it and train the little guys, surely the greatest hunter in the multiverse can snatch up the beasts.
LotP writes:
now, when I saw the fight, I laughed my butt off. but on a second thought, how are we to accurately guage who would win in this fight. We'd need to know numbers of pokemon, which ones he'd most likely encounter......heck, HOW MANY Pokemon would he hafta beat in the head with a baby seal club before he was considered the victor? Every Pokemon on the island? How many would that be? I mean it seems a lot to ask of any man, even The Hunter. HOWEVER......when in doubt, go with the man who dared to bury Marvel's most famous star ALIVE over talking rocks.
Eddie Filth writes:
Kraven has got to be the winner as long as he takes out one pokemon out at a time. Kraven has the animal senses of Wolverine,the agility of Spiederman,the Punisher's weapons and the cleaverness of DoctorDoom. While the usual Pokemon has an IQ and wits compared a labotomized rotweiler,Kraven will lie hidden and bag em easily.After that,Kraven will be at home with Pikachu's head manteled on the wall.DIE PIKACHU, DIE!!!!!YOU DAYS ARE NUMBERED YOU YELLOW RODENT,HAHAHA!! Oh,where was I? Oh well,go get em Kraven.
Noel Schornhorst writes:
I didn't go for the Poke'mon because of popularity. They're cute and probably smell much better than Kraven. Not to mention, they have major roles in Smash Bros. These points give them the edge over Kraven in my book. Editor's Note: Well, ya can't fight THAT logic...
Predator writes:
It's true that Kraven hasn't fought Pokemon before, but the Pokemon haven't been hunted by anyone like Kraven before either. These anime rejects aren't gonna know what hit 'em.
RealLoneWolf writes:
As skilled a hunter as Kraven is, let's face it, he's always failed against super powered enemies. (I refer you to all but his last bettle against Spider-man... and even then, he shot himself rather then battle him once more) And every friggin' Pokemon possess some sort of superpower! Kraven may bag a few choice Pokemon, but as soon as they understand someone's hunting them (they aren't stupid animals, actually; they pretty much all have sentiance) they will band together and beat the holy crap outta Kraven! And while I'm on that subject, what the Hell kinda name is Kraven, anyway? Craven means cowardly, I believe... And changing the first letter don't change the word much. He might as well be saying: "Look at me, I'm Kowardly the hunter!" Stick a fork in him, he's done. RLW
Voltron writes:
If Ash can do it Kraven definitely can!
Esrom writes:
I know more about Kraven (both Kravens) than I do about Pokemon, but I have to agree that a Pokemon with psionic abilities would probably be able to defeat him. We must keep in mind that neither Kraven is playing with a full deck. Sergei Kravinoff, in the classic 'Kraven's Last Hunt', blew his head off with a rifle--he had decided that after defeating Spider-Man (which he did), life was no longer worth living. Alyosha Kravinoff is also unstable. He can go from civilized and sociable to savage and animalistic in just a second. One minute, he's making peace with his father's lover Calypso, the next he's slaughtered all her henchmen (and possibly Calypso herself). Since insanity seems to run in the Kravinoff family, both Kravens would be in danger from the psionic attacks. They'd probably start hallucinating, attacking things that aren't there, and then the Pokemon would have them. Of course, either Kraven probably would be able to catch a lot of them before this happened. But in the end, Pokemon Isle would triumph.
The Interknight writes:
I hate Pokemon. 'Nuff Said. Go get 'em, Sergei!!
Charge Man writes:
No, seriously... Kraven is just going to get his ass kicked all around. Seeing as how those Pok�mon are willing to work together against the hunter, they'll be an unstoppable powerhouse. But please, tell me this involves the slow, painful death of Ash Ketchum. As much as I love Pok�mon, the movie will suck. Terribly.
Mockingbird writes:
If a whiny, bratty kid...a teenager with NO eyes...and an annoying redheaded girl can capture Pokemon, what makes you think that a REAL hunter can't? Kraven will have the Pokemon monsters on the endangered species list, and fast.
Don "King" Milliken writes:
Kraven takes one look at the pokemon and puts his gun in his mouth. End of story.
The Chubby Bullfrog writes:
Hey hey hey!!! I am back!!! Not that anyone missed me, probably, but who cares. I'm back. Well, onto the fight. This one's kinda tough. But then again, stats-wise, I'm not so sure Kraven can win. If the pokemon stick to the tried-and-true formula of one-on-one, then Kraven stands a chance. If they gang up on him, though, fuggedaboudit! Even mano-a-mano, though, this is a tough task for the Hunter. I mean, bagging some of the weaker ones wouldn't be so bad...but the higher level ones would cause much havok. Now, if Kraven caught some, trained them, and sent them into battle, Kraven takes it, no question. But I don't think that's gonna happen, and I don't think that Kraven can dodge the pokebullet 151 times. My analysis says that Kraven goes down.
Ravin' the Punter writes:
ROTFLMAO!! What were the guys who set this match up smoking?! I think the Pokemon are gonna win, though, if they gang up on Kraven.
Aurora - Gate Jumper writes:
The above statement that Kraven will be able to stand only against Pok�mon with physical attacks is untrue. Since Kraven is going to need to carry at least six Pok�balls on him, he might as well use them for thier designed purpose : Pok�mon battles. In this fashion, Kraven can fight and capture every Pok�mon in existence without lifting a finger. Besides, with a little reaserch and planning, Kraven can simply outsmart the Pok�mon. (ie. Rock type Pok�mon are weakened by water, etc.) With Kraven's natural abilities, plus a battery of captured Pok�mon to use, this guy will have all 150+ Pok�mon in the bag before that dimwitt Ash kid wakes up.
The Observer writes:
For the sake of humanity, Kraven must win! We haven't seen such a moral need for something to be eliminated since way back in the day when Cap'n Ahab took out Free Willy 3! Pokemon are anime...but they're the wrong kind...the nice kind, the make you feel fuzzy and good. We have the Care Bears to take care of such saccharine business. Go Kraven!
Detenator writes:
Kraven's got an advantage here, and is mostly successful, using his brute strength and stale wit to catch 145 pokemon. He will have a tough time catching the legendary birds, there only being one of each. But using his own street smartsT, and a Scooby Doo esque bait 'n catch trap, he manages to catch the birds, taking about a half hour each. The ultimate test would be Mewtwo, the ultimate psychic pokemon, hiding out in the unknown dungeon. This guy can blow up a building before you can say, "Mewtwo" (Okay, so that wasn't very clever). But Kraven manages to sneak up on the Mewster in his Psychic Pslumber, and catches him in a patented anti-seizure net. 149 down, 1 to go, and that one is... Snorlax I imagine the process would go something like this: Kraven: I will catch you! Snorlax: zzZZZzzzzzZZZz.... K: Wake up so I can catch you! S: ZZZZZZzzzz... K: WAKE UP! S: zzzzzz... Kraven will try everything to wake up the not so elusive Snorlax, but he will not be successful without the pokeflute, which he knows nothing about. Frusturated, Kraven leaves, one pokemon short of victory.
Justicar writes:
Pika-too, "Da Pika...Da Pika" Roarke Catch'em (with plastic chest), "Jes, Pika-too, we have a new vistor to Pokemon Island. A great hunter, even greater than I..." Pika-too , "Pika??" Roarke Catchem, "Good question, how do we defeat him. We drive him insane, that's how. Oh, I'm sure he'll start off on fire, but we'll wear him down. He'll be chipped away slowly... each new variety of Pokemon will fight him making those stupid little noises..." Pika-too, "Pika!!" Roarke Catche'm, "Up jours too, Pika-too. Each Pokemon sacrificing itself so the next can attack. The sheer numbers will wear his sanity away, like it did to me. When he's at his breaking point... we'll destroy him!!! Editors Note: Ladies and Gentlemen...there's only one Justicar...accept no imitations.
Katrover writes:
Catgirl has her point made. Craven might be able to capture the pokemon that acts most like ordinary creatures(ex: Persian, Tauros), but what about the ones that to spew fire? What about those that can teleport, launch psyhic attacks, can spew water, can conduct electricity, etc.? Craven is outclassed here.
Gaijin D writes:
I don't care if Kraven could or would logically win the battle. This will be very, very entertaining.
Razorwitt writes:
This Pokemon crap has gone too far. I'm tired of seeing Kids WB devote an hour of their Saturday morning programming to this unfathomably popular stuff. I'm tired of seeing kids lined up at the comic store buying nothing but Pokemon trading cards. I don't get this stuff, and all this "Gotta catch 'em all" stuff sound like it's a bit too obsessive and therefore not psychologically healthy. Go Kraven! Show no mercy!
Wyvren writes:
Kraven is going to kick serious poke butt! Do the people voting in the pokemon's favor know this man's credentials? Apparently not!! Let me give you just a few of 'em. - He's got superhuman strength. - He is credited with a trophy of every animal that has ever been hunted. - He is a match for even Spider Man(don't think any of the pokemon can top that!). -In the US Spider Man tv series he defeated and captured the Man-Spider. Now don't get me wrong I like Pokemon, and I even have a copy of the game (red version). But, credit where it's due. It's going to go to Kraven.
XXUTAK, Lord of Werkon writes:
I first I was gonna vote for Kraven and be glad of the chance to get rid of all those damn Pokemon, but then I got ta thinkin' (no, wait, put down that wooden stake). Most of you will admit that one tough Pokemon by itself can kick some pretty hard ass, right? But there's like hundreds of each of 'em! Then there's those legendary rare ones like Mew, Articuno, and Zapdos! Never mind those psionic f***ers like Psyduck. Damn you, CBUB! You have forced me to vote for the survival of the Pokemon! *sob*
The Rock writes:
Kraven's got the skill and firepower to take down most of the Pokemon on a one-on-one basis. However, unlike most wild animals, Pokemon are intelligent enough to gang up on opponents that are too tough to be beaten in a one-on-one fight. Soooo, what's going to happen is that Kraven will get an early lead, taking out some of the weaker Pokemon, especially that good-for-nothing Magikarp. Eevee probably won't be far behing. But what Kraven doesn't know is that the heavy hitters will step in. Let's see what good his firepower and toughness will do him when the Gravelers hit him with their Earthquake attack, or when the rare and power Zapdos and Articuno hit him with their electric and ice attacks. Then Moltres can fly in and fry him with some fire attacks. And if that doesn't do him in, the psychic Pokemon can finish the job with their psychic attacks, which will leave Kraven nothing more than a quivering mass of flesh.
Heatherly writes:
Wait, Wait you are going sick150 races of the most adorable loving creaters ever to come out of Japan on one muscle-bound overly dramtic, russian Marvel Comic Book character? Poor guy doesn't stand a chance. In fact i don't think he will even be able to comprehend the challange facing him, becuase his world is so different from that of the Pokemon. Kraven may be a great hunter but he has never faced this kind of quarry.
william7198 writes:
I have to say that Pokemon Isle would win. Let's just take Pikachu for example. He can do all sorts of cool moves like Thundershock, Thunderbolt, Thunderwave, and more. All Kraven can do is Throw things around.
Goldenbane writes:
Just because a lot of people both love and hate pikachue doesn't mean anything. I just think that ol' Kraven will teach that little b*stard how to talk, and THEN blow it away!
insane writes:
let me say this in Pokemon the Pokemon only fight each other.........Nuff said!
Maskim Xuul writes:
Kraven (gotta get a better name, dude) the Hunter doesn't just hunt animals. He hunts people. Not ordinary people, but people with extraordinary powers. Nothing he finds on Pokemon Island should be a real shock to him. And Pokemons aren't people...they're dumb little buggers. This'll be a long vacation safari.
The Blue Spider writes:
Pokemon are not very clever on tehir own. KRaven is a master hunter. Also, he does not have to fight pikachu and his ilk. All he has to do is subdue them. A punch here 149 jungle potions there. All done. Personally though, I hate Pokemon. It is a literararly travesty that Kraven is not hunting genreal Zarof, the hunter from "A Most Dangerour Game". a battle between comic and classic shortstory hunters would be awesome. A hunt between the Hunter and a fad from Japan. Blech.
Tony Stark writes:
WOW! You guys have had some real lame battles recently.... at least you're persistant. Editors Note: Gee, thanks...oh, by the way, nice job getting your butt handed to you by War Machine again...
Aubri writes:
Kraven is going down faster than the S.S. St. Anne! He just doesn't have the skills to capture all 150. If he's using Pokeballs, he will have to weaken them first, and he doesn't have the makings of a Pokemon master. A true Pokemon master knows Pokemon aren't just animals, but teammates! Kraven will never get that lesson through his thick skull. It would take some pretty high tech gear for Kraven to capture even Pidgeotto if he won't fight USING pokemon, net launchers at the least. I have no idea how he's going to deal with the giant rock snake, Onix. Even assuming he is prepared with plastic gloves for electrics and so on to catch them by hand, the psychic and ghost pokemon will present a major problem. Psychics can attack his weak point.. his mind. And Kraven can't get close enough to do battle person to person, especially if he's trying to capture MewTwo. I shudder to think. He'll never touch Gastly, Haunter or Gengar without them wanting him to. Their paralysis and sleep attacks will have Kraven cowering in fear or passed out, whichever comes first, before you can say 'Bulbasaur'.
Brian writes:
Well, I don't know about one being more powerful than the others, but this is a democracy, its not governed by logic. I just think that a lot of people, including me, will want to see Pikachu die. He's a stupid little character making millions of dollars off the witty dialouge of his name. "Pika" "Chu" or, "Chu? Pikaaa, chu!" I hope this annoying little uncreative-marketing-scheme-electric mouse is a liquid by the time this is over. I wonder what his last words are going to be...
Christian writes:
Kraven. One of the most feared, well-written and effective of the Marvel villians. Pokemon... marketing freaks aimed at children. Kraven would hunt, kill, gut and skin these repellent little blights on my comic shopping experience. And, I should point out, if Pokemon wins, in the depths of despair shall I, having no choice but to believe that Satan now rules the earth, personally track and destroy the creators of the fucking cutest and most vile thing I've ever seen.
seahawk27 writes:
I've gotta say this will be a double elimation draw, though I gave the vote to Kraven for the following reason. Yes, Kraven won't be able to handle the psionic attacks so he'll do what he does best when under stress. He'll go freakin Insane! Just ask spider-man. I would expect a deranged Kraven to plant bombs all over the island and blow everything to kingdom come*, including himself. Not much of a victory, but if you want a real battle send Carnage to Pokemon Island. *tm Editors Note: Hmmm....oh seeeerrrrgggeeeee....
LVtheman writes:
Kraven all the way. I'd love to see all those little beanie baby knock-offs get waxed and stuffed. So, for personal reasons, I'll be buying the Gatorade for Kraven during the match.
kenkam writes:
The simple truth of it is the attacks of the creatures don't matter. They will be dead before they even detect Kraven. This isn't a fight it is a hunt, and he is Kraven the Hunter.
monkman writes:
I went with Kraven. If he can isolate each one he's got a good shot. However, the stylized little bastards will all huddle together looking all scared in their Japanimation way, then in a flurry of blur lines toast Kraven. Give the man some prep time and all their tiny eggplant bodies will rest on pikes by nightfall.
Falkon5 writes:
Will Pokemon win?Lemme think for a nanosecond-no.Man, that is actually scary, though. Pokemon are so famous that they already have a fight in CBUB.Next will be Furby vs. Beanie Babies.Shoot that's even scarier.
1bgdaddy writes:
Kraven was considered one of spidey's most dangerous foe's,not for his super powers,but only because of his vast understanding of animals and hunting skills. I say he studies up on his pokedex an gets'em all
WackyBob writes:
I just have one question for Mr.Hunter: CAN I COME WITH YOU? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?! I won't need much, just a few grenades and a flame thrower! And I'll just get the small Pokemon..Honest! Editors Note: That's it...we should have charged admission...
Pikachu writes:
Pika,pika,pika. Pi...,pi...,pikachu... Pika,pika. Pika pika chu chu pika pika pika pika pika pika pika pikachu pika pika pika pika pika pika pika pi PIIIIIIIIKAAAAAAACHUUUUUUUUUU!!! Editors Note: Dude...check yourself into a Betty Ford Clinic...Jerry Springer just called and said you need help.
Penumbra writes:
So Catwoman recons that Kraven will end up a vegetable huh? I don't see it some how, the Hunters brain is messed up enough to put any of the Pokeman Psionics into a mental loop for a week between his jungle juices and insanities I see him walking through the attack with gritted teeth to rip out the psionics throat with his teeth
Dizzy D writes:
The Pokemon's may have all kinds of powers, but Kraven is a master hunter. He will prepare himself for every hunt by studying his opponents and psionic shields are commonplace in the Marvel Universe, so he will be able to get one of those. Pokemon's may have all kinds of tricks but Kraven will be prepared !
Matches Malone writes:
Pokemania has gotta stop...and Kraven is just the man to do it.
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THE BATTLE
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CAT GIRL: Okay, so I sent him a
Pokedex...how else was he supposed to find out ab...oh, we're on again!
PACK RAT: Ladies and
gentlemen...please welcome our guest judge, the extremely lovely Buffy
Summers, a.k.a. Buffy the Vampire Slayer!
BUFFY: Hi, everyone!
PACK RAT: *sigh*....isn't she dreamy?
CAT GIRL: Hey, snap out of it,
remember the fight? The letters?...
PACK RAT: *grumble* Well, those
letters were certainly...disturbing....to say the least...now lets cut down
to our floating cameras as we track one of the last few Pokemon that Kraven
is yet to catch.
CAT GIRL: Ah, here we go, the
Clefairy is on screen. Seems pretty quiet on Mt. Moon right now...lets try
switching to infrared.
PACK RAT: Hold on, we've got action!
I think I see Kraven! It is! Kraven is crouched in a tree right above the
Clefairy!
CAT GIRL: He's flinging something
down over the Clefairy! Its a net! The Clefairy doesn't see it coming!
PACK RAT: Well, cross one more Pokemon
off the list...how many does that make it? 147?
CAT GIRL: All he has left is an
Onyx, a Pikachu, and Mewtwo, who he seems to be avoiding.
PACK RAT: Hold on, I'm getting
something...seems that Kraven has just took off running. Wonder why he-
CAT GIRL: Egads! Look at the size of
that Onyx! Its got to be about the length of three buses! Its charging
after Kraven!
PACK RAT: Kraven is just barely
managing to stay ahead of the giant rock snake...
CAT GIRL: Kraven's leapt over a small
rise, still carrying the Clefairy...looks like the net he's using is laced
with some kind of tranquelizers...
PACK RAT: Onyx charges after!
Egads...the rise drops down to a creek! Onyxs eyes are wide in horror!
CAT GIRL: And with a large
Ka-Sploosh, the Onyx hits! Its screaming in agony! Wait...Kraven is on the
shore, he's picking up a sack, he's throwing it at the Onyx!
PACK RAT: The sack connects! Powder
explodes from it! Onyx is getting groggy...he's leaning...he's down!
CAT GIRL: Hey...there's a kid on the
field near Kraven!
PACK RAT: It's....it's Ash Ketchum!
Whats he doing here? He seems to be saying something to Kraven...probably
trying to tell him that what he's doing is wrong...
CAT GIRL: Kraven is laughing...
PACK RAT: Ash has sent out Pikachu to
teach Kraven a 'lesson'! Pikachu is running out...seems to be building up
an electrical attack...
CAT GIRL: And Kraven has tossed a
dart into Pikachu's neck! Pikachu is eating dirt! He's out like a light!
PACK RAT: Ash is screaming something
now while Kraven tosses another net over Pikachu...hold on, Kraven is
looking at Ash...he's saying something...he's picking up a shotgun! He's
aiming it at Ash! He's....
CAT GIRL: Dear God....was that in the
script?
PACK RAT: I dunno...but I think I'm
going to be sick. Well, Ash is now just a memory to Pokemon Island,
and...hold on, are those bushes rustling?
CAT GIRL: They sure are...uh-oh,
everyone...the final challenge for Kraven has just stepped out. Mewtwo has
entered the clearing, and he looks ticked.
PACK RAT: While Kraven and Mewtwo
analyze each other, lets get a sideline opinion from our special guest
commentators, Team Rocket!
Jesse: Prepare for trouble...
James: ...and make it double...
CAT GIRL: Uh, could you guys get on
with it? How'd we end up with them again?
PACK RAT: Nobody else would do it for
what we were paying.
Jesse: Oh, uh, sorry...anyway, I
think that no matter who wins, this is indeed going to be quite a match up.
Although, personally, I think that Kraven has this match 'in the bag'.
James: Exactly. You could almost say
that this fight is '
CAT GIRL: Can I fire them?
PACK RAT: Only if you want to pay
their unemployment wages.
CAT GIRL: Well, Kraven has tossed
aside the shotgun, he's circling Mewtwo, but Mewtwo is just standing
there...wait, his eyes are glowing!
PACK RAT: Kraven is frozen in place!
Mewtwo is approaching the hunter, a smirk on his face...and it looks like
Mewtwo is doing his psychic attack!
CAT GIRL: Hey...isn't that Team
Rocket trying to sneak away with Pikachu?
PACK RAT: Kraven is...huh?
Hey...you're right...I wonder if Kraven sees them...
CAT GIRL: Oh, I think he does! He
seems to be starting to froth at the mouth...Mewtwo is starting to sweat!
It looks like he's struggling to hold Kraven in place!
PACK RAT: Not surprising. That
psychic attack must be just about useless now...it would be like trying to
grab hold of the wind. Mewtwo is applying more pressure onto Kraven,
though...Kraven is on his knees...his hands are around his waist...
CAT GIRL: Wait! He's been faking this
whole time! His arm sweeps out as another sack of powder flies toward
Mewtwo!
PACK RAT: Mewtwo manages to dodge the
sack, but it cost him his concentration! Kraven is completely free now!
Kraven leaps at Mewtwo!
CAT GIRL: They're moving too quick!
A punch here, a jab there...Mewtwo seems to be on the defensive though.
PACK RAT: Mewtwo lashes out with a
kick, trying to knock Kraven back...but Kraven catches his leg! He's holding
Mewtwo!
CAT GIRL: Mewtwos eyes are glowing
again...he's getting his concentration back...and Kraven....ewwww.
PACK RAT: Egads...Kraven has...Kraven
has just snapped Mewtwos leg like a twig, and is now slamming Mewtwo into
the ground. Ladies and gentlemen...Mewtwo is gone.
CAT GIRL: Kraven is now approaching
the fleeing Team Rocket, who have paused to do their theme again...
PACK RAT:
.......*wince*.....ouch....thats gonna hurt....well, at least we don't have
to pay them now....
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THE FINAL VOTE
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'Nuff Said!
FINAL VOTE:
Kraven da Hunter: 566
Pokemon Island: 449
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THE WRAP UP
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PACK RAT: Well, folks, its
been....violent...but now I'm afraid we have to wrap it up.
CAT GIRL: I know I barely managed to
keep my lunch down...well, on behalf of Team Rocket, Kraven, Buffy, and lots
and lots of Pokemon trophies, I'm Catgirl.
PACK RAT: And I'm the
Pa....hey...where'd Buffy go?
CAT GIRL: She went into the rest room
to...do the technicolor yawn...calling Ralph on the big white phone...
PACK RAT: And who can blame her?
Anyway, goodnight, everybody!
DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:
Kraven (TM) is the property (c) of Marvel comics
Pokemon (TM) is the property (c) of (??? I have no idea... but somebody)
This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.
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