The CBUB Character Database

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Cold Space - Hot Bodies
[ AERYN ] [ IVANOVA ] [ KIRA ]
star star
Officer Aeryn Sun vs.
Commander Susan Ivanova vs.
Colonel Kira Nerys

THE SCENARIO

An abandoned Khazanian cruiser drifts aimlessly through the void; the perfect place for a heavily armed cat fight. We're powering up the life support systems, beaming three kick-ass soldier women aboard opposite sections of the ship, giving their preferred weapons, then watching them try to blast the crap out of each other. The winner gets glory for herself, her service, her species, and her franchise. The losers gets...well, it probably won't be glory. And now let's meet our contestants...

(Brought to you by The Khazan League of Women Voters)

Officer Aeryn Sun: Before being declared "irreversably contaminated" by her crazed Commander, Aeryn piloted a fighter in the elite Pleisar Regiment of the Peackeeper Armada. Though her defection has robbed her of her spot on a commando team, life as a fugitive still provides Aeryn with plenty of people to frag.

Lt. Commander Susan Ivanova: Throughout her career Ivanova has been a crack fighter pilot and a highly respected officer. For a number of number years she was one ppg blast away from Commanding Babylon 5. Her fiery career in Earth Force has primed her for action and she's always ready for it.

Colonel Kira Nerys: During the Cardassian occupation of Bajor Nerys was an active and highly effective member of the resistance. She rose through the ranks of the Bajoran militia eventually landed a job which put her one phaser blast away from commanding DS9. She is one lady in the Trek-verse you don't piss off.

Join us now for a battle we had to call...

She's Got Issues

THE SPORTS BOX

JUSTICAR:   Live from the forgotten third moon of Khazan! Floating in geosynchranous orbit is the derelict frieghter K.S.S. Cherry Garcia. Our three women are suited up and ready for brutality! Welcome all, I am Justy Hakubi!

DAMIEN:   And I'm DamieN Brimstone, and things are getting under way in a hurry here. The ladies are checking the charges on their weapons, and now they're each storming off through the corridors. Our camera droids are on-line to follow all the action.

JUSTICAR:   The women are stalking about the ship looking for signs of the others. Our trusty mobile Cambots are bringing us the live action feed. I think Ivanova may have bead on one of the others.

DAMIEN:   I estimate it'll be a few minutes before any of the ladies are in range of each other. So while Justy starts blasting Queen's greatest hits CD on his discman, let's have a look at the mail bag shall we.

GEEK INTERN:   Umm... what button do I press sir?

JUSTICAR:   Whelp! ruin my broadcast!! Through him into the pit o' rabid Joxer youth, DamieN!!

GEEK INTERN:   What! What did I do?! Have... mercy... *dragged off* ... [screams of agony]

YOUR OPINIONS

FAVORITE LETTER OF THE FORTNIGHT

Kresh writes:

It's gonna be close but I think it'll come down to Kira and Aeryn...Susan is a kick-butt fighter jock but she would get her ass handed to her in a fire fight. That leaves Kira and Aeryn. Mmmmmm..hose me down boys it's gettin kinda hot in here. The winner of that conflict would totally depend on the battlefield. Aeryn is a first-rate soldier and marine but Kira is an impressive resistance fighter. Let's find out their respective strengths:

-The battleground: Both Kira and Aeryn would be able to spot the best ambush spots in about three seconds and use them just as effectively. Both are also seasoned urban fighters and know how to use the terrain to their advantage.

Winner:It's a push.

-Firearm Effectiveness: Aeryn has had extensive training in marksmanship and in battlefield maintenance. Kira has had little in the way of formal training but is an effective fighter nonetheless.

Winner: Aeryn by a slight margin

-MacGyver Factor:Aeryn is a by-the-book marine who is only just learning to compromise (her specialty appears to be in electronics). Kira, on the other hand, could make your day go from bad to even worse with just a kleenex and a stale bagel. Give her something more formidable, like a soup spoon, and she could take down a whole slew of peacekeepers.

Winner: Kira by a good margin

-Uniform intimidation: Aeryn totally takes the cake here. Black leather outfits, mean and nasty weapons, stompin' boots, and that "I'm coming for you boy!" ponytail spells total domination in this field. Kira, by comparison, wears some kinda Starfleet inspired uniform with that short haircut of hers. Neat, but next time replicate something with a little more attitude in it. Kira needs help to intimidate schoolchildren, let alone Aeryn. And those pansy phasers? Give me a break.

Winner: Oh please, Aeryn...sheesh!

-Envormental Factors: Kira has a nice desk job on DS9 and deals mostly with renagade Bajorans, renagade cardassians, and renegade space oddities. Aeryn lives on a living ship, is constantly chased, and gets in a lot of fights. Plus, she is one of the renagades.

Winner:Aeryn a life on the run makes one hard.

-Sex Appeal: Don't look at me like that! You knew it was coming! This totally depends on your mind set; if you like soft and fuzzy things then Kira's your girl. For the rest of you I have one word.....leather. Black leather. And the occasional red leather too! Mmmmmmm.... To put it another way, Kira would be a neat date and probably a bit of fun in the sack. Aeryn would be a terrifying erotic experience that would involve alot of begging for your life, sex, and just a little bit of "Could I go now? These peacekeeper manacles really chafe.".

Winner: If you like telletubbies then Kira's your dream girl. However, if the Craft is you bag of tea, then Aeryn is the one for you!

-Our Champion: Aeryn Sun!

Not just the winner in the image department, Aeryn is the better soldier, in better shape, and is constantly on the edge with her life on the run and all that. Kira is a good resistance fighter but weak in a firefight. Plus, have you seen what those Starfleet people eat? All photons and light. Not nourishing like a good food cube(The taste just makes you stronger). Talk about being outa shape...Kira has a desk job and that just erodes your combat effectiveness. And that's my two cents on the deal...Aeryn by a ponytail!


Sailor Dragonfyre writes:

I vote for Kira. She had the stamina to survive on the most sopa opera like star trek series, and if you watched it you know she was a little power house. she kick the other's butts into the 40th century, and back if given the chance. oooo, and cool bonus, if you punch her in the face odds are you'll hurt your fist more than her nose, cause of her cool nose ridges!


Mr Sinister writes:

Kira's got this one in the bag, man. Neither of the other two has what it takes to fight down and dirty like Kira does. She was a frickin' guerrilla fighter fer cryin' out loud! She has knowledge of almost all types of weapons (she needed to - she never knew which one she'd be using next), and she has the kick-ass hand-to-hand skills to handle angry Klingons. I think these two other chicks are slightly less of a threat...


Chuckg writes:

The trouble with commenting on this battle is that the very best line possible was already used in Grudge Match's "Ivanovs vs. Leia vs. Seven of Nine" match.

But here goes the quote anyway...

"Let me get straight to the point. As we all know from the Babylon-5 mantra, Ivanova is God. She even moonlights as Death Incarnate. Match over. Anyone for pizza?"

=====

And in closing, let us meditate upon the wisdom of Ivanova...

"Trust Ivanova. Trust yourself. Anyone else, shoot 'em!" :-)


Cruton writes:

Gotta go with Sun. Ivanovan is primarily a pilot. I rarely saw her in a person-to-person fight. Therefore, the most she can do is hide behind a corner and shoot her little shiny pistole thingy. Kira, however, is a seasoned warrior with lots of experience. So is Sun. But you have to compare who they fight. Kira has manly taken on regular humaniod, with a shape shifter or two. Sun has fought aliens stronger, faster, and occasionally breath fire. I think my point is obvious.


Sailor Xena writes:

This was pretty tough, but it came to the mantra and the fact that the other two don't. I mean has anyone heard of the Sonn mantra, or the Nireese mantra? I didn't think so, so lets all chant along....

Comander Ivanova is always right

I should listen to her all the time

I should........


D.Merzel writes:

Ivanova Shall win.

Peace Keepers Vs Psi-corp. Similar tech levels & dress code but Psi-cops have telepathy and don't faint in tropical sunshine, in total much tougher, add to which Susan is a teep and...

Ivanova gets to environmental controls and uses the skills used in star ship operation to turn up the heat on Sun. Next is kira vs Ivanova.

Both can shoot, but kira will be restrained by federation pacifism. Nearly all star trek people will attempt to negioiate unless shot at first. B5 will shoot with even a threatening gesture. Kira attempts to open a dialogue, Ivanova shoots, Kira is down

To conclude Ivanova is god, the only person I would give a chance against that is Misato


The Assassin writes:

Aryen or how ever you spell it is your definate winner here. She is from an advanced race that is trained for combat. The other two are just a couple of ranking officers in a wussy federation. I mean the peacekeepers could destroy the federation. Plus if she got into trouble the rest of the cast from Farscape could come kick some ass. That is why i voted for her and had my friends vote for her. AREYN WINS!


Harley Quinn writes:

Thank God!

I don't know any of these three!

I'm not as nerdy as I think!


Aubri writes:

I think this is a close fight, but Ivanova has a slight advantage, given that this is a ship. Ivanova is a tactical and strategic thinker. Aeryn is primarily a marine. Basically, well, she's a grunt. Great at hand to hand fighting, but Ivanova will find the environmental controls right away and crank up the furnace. She and Kira start sweating, but Aeryn goes into shock.

Then, Kira isn't even a challenge--a world where only redshirts die isn't conducive to survival. Kira has to fight the Jem Hadar, but Ivanova has gone up against the Shadows. I mean, the Shadows! We're not talking people-in-funny-masks here. Kira may have worked for the Bajoran resistance, but Ivanova has survived years as a pilot in a fighter.. without.. shields. She can't just modulate the phase variance and everything is OK, Ivanova has to rely on ACTUAL PILOTING SKILL. Given past experiences, Ivanova will outsmart Kira with half her brain tied behind her back.


The Toast Rider writes:

Ivanova wins. Anyone who helps bully the Shadows is thumbs up in my book.

Kira and Aeryn will have a shorter lifespan than a nuclear device in the possession of John Sheridan. Man, somethimes I just wade through all these commentaries for the names ^_^. - Justy


Mockingbird writes:

Gotta go with Kira here. Just LOOK at her! Aeryn looks like she's sniffing something, and Ivanova is giving the 'come-hither' look to some dude off-camera! And don't get me STARTED on accessories here! Kira has that lovely earring and that neato little pin on her costume. Aeryn has a gun. Yipee, how chique. Ivanova has all those nasty little badges, a girlscout who would do best selling cookies. Finally, we've got hair issues, ladies. Kira has the short 'do, proving that she's a true woman of action. She doesn't bother with curling irons or hair gel...she rolls out of bed and is ready to rumble! Kira for the win!


Ard-Man writes:

Major Kira will with this small squaffle because she has guts. Remember the first episode of DS9 where Chief O'Brien said after the bluff Kira made against theses bloody Cardassians: "Remember me not to play poker with that lady.".


Chris Mullane writes:

Kira's got this one totally in the bag. Nobody's even heard of this Farscape chick before, I mean what they heck IS Farscape anyway, some satillite startup? If it ain' good 'nuff fer mah rabbit ears, ain' good 'nuff ta watch. Now then, Ivona's got the bitchy attitude on, but nobody's so permanentely disgruntled that their entire race's noses are wrinkled like Kira. As soon as someone in the audience shouts "She's a Cardie in disguise!" Nerys is gonna go into full resistance mode and show Ms. "I-gave-a-PMS-induced-tin-God-speech-so-now-I'm-a-badass" Suzie how to properly resist oppression.

P.S. anybody who's crazy enough to fly a wing of impulse raiders against a fleet of Romulan warships and WIN (by virtue of bluffing, but a victory's a victory) is not going to fall for any delusional speech threatrics.

P.P.S.: Since Kira isn't a member of the Federation, the Trek Must Lose factor is NOT in effect! (Ref. WWWF's Borg v. ID4 Aliens for proof.)


Dark Queen writes:

Sorry Kira and Aeryn but Ivonova is a bitch with attitude! She's and ace pilot who always gets her way. A very disaplined soldier who is used to getting things her way.

Besides, who wants to mess with an angry Russian? My point exactly.


The Bunyip writes:

This one's going to come down to Ivanova and Kira pretty fast, let me tell you. While Kira is nobody's fool, nobody wins the "cast iron hard-ass mega-butch a$$-whoopin'" award like Ivanova. Sure, Ivanova may be temporarily distracted by Kira's form-fitting Star-Trek Issue Babe-Suit (TM) (hey, if she liked Talia, wait'll she gets a load of Kira), but Ivanova can't be fully distracted when death is in the air. After all, she seems to have been the only one on B5 who had the guts to do something permanent about Bester, after all. In the last round, Kira gets smacked like Ted Turner caught alone at a Babylon 5 convention.


Greebo71 writes:

I vote for Kira. Reason #1: Even though she is on a Star Trek show and is a member of Deep Space 9, She doesn't care all that much for the Federation. Neither do I. I hope the Borg assimilates the lot of them.

Reason #2: Babylon 5 sucks complete ASS!!! It is nothing but an amalgamated rip off of Star Trek and Star Wars with a dash of idiot thrown in. So Kira, an accomplished guerrilla warfare veteran, will smoke the Babylon chick, whose name I have already forgotten.

Reason #3: Who is this other chick? If she is from one of those other shows that airs on some godforsaken hours at night/in the morning, then she deserves to lose on the basis that her show can't get a decent time slot and it is her fault.

Besides, Kira, being an intelligent woman will have an ace up her sleeve. Actually her ace will be hersleeve in the form of Odo, who morphs into her clothes and comes along to help. This of course leave Kira to fight in her Victoria Secret's push-up bra and thong underwear.

No Federation issue skivvies for this Bejoran babe!!


Gothamite1 writes:

Kira's loosing!!!!!

How the Hell is that happening? I mean who is she against?

Aeryn? Who is she? Some chick that is the stereo typical hard nosed female officer who still falls for the rugged charms of the heroic male lead. God, I thought Tasha Yar was bad enough.

Now we have Ivanova who jumped ship for a better career because she knew what was coming next.

Crusade.

She should be shot for that alone. Of course the upside is that Elizabeth Lochley was able to replace her (now she is someone who could give Kira a run for her money). Why wasn't she in the group?

Kira rocks and she don't need to fall into the arms of a man and cry on someones shoulders all the time. She's sexy, independant, and smart. She can kick the crap out of these losers any time.

Wait a mo though.

Is this a foxy boxing style fight? Winner losses everything?

If it is then that would explain why she's losing :)

Go Aeryn, Kick Kira's well toned ass then go seek out Lochley >:)

PS when are we gonna see Quinn and Calisto in the ring?


The Pilot writes:

I simply cannot believe that Ivanova is ahead of Kira. Kira fought in a resistance where you either kill or get killed. Kira could not help for help and get it right away. In effect she was on her own. Give her a chance and she will simply crush those who get in her way.


BSD writes:

For the moment, let's lay aside the obvious fact that Ivanova is God. I'm sure that every single person who comments in favor of her will bring it up, so let's lay that aside for a moment. It's obvious, though, even then, that she's got this match sown up tighter than [Deleted].

First Kira. Kira, Kira, Kira. She's a whiny ex-resistance fighter in love with a bowl of goo. While a bowlful of jelly may be all well and good for a jolly elf's stomach, it doesn't say much about her taste. But I digress. The reason Kira will lose is due to her nose. Experiments prove that in Star Trek, funny noses, much like funny foreheads indicate warlike bastards, indicate opressed whiners. I'm a card-carrying member of the ACLU, and donate to Amnesty, but being on the right moral side doesn't help squat in a barfight. She's a whiner whose people were opressed by a bunch of bony-headed idiots and only broke free when helped out by the biggest, baddest group in Star Trek, the Federation.

Aeryn Sun: Deadly, beautiful, rides around in a WHALE with a bunch of FREAKS. She got kicked out of the Peacekeepers for being too nice. That doesn't get you points in a battle to the death. Farscape is a better show than all of Star Trek and most of B5, but Aeryn Sun can't compete with Ivanova on the field of honor.

Finally, Ivanova herself. While Kira is a plucky resistance fighter who can't seem to run the station right or keep her people free, and Aeryn Sun is a fugitive ex-jackbooted thug, Ivanova was/is:

1: Partially psychic.

2: An excellent Starfury pilot.

3: A skillful executive. While Sheridan was making time with Delenn, Ivanova was running the station. (B5 is FAR harder to run than DS9, and anyway. Sisko does all the work there).

4: A skilled Diplomat, convincing the First Ones from Sigma ### to help out against the Shadows.

5: A skilled strategist, commanding first the White Star fleet, and then given command of a major Ship of the Line by EarthForce.

6: Backed up by the Rangers. (Normally not considered, but even if it were, the Rangers beat the crew of the spacewhale and the Prophets).

7: Loved by Marcus Cole.

I'm sorry. But God's got this one all sown up.


Funky Chinaman writes:

I don't know about the other two, but Kira looks damn good in that uniform. True, there was a awhile where she kinda had a fat ass, but that was because she was pregnant, and she get back into top form real quick. There's a reason there was never any "full figured" women in Starfleet, much less flown blown fat chicks. Kira doesn't just wear the uniform, she DESERVED to wear the uniform, and not just because she killed a lot of occupying Cardassians.


Daki writes:

You just have to love a catfight like this. In my opinion they are all winners, but this is Khazan and there can be only one. So who is my one? Simple, Aeryn Sun.

I can't debate this on military experience since all three have earned the notches on their belts. But this isn't a military operation...this is a one-on-one-on-one fight. This favors Aeryn. Her birth was one of selective breeding to produce a supreme warrior.

Her major weakness is her inability to take heat. I can see this being her downfall, but I believe she will be able to handle the others fast enough that it won't be an issue.


THE_ONE_AND_ONLY_CATGIRL writes:

WHAT THE HELL?!?!? Ivanova is in the lead?!?! The chick couldn't take on Kira,she's to busy with her hair and nails!

Kira wouldn't break a sweat much less a nail, and if Ivanova knows what good for her she'll run screaming back to Babylon 5 while Aeryn gets her face kicked in and her guts pulled out.

Cause Kira just happens to be in a bad mood for wasting her time on these dumb chicks, she'll beam onto the Defiant and blow Aeryn out of space. Cause Aeryn didn't think to put up her shields!


Thrawn02 writes:

Officer Aeryn Sun could lay the smack down on most anyone. However, she has two things against her. First, her show is relatively new while Babylon 5 and ST have established fan bases. Second, Farscape is only on the Sci-Fi channel which not everyone gets whereas Babylon 5 and ST can be seen on basic cable. Therefore, although I think Aeryn could take it, one of the other two contestants will win.


azermaine writes:

my reasons for choosing Ivanova are purely sexual! She is a much pretiier Babe than the other 2, not that I wouldn't bag any of em given the option! She has appeared in Playboy, I have the issue. I think Kira may have as well, but she is still on the show, so It's doubtful. Remember what they did to Tasha Yar!

The MAdd1


Rick R. Mortis writes:

Ivonova... why? She uses SARCASAM! And SARCASM is deadly! FEAR the wit of Ivonova! FEAR it I say!

And she's got better hair than the other two.


Sherman writes:

Aeryn will blow the compeitition away!

Kira might be able to hold her own for a little and then aeryn would blow here guts all over the place with her gun.

that Ivanova bitch? She ain't gonna last two seconds against kira AND aeryn!


The Southern Fist writes:

I have to give it to aeryn. Shes been a peacekeeper for most of her life. How do you keep the peace? By using brute force, and thats what shes good at. Kira fought the good fight for the liberation of bajor, and ivanava for the good of the world. Thy did not really choose to be inthe situation that they were in, it was thrust upon them. For Aeryn, she was born, and bred to bust heads. Plus shes cold blooded. Truly cold blooded, and she has the I-want-to-rip-your-head-off-and-use-it-for-a-bowling-ball." type of attitude.


Joannie writes:

Here's one I've been wanting to see for a while now! Of course, the only spacegirl who actually stands a chance is Ivanova. Wittiest, toughest and meanest, what more can you ask for? And 'sides, don't you know "Ivanova is god"?


Tanya writes:

Aeryn has been trained in the peacekeeper army since birth, there is no way anyone is going to out do her, if not for her totaly snap-of-a-whip strategies, then for her trained since birth combat skills. Sorry folks, but this battle is obviously going to go in Aeryn's favor. Plus, she looks the best in leather.


Aon Scail writes:

In hand to hand, Aeryn Sun was trained almost since birth to be the best of the best. She is also a top-notch pilot. Ivanova did create a legend that lived a thousand years into her future, but more for her presence than her combat abilities. Quite frankly, Kira Nerys is out of her league with both Ivanova and Sun. In the end, though, Aeryn Sun is the tried and tested best-of-the-best soldier who recently learned how to choose her own battles. She is now *incredibly* dangerous, and can defeat the other two easily.


Morgoth d'Bellatoria writes:

Although I like the other two, I just gotta say that Colonel Kira will open up the Orb of Whuppass on Ivanova and Aerun Sun.

For example, Kira grew up on a conquered world and was trained for years in commando tactics. All she did from the age of seven up to the end of the Occupation was kill Cardassians. She has gotten hard core from this.

Ivanova may be a bad ass Starfury pilot, but I never saw her chase down some punk in the Zocolo and fire that PPG (that was Garibaldi's job). I don't think she's got the commando vibe going down like Kira and Aeryn.

Now the fight between Kira and Aeryn will be something to see. Two hard core military types going at it. Aeryn is a lot like Kira in that she has been a fighter for most of her life. Basically I think that Kira has got the advantage in that she is not a trained soldier and has that flexibility like a terrorist.

Tenacity is the edge that Kira has. Just like a Pit Bull fighting anything larger, she ain't going to give up.

Although realistically the three would likely end up swapping war stories instead of fighting.


Calicia writes:

Kira's been fighting older, stronger, experienced soldiers who had better weapons since she was 12. She's one of the two survivors of her resistance cell, and she's one tough girl. She beats up Cardassians on general principle if she can get away with, she can take on a Klingon and survive, she can take on a *Jem'Hadar* and survive, and she's extremely resourceful. Experience, guts, and resourcefulness are going to be major factors here, and Kira Nerys has all three in unfairly-high quantities. There's no way Aeryn or Ivanova could top her.


CrowScape writes:

How onesided a battle can you get? Aeryn Sun is going to own this battle. She's born and bred to kill, a member of the kick-ass Pleisar regiment, the Peacekeepers most formidable infantry group. Meanwhile, Kira's been hobnobbing with the Federation, the most pathetic, ill advised military force in known scifi. How's she ever going to stand a chance against this Raven Haired Goddess? Then you have Ivanova, who, for all her strong points and formidable stature, has never really held her own in a battle. Generally, when a fight breaks out you're find her hollering into her comm for reinforcements and to get secutrity down there on the double. Now, if you placed Aeryn in a Prowler and Ivanova in a Starfurry, you'd have a good fight. But hand to hand? Winner: Aeryn Sun.


Namtar 2.0 writes:

Aeryn versus those wimps? Ha! The Punisher vs. France was a fairer battle! Can you picture either of them standing a chance in Hazmana? Let's look at Ivanova: I am an avid fan of Babylon 5, but her? Win a fight? Please! She couldn't even stick around for the final season, not to mention her various other problems. Why even consider her? Now, let's look at Kira. Kira was a terrorist setting off a few bombs and throwing some dren at a couple of Cardassians. Meanwhile Aeryn has spent her entire life, since *birth* becoming tough and slaughtering all inferior species as a Peacekeeper! Does Kira, who's softened from Starfleet, stand a chance? No! Aeryn was a very eager Peacekeeper (going in for a 2nd barrage at Moya in the Premiere when the order was given to withdraw), has killed hundreds during her tour as a Peacekeeper, and is generally unstoppable! Her only weakness is heat, as Sebaceans lack the glands for regulating heat, and end up going into a coma called The Living Death with *prolongued* exposure to extreme heat. Waht use is this for Kira? They're on a frelling crippled ship, with life support draining, it's likely cold as vacuum-preserved dren in there! On the other hand, Sebaceans possess a much higher pH tolernace than humans, and Bajorans have shown no talent in this area. Aeryn is a survivor. She's unstoppable. Hazmana, she even hurt me once, and I've almsot attained godlike perfection, am completely evil, possess SUPERIOR intelligence, very powerful telepathy and telekinesis, and can reform my body fiber by fiber after Aeryn Sun blasted my chest out with a pulse cannon. Cam Kira do any of this? NO! She's chopped mellet! But I am confident Aeryn will give her her life. She will make her WATCH her life (For you unelite non-Scapers, in the memory-extracting Aurora Chair, which causes excruciating pain and has been known to kill those who are subjected to it for any period of time, unless extreme caution is taken)!!!!! Oh, yeah. One more thing. FARSCAPE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!

Namtar 2.0

Member of American Mensa

Delvian Liberation Movement: Emissary of Nature

Friends and Defenders of Pilot: Defender of DRDs

True Blue: Guardian of Dreams

Society Against Cruelty to Crichton: Defender and Mender of Crichton's Mind


Cyndi writes:

My alter ego told you people that Aeryn would kick a$$! Why wouldn't you listen to her? *evil laugh* This is great! lol Hey don't get me wrong...I like the other two...but come on...get serious...Aeryn kicks a$$!


SilentWatcher writes:

Okay, I gotta go with Damien here. Both DS9 and B5 have had long (and fun) seasons full of adventure. But those days are over. Farscape however is still alive and kicking with

A)More varied and better sets than B5

B)Better graphics than DS9

(Plus have you seen Zahn!?! OY GIVALT! THAT IS ONE HOT SPACE CHICK!)


Deanine writes:

This is a tough one... But it's obvious that Aeryn would win in a simple climate controlled fight. She is a commando (can you say Terminator). But all it would take to tip the scales would be soeone discovering a Sebacian's weakness for high temperatures. Bye, bye, victory and hello living death. Between Ivonava and Kira? I'm going with Kira. She spent years in a resistance movement. She has the experience.


The Animator writes:

Kira--comes from Star Trek. She's going down.

Ivanova--Commands a warship in the B5 universe. Has lead fleets into battle. And she's already won a Three Way Dance in the WWWF.

Aeryn--From Farscape. Sure, Farscape is still being produced, but it's shown of Sci-Fi channel. The same Channel that canceled Sliders and MST3K for no apparant reason. She'll put up a valiant fight, but eventually the will be overcome with dispair as she realizes the hopelessness of her situation.


The Aratar of Valaquenta.com writes:

Kira is a woman to be respected. She has been hardened by years in the Bajoran Resistance and has later had her skills honed by the Federation, as well as being a part of several, very large and violent conflicts. However, the role of the Federation is peace and Kira's long association with them, as well as her position on a station which caters to hundreds of different lifeforms, has combined to turn her into a skilled administrator whose first choice must always be towards mediation and peace.

Ivanova is also a woman to be respected. Earth Force faced a grave challenge in the Mimbari War and later in the Shadow War. Like all of Earth's Warriors, Ivanova is a skilled fighter who would never back down from a fight if her only choice were fight or die. Like Kira, though, this Second-In-Command of a melting-pot space station has had to spend years as a mediator, trying to keep many different, often hostile factions, from anhilitating each other. Like Kira she must be a commander first and a warrior second, placing the needs of all those beneath her before her own interests and desires.

Aeryn Sun, unlike the other two women, has never been a commander of anything other than commando forces. She has never had to be a unifier of diversity, having served in the isolation of the Peace Keepers. She has never had to curb her instinct to frag her enemies in order to serve the "greater good". Unlike the others she is not sitting in a position of comfort and security, nor does she have the resources of mighty powers supporting her and surrounding her in layers of armor and energy. Every day is a new fight for survival against strange forces and maniacal pursuers. Where others have grown soft, Sun has been honed like a knife blade which is run over the whetstone over and over again. She is in her prime. Furthermore, she is pissed off. Wouldn't you be, living with Rigel? While the other two seek a peaceful solution Aeryn will frag them and then hightail it back to Moia before the Peace Keepers catch up with her.

Aeryn Sun in 1 minute 56 seconds.


Jasper writes:

There is no way in hell that Aeryn cannot win this fight. I mean, just look at the pics you guys chose for their "publicity." You have Ivanova in her little priss pose, and then there's Kira, who couldn't look any wimpier. Then, you have Aeryn. Can you say "bad a$$?" I know you can. How can a woman with a fearful snarl and a gun pointed at your head possibly lose against those others. It's no contest. As a devoted Scaper, I say let the best (and only) Peacekeeper win. Aeryn all the way!


MisterSilverback writes:

You remember that fast-as-lightning-graceful-as-a-swan-in-flight Neck twist that Worf used to kill one of the Weyouns while he and Dax were in Dominion/Breen captivity?

Friday, from the Heinlein novel of the same name, could do that to all three of these candidates, and then break for a snack.


ezikiel writes:

Aeryn has the advantage here due to the fact that her solution to any problem is kill, blow up and basicaly destroy anything that gets in her way. Kira would have to chech with starfleet regulation before taking any action and that could take up to a whole series before a decision is made. Anyway it will probably be try and make friends. Ivanova will put up a better fight but without a starfury to back her up, she's as dead as a shadow.


the dude writes:

She may not be the favorite but, putting up with all the twisting B.S. that is the scripts of poxy babylon 5, Ivanova was the only person who left with any dignity,also kira has been around the fu**ing sisko so long she has turned into a, however horny, turkey making it with a git big pile o jello is just wrong in my book, I dont care how early you can get out of makeup with that,(sarcastic tone required)realy realy good alien nose, the bejorans are so great I love them. So I have changes my mind Farscape bird will dominate,and cleans the scifi world of the poogas that is the other birds story lines and faces

THE BATTLE

JUSTICAR:   Always on the cutting edge and doing their homework too!! - Well...back to Ivonova, she appears to be looking up in surprise from her position in the well of an engineering node. She utters a few choice words!! Now she's diving madly for cover. Yellow phaser fire crashes down from a overhanging balcony. Its Kira...

DAMIEN:   ...and she's got a mad on tonight! But Susan isn't one to stay pinned down for long, she's taken up a defensive postion using a desk, and her PPG is ablaze with return fire.

JUSTICAR:   Woah, the door near Kira just exploded! Its Aeryn and she's laying out her pulse rifle ready to blast Nerys into the Delta Quadrant. They must be at about 20 meters apart on the balcony.

DAMIEN:   Kira raises her phaser, but to no avail as Aeryn blasts it out of her hands! She's extremley lucky there to have been disarmed without being disarmed. Kira is retreating from the balcony. Aeryn pursues, but not without taking some pot shots at Susan to keep her down.

JUSTICAR:   Ouch! Kira's hand was nearly turned into a bloody stump. She's taking definite evasive action and is beating feet down a adjoing corridor.

DAMIEN:   Ya know, seeing stuff like that happen really makes this job worth while. Anyways, it seems that Kira has managed to get Aeryn off her tail, at least for a while. She's hiding out in the ship's mess hall.

JUSTICAR:   Ivanova is taking a breather down in the engineering node. She's quite amused by what transpired above. With no shot at either she seems to be fiddling with a circuit panel or sumthin - - Well, let's get a little insight into the battle hardened minds of these ladies. Live via satellite its...um... Britney Spears? I thought we booked...

BRITNEY:   *giggle* hi-ee, my agent booked me ahead of...

BELLOWING VOICE:   DOOM WILL HAVE NONE OF THIS EFFRONTERY!!! (Doom forces his gauntleted fist through the space formerly occupied by the late Ms. Spears...)

COMPUTER:   FATALITY !!!!

JUSTICAR:   *fails Con. check* Uggh...Callisto set that one up, not me... mothers send your letters to her. Let's just get back to the battle. Kira seems to have stumbled upon a nurse's station. After spraying some Bactine on her charred hand she finds a bottle of alcahol. She quickly adds some paper towels to the bottle. Moving out of the room she doubles back to an empty engineering node and grabs a small acetylene cutting tool. Molotov Cocktail in hand she seeks out Aeryn.

DAMIEN:   Kira is patiently staking out the only entrance to the mess. Meanwhile, out remote cameras show that Aeryn is in fact on the same deck, doing a slow, systematic search of each room. Should be a matter of time before she reaches the mess hall...

JUSTICAR:   OK Damien I don't want to be called a pervert here, but my keen senses have noticed some sweet sweat on Nana's err Kira's hot Bajoran body... *dunks head in some icewater* Normally she's a bit more collected than that. What gives? Well D, I'll let you ponder that. I've, hopefuuly, got another guest to opine her...oh man ...onscreen? what the f...?

REGIS PHILBIN:   What can I say...I am...The MAN! now! So I will tell YOU who wins.

JUSTICAR:   Regis?...err don't you mention 'final answer' *sweatdrop* OK...who wins...

REGIS PHILBIN:   That Farscape Babe (tm)... we geezers at the home have been voting round the clock for her. She CAN'T lose because I, PHILBIN, SAID SO!! *chugs down a prune juice and crushes the can*... I'm out!!

DAMIEN:   Wow...and I though my interview with Superman was scary. Now then, let's ask the bots to review the droid tapes to see if we can figure out whats going on here.

JUSTICAR:   Well Damien our cambots have noted some Scotty school of Engineering activity from Ivanova. Can you elaborate?

DAMIEN:   Ivanova has managed to restore environmental controls to isolated parts of the ship, and she's wasted no time in cranking the heat up wherever she can. I see she's done her homework on Sebecean physiology, no doubt trying to bring on Heat Delerium for Ms. Sun.

JUSTICAR:   Well, the heat only seems to be functional in scattered areas of the ship. One such area is the mess hall where Kira had intended to bushwhack Aeryn. With the rising heat eminating from the room Aeryn is not proceeding further. Aeryn seems to sense something about the room.

DAMIEN:   hey, do you hear that? The audio sensor on our camera bot in the mess is detecting a mechanical drone from outside. From Kira's expression, I think she hears it too...

JUSTICAR:   A tone rising slowly in pitch. Kira suddenly sports the 'oh shit' look. She starts to move. **BAM** tk...tk..**BAM**. Twin explosions have just rocked the ship: Aeryn's overloading pulse rifle and Kira's molotov cocktail... DAMN YOU AERYN!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!! *Sigh* Oh well... I still have the Intendant to drool over... Aeryn's now confidently making her way back to where she believes Ivanova is still hiding.

DAMIEN:   Aeryn has reached main engineering, and she sees Ivanova hunched over a console. The commander whirls around, and she's holding a weapon of some sort, it's an inanimate carbon rod! What happened to her PPG?

JUSTICAR:   Let's look a little closer at the cambot assaigned to Ivanova. While working on the HVAC system of the frieghter she apparently used her PPG power cell to jump the circuitry. She's weaponless now too.

DAMIEN:   Quickly Ivanova grabs Aeryn from the side in a grappling manuever, she takes the Peacekeeper down hard with a side-Russian leg sweep. Could Ivanova be a closet wrasslin fan? We may never know, cuz Aeryn has already rolled back to her feet.

JUSTICAR:   Aeryn is cooly anticipating Ivanova's actions. With one swift kick Aeryn has knocked the carbon rod out of Ivanova's hands. Ivanova quickly lunges...

DAMIEN:   Aeryn moves in close now too, delivers a viscious knee strike to the lower ribs, but somehow Ivanova musters enough strength to block Aeryn's elbow from smashing her nose. She simply refuses to go down easily.

JUSTICAR:   Ivanova is attempting to reset her balance. Unfortunately Aeryn is a bit swifter on her feet. **CRACK** Susan is greeted with major kick to the kidney. **CRACK** Now Aeryn targeted the knee. She is hitting critical areas.

DAMIEN:   Ivanova has to get something going here.

JUSTICAR:   Ivanova is trying to get a few blows in. However she's been hobbled. She can't make anything connect. Aeryn cuts to the inside, swings with quick motion and nails Ivonova under the jaw. Ivanova is stumbling back a bit, that blow did a lot more it appeared to have done. Susan's collapsed to the ground. There's a pool of blood forming near her head.

DAMIEN:   Lesson time: That would be a Pen'tak jab, Justy. The Peacekeeper equivelant of a nerve pinch, it allows Aeryn to knock out her human costar with a single blow. And it seems to done the trick on Ivanova here today.

JUSTICAR:   Aeryn is walking away. She seems pretty confident that she is victorious. I guess people just don't get up from that funky little jab.

DAMIEN:   Holy spoo! Somehow Ivanova is rising to her feet, and boy does she look PISSED!

JUSTICAR:   I think that there's one thing perfectly clear about Commander Ivanova she has that never say die attitude. Her psi powers may have also coaxed her spirit to remain and not give up the ghost. She's up at full steam. She spits as she wipes the blood off her face. She's ready for another round.

DAMIEN:   Susan is beginning an angry Russian march towards her enemy. I don't think Aeryn can believe what her eyes are seeing.

JUSTICAR:   Ivanova is uttering something...

IVANOVA:   "I've faced down Death Gods, Old Ones, and beings with more fight in their dead rotting corpses than you do one your best day. You can't beat me... now get back over here bitch!!"

JUSTICAR:   Go kick her uppity puppies Susan!

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Kira: 469

Ivanova: 677

Aeryn: 1116

THE WRAP UP

DAMIEN:   Aeryn has suddenly composed herself, I think she's formulated a plan to confront this startling new development.

AERYN:   The frell with this!

DAMIEN:   Ouch, Aeryn just grabbed that carbon rod off the ground and lauched like a spear into Susan's chest! Thank God I don't think she didn't hit anything too vital, but I think Ivanova is down for good this time.

JUSTICAR:   Eee..yep stick a fork in'er. Where's them frickin Pitch Black aliens when you need them...grumble...grumble....

DAMIEN:   Well it seems that the upstart has managed to upset not one but two established franchises. A fluke, or a sign of things to come? We don't know, and we don't have time to find out, as we wrap it up for another action packed edition of CBUB. And special thanks this week to Victor Von Doom, Earth's greatest champion. So for Justicar, this D.B. signing off.

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

Babylon 5 (TM) is the property (c) of (?)

Star Trek (TM) is the property (c) of (Viacom / Paramount)

Farscape (TM) is the property (c) of (?)

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles