The CBUB Character Database

ISSUE #168

Shazam vs. Black Bolt

ISSUE #149

Dr. Doom vs. Magneto

ISSUE #152

Yogi & Boo-Boo vs. Chip 'n' Dale

ISSUE #141

Braveheart vs. Maximus

ISSUE #170

Jason Voorhees vs. Ash Williams


Mario vs. Sonic

ISSUE #125

Great Pumpkin vs. Jack Skellington


Shaggy vs. Dagwood vs. Jughead

ISSUE #153

Mum-Ra vs. Skeletor

ISSUE #158

Bond Girl Blowout


Green Arrow vs. Hawkeye


Smurfs vs. Snorks

ISSUE #107

Tom and Sylvester vs. Jerry and Tweety

ISSUE #109

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Black Widow and Silver Sable


Cheetarah vs. Harley Quinn


Keebler Elves vs. Krispy Elves

ISSUE #160

Wonder Woman vs. Thor

ISSUE #117

Kraven vs. Pokemon Island

ISSUE #177

Master Yoda vs. Professor Xavier

ISSUE #144

Kerrigan vs. Diablo


Scooby Doo Gang vs. Hellraiser


Boba Fett vs. Batman

ISSUE #150

Matrix vs. Crouching Tiger


Lex Luthor vs. Dr. Doom


Batman vs. Captain America


Supergirl vs. A-ko vs. Ryoko


Hulk vs. Doomsday vs. Juggernaut


Leisure Suit Larry vs. Austin Powers


Sailor Moon vs. Ranma 1/2


Taco Bell Chihuahua vs. Ren Hoek

ISSUE #132

The Punisher vs. France

ISSUE #169

Galactus vs. Galactus' Weight in Krypto the Super Dogs


Wolverine vs. Predator


Bugs Bunny vs. Mickey Mouse


Elvira vs. Vampirella


Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix


Men in Black vs. Marvin the Martian

ISSUE #161

G.I. Joe vs. S.H.I.E.L.D


Defiant vs. White Star


The Borg vs. Aliens

[ SBF ]


[ JF ]

Super Best Friends vs. Justice Friends



Tired of JLA vs. X-Men arguments? Sick of hearing about who could tromp who in fractions of a second? Need a breather from heavy contemplation about super-speed and the invincibility of Bat-God? Well, we have just the thing for you...

In this corner... from the world of South Park it's the Super Best Friends!

  • Jesus, with his amazing carpentry powers
  • Joseph Smith, with devastating ice breath
  • Mohammed, wielding flame
  • Buddha, with the power of invisibility
  • Krishna, with the power of transformation
  • Lao-Tsu, the mentalist
  • Sea-man, with the power to breathe underwater and link mentally with fish

And in this corner... from Dexter's Lab it's the Justice Friends

  • Major Glory, the All-American Hero
  • Valhallen, the Viking God of Rock
  • Living Bullet, the Earth�s fastest man
  • The Infraggable Krunk, with super strength
  • SamAreI, the amazing Japanese Warrior
  • Capital G, I pity da' foo' that mess with him
  • White Tiger, the agile, wiry fighter

Who has the best super powers? Who'll frag who first? Who cares? Yes, it's a lighthearted yet strangely apathetic forray into an Arena Death Match Challenge the likes of which you may not soon see again. At a time when irony loses its bite, only parody remains. Today we all know who our heroes are: airline passengers who sacrificed their lives to attack the terrorists on flight 93 over Pennsylvania and firefighters who died saving innocents in New York, among many others. A nation... a world... of Heroes to be read about in the newspapers, not the comic books. Join us now in a battle we had to call...

We Could Be Heroes (just for one day)



Dr. Gero:   Well, simpletons, here we are at the Khazan Stadium. The battle of the do-gooders. To be honest, I hope that they completely wipe each other out. Less heroes in Khazan means more villainy can be done! Mwahahahaha!

Dr. Wily:   Yes, well, according to my calculations, if the Super Best Friends are made of fire, then the Justice Friends should make themselves into water.

Dr. Gero:   That's righ...where did you go to mad scientist school?

Dr. Wily:   (hangs his head) Correspondence courses.

Dr. Gero:   That explains a lot. Well, there has been a lot of speculation on the outcome of this fight. Let's see what the community had to say on this fight.





Eddie Filth writes:

I came along and I see fights once again.Great to see the ball has ben picked up. Now,on with the fight.

While Justice Friends might have most overall power,the Super Best Freinds have some power and more. Keep in mind the the Super Best Freinds are important religous figures and therefore,call upon great divine power when needed.Even the most strongest of heroes can not take on such powers of the beyond. So my vote goes to the Super Best Freinds.

Two writes:

Frankly I gotta judge these two by challenges overcome. Jesus was crucified at least once and Sea-man is a seriously weak link. the Justice Friends are all big guns. All the super best friends have doen was stop a giant abe lincoln....the justice friends have, collectively or idividually, faced down dozens of foes. Besides, the justice friends have better writers. Justice FRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENDS....Assemble!

Peter writes:

Man, no way should the Super Best Friends be losing. I mean, heck, there's no way that team *could* lose - no matter how many times you obliterate their members, they'll just keep coming back from the dead to whoop even more ass.

Besides, they're from South Park, which wins instant coolness points as opposed to *giggle* Dexter's Laboratory. Go Super Best Friends!

Z-mage writes:

For one thing, you always gotta trust Dr. Wily. If there's one thing he knows, it's not to lump everyone together with the same powers, much like the Justice Friends do. Most of their powers are of too similiar a nature, using strength and fighting, unlike the Super Best Friends, with a wide variety of different attacks, such as ice and fire, in case one doesn't work.

And, of course, the Super Best Friends have the backing of most of the entire world.

AngelusJC writes:

Any group that can defeat the dreaded David Blaine cult and have a public access show while being religious icons who make fun of seaman will get my vote hands down.

The Mad Hatter writes:

Ok, enough of this anti-Jesus crap. It's time for the Carpenter's revenge. Jesus and the powerful religious leaders of the Super Best Friends put the Apocalyptic Smackdown on some horrible super-cliches.

Take a splash of sulfur here, and a dash of tidal waves there and VWA LAH! No more Justice Freaks. Badda Bing, Badda Boom.

Justy Hakubi writes:

It pleases me greatly to see the Justice Friends in the lead.

I support Major Glory and crew on several different planes of logic.

First off there is some emotional reasoning. I really can't stand South Park anymore. The show annoys me, bores me, it has just lived past its enjoyability. Crudeness and bathroom humor only goes so far. OTOH Dexter's Lab does not rely on that type of comedy. It is far more creative and generally more humorous. South Park had an edge ages ago, but it just sucks now.

Now let's look at the combatants. The so called religious icons are pale imitations of their true selves. I suppose that I am partial to Jesus in reality, but they all have their good points. However, we aren't dealing with the actual beings / people here. I ask you who kicks more ass: the Gene Hackman, Lex Luthor or the comic version? Look at the OAV Washu compared to the TV Washu, severely powered down. Same goes for the Super Best Friends.

One point on Jesus here. In the Gospels Jesus didn't take no BS from anyone. He wasn't a man of violence, but he wasn't the pale imitation portrayed in South Park.

Water Breathers suck, nuff said there.

OK, so why should I support the Justice Friends? Aren't they down graded as well. No. The Justice Friends are parodies, not attempts at mockery (which is what South Park has done). The Justice Friends have the speedster and the brick. I just don't see how the Super Best Friends can deal with just those guys. How many Flash vs. X scenarios does Flash win just because of speed? Now throw in the supporting cast to counter-act the abilities of the SBF and the winner is clear. I mean who is going to put down The Unfraggible Krunk? Perhaps the mentalist, so the Justice Friends whack him first. The defeat of the SBF is inevitible and for the best.

D.Merzel writes:

No contest

In one corner we have a group whose strongest powers are extreme pacifists. The Other side; Powerful yet largely ineffective against world eaters. Result: Have to go to the backups South park kids - They have a palpatine in training who (with cheesy poofs) could be convinced to join Dexters lab; Dexter himself with enough mecha to make

Gendo Ikari develop an inferority complex, Monkey Key Factor; DeeDee = Greatest force of destruction short of Mioshi.

Justice friends will triumph

Ghost writes:

Gee, this is a tough one. Let�s break it up and analyse it.

Jesus vs Major Glory = Dudes, he�s JESUS! He once killed a tree by screaming at it! He has the power of GOD!

Joseph Smith vs Valhallen = I�m going for Valhallen here, he�s just too cool to loose.

Mohammed vs Living Bullet = Mohammed has always been a loser. He�s going to get shot today.

Buddha vs The Infraggable Krunk = The Enlightened One is used to dealing with demons and has just too much mental powers for the purple guy to handle. Then again, Buddha�s a pacifist. Anyway, he�ll probably convince Krunk that fighting is bad for your Karma and win by default.

Krishna vs SamAreI = Wow, this is close, but while SamAreI might be trained in martial arts, Krishna INVENTED martial arts. That�s right, according to some Indian legends he was the one who thought Kalarippayatt to the humans, and Kalarippayatt is regarded to be one of the worlds oldest martial arts. Besides, this guy has been whuppin� demons for thousands of years! It�s like pitting Connor McLeod against King Arthur!

Lao-Tzu vs Capital G = Brains vs Attitude, eh? Well, I guess Lao takes this one.

Sea-Man vs White Tiger = Oh, come on! Do you know what happens when you put a fish up against a cat? That�s right, breakfast!


Brian Boitano vs Action Hank and Monkey = Nothing stops Brian Boitano. Nothing!


SBF = 4

JF = 4

Hmm, this is extremely close, but I foresee a Justice Friends victory here. Maybe they can win if they use the Justice Tornado, though they didn�t even manage to defeat a tiny bee with that, otherwise it�s looking dark. Another possible outcome could be that Monkey befriends Brian Boitano so that he uses his awesome powers to stop the fight. If Brian gets into a fight with Jesus, anything may happen.

Thanos6 writes:

Justice Friends all the way. South Park is a very very very overrated show, and it's 'heroes' are going down?

Besides, ya gotta love Val Halen.

Charge Man (God Bless America) writes:

The Justice Friends, on two completely separate occasions, were all defeated by ONE CHARACTER. Leave it to those cultist-bashin' Super Best Friends to take the day. At the end of the long battle, Jesus will stand up and say, "Major Glory - you speak boldly and your breath is minty fresh. For this, I salute you!"

Ivan writes:

"Hey Puppet Pal Mitch!"

"Yeah Puppet Pal Clem?"

"What do the Super Best Friends get when they try to take on the Justice Friends?"

"Is it... a Bonk on the head?"

"Yes it is. BONK!"

The Mighty Man-Dark writes:

Dude, where's Miss Pell? And why did you fail to mention Monkey, the most powerful superhero of ALL TIME? He's in the picture!

Demonicuss Krinn writes:

You gotta give it to the Justice Friends. Notice who's with them in the pic? That's right, it's Monkey! And nobody, and the Demon means Nobody beats Monkey. Period. End of Story.

the Catwoman writes:

Look at the facts the super best friends have caused millions of people to die for no reason what so ever (if you don't belive me look at the crusaids) their followers kill the opostion faster than Anna Nicole Smith's husband died!

P.S. Buddah could will them in to nonexistance with his supper Nurvana powers

Noman writes:

I can't believe this. Jesus and Krishna are both GODS (not the usual wimpy Gods, with the possible exception of Krishna who is an incarnation of Vishnu who like Jesus is part of a god-trinity but not as powerful), and Mohammed is considered right on par and possibly greater than Jesus by Muslims. Have Dexter's guys ever made a gigantic John Wilkes booth to kill the Lincoln Memorial? Have any of them ascended to heaven (Jesus, Mohammed and I think Krishna)? Do any of them have real x-ray glasses and divination powers (John Smith)? Have any of them discovered the basic forces of the entire universe and immortality (Lao-Tze)? One time, Jesus say a branch that had no fruit. He said it was not worthy to live and told it to die. It immediately died and withered away. According to him even his human disciples could move mountains and do basically anything with some of his power. Watch out for the Himalayas to come crashing down on those Justice fools. SPLAT!

Meltron the Invincible writes:

Justice Friends all the way.

First off, we have the RAGE�.

"Oh, but Meltron, no one on either side's gonna be enRAGE�d!"


Major Glory will be so enraged he could crap out Capitol Hill.


Well, everybody knows that America's a predominantly Christian nation.

He'll think (and know) that the Jesus of the Super Best Friends isn't the real Jesus. (I mean, he's a pushover, a wuss, AND all he has is carpentry powers? Come on! FAAAAAAaaaaaaake!

And then there's the BABE� factor.

"Meltron," you say, "there is no babe factor. And you're starting to annoy me."


Let's remember that the SBF are a bunch of gods and messiahs.

I never remember them letting a hottie get in the way of their mission.

JF is composed of straight white males.

They've obviously never, uh, been to that place with that someone to do that thing, if you catch my drift.

And they must be especially frustrated with that hottie on the superpowered simian's arm.

One look at... who is it? Krishna? (I don't watch South Park, so...) and all of them will jump all over her.

When the others try to pull them off her, they'll attack with the force of millions.

And then there's the fact that most of the SBF should actually be dead or aren't the real deal.

"Meltron," you say, "I'm tired of your arguments and I'm gonna kill you now!"

Wro- what did you say? Uh oh... *runs*

Deristasion writes:

Well Im not too into this fight but I got too say anything Southpark would kick the Crap out of anything from some lame ass Dextor cartoon.

The Dextor friends couldnt evan Kill Kenny.

DarthVegita writes:

Normally I would vote for the one with Jesus. You can't lose with the son of the one and only true God. But in this time of national crisis, I'm going for the team with Major Glory.

Stars and Stripes FOREVER!!!

Draco Starcloud writes:


The Justice Friends will win this before Billy Goat can eat Major's Glory's Once-a-Month, All-American Breakfast Buffet!

Devin writes:

Just seeing that South Park made this team makes me glad I stopped watching that show.

Sonic Duck 85 writes:

Since voting against Jesus in any context would be sacreligous, I would normally have no choice but to vote for the Super Best Friends. However, since I've been doing extensive research on my Biology term paper on Evolution, I have recently become agnostic, and no longer care of such trivial problems. Also, Dexter's Lab is a million times cooler than South Park. JUSTICE FRENZY!

Zog, the Secret Voice of the Monkey Underground writes:

Boy, I hope this goes to the right place...

Anyway, this fight actually occurred in a dream of mine last night. The world was finally under my thumb, and the Justice Friends were my Enforcers (secret Police, if you will) headed by Jenny Craig (don't ask...), while the Super Best Friends, representing the religions of Earth that I had repressed with the worship of the State, were the rebel force.

Now ordinarily, you'd think I wouldn't vote for the side headed by Jenny Craig, even if they are my enforcers of my Iron Fist of Monkeydom, but the leader of the Super Best Friends was...


Yes, the purple scourge. So, I maintain my grip on power and crush the defenders of freedom.

(like I said, don't ask. It was a WIERD dream)

He Who Cannot Be Named writes:

Well, I ahd to go with South Park, for if this sight has taught me anything, it's that SP is invincible, I mean they took out SNOOPY!!! Plus they have Jesus on their side...son of GOD people!!!

On the other hand, I do love the tribute...Valhallen...


Katrover Swatroad writes:

It seems to me that the SBF have no REAL offensive powers. On the other hand, all of the JF are #*$&whoopers on their own. So no contest here.

PS: The addition of Monkey(TM) into this fight would have made this match more lopsided than "Roll vs. Frost Walrus."

Jeff"T-Rex" Hayes writes:

What can I say I'm a big South Park fan. The Justice friends are as Ken Titus would say Wussies. The Super Best Friends will go through them like a Bran Pita through Osama Bin Laden!

the Catwoman writes:

Lets compare the combatants, and see who is superior, okay

Jesus: has caused countless millions to die for no reason what so ever (ie. the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition)!

Krishna: a Goddess! who is older than DIRT!!!

Lao-Tsu: the man who mastered nature!

Buddha: Who attained Nirvana, and WILLED THE GOD OF EVIL INTO NONEXISTENCE!!!

Mohammed: turned a group of nomads into the strongest fighting force the world had ever seen, who�s religion formed the largest empire since the Roman's

Sea-man: who�s crappy name gives him the RAGE tm.

And most dangerously Joseph Smith: anyone with a doorway knows how hard it is to get rid of Mormons. They just keep coming, and no mater what you do they wont leave! If the Super Best Friends have half the determination of the Mormon evangelists then the Justice Friends are dead!

The Animator writes:

It pains me to do this. Truely. I've been waiting for years for a chance to vote for Val Hallen... I mean, how can you not vote for a cross between Eddie Van Halen and Thor?! You can't! Its simply the coolest almagain in all of animation! And that's not even counting Mjoir--His Mighty Ax!

But sadly, he's fighting Jesus. You don't fight Jesus and walk away under your own power.

...And in what will be known as the Miracle of Cans and Smackdowns, the Son of Man shall open but one can of Whoop-Ass, and layeth down but one Smack, and it will be enough for all...

Beer Foam writes:

You'd think that a team with almost all of the world's head religious figures would have any fight won, except this is not the real world religious figures (who are, according to their believers "absolutely perfect") but their South Park reniditions. That means that they are more like their believers than their real selves, and therefore they are full of vanity and pride and can't afford to allow the other "heathen" religious figures to live as each one will think that S/He is the true God of the World. Therefore,they all get "beaten like red-headed four-year olds at K-mart" and the other team doesn't even have to lift a finger to help.

Mechazoid writes:

I have to go for the super best friends team on this one, the Justice friends are so wholesome that five minuits of the traditional south park profanity and the Sea-man innuendo is going to have the justice friends paralysed with shock

Predator writes:

Justice Friends have this in the bag! You wanna know why? I'll tell you why! It all comes down to two things.

1. The Clone theory: The Justice Friends share the same DNA gobblygook as the great superheroes. Krunk=Hulk, Valhallan=Thor, Major Glory=Superman/Captain America. These similarities will help the Justice Friends trounce their opposition in 0.0014892 seconds. 0.0014893 if they stop for a coffee break.

2. Product merchandising: South Park in nowhere NEAR the giant of inudstry it once was. Dexter's Laboratory, on the other hand, has been growing by leaps and bounds in the merchandising department. And we all know that the team with the better merchandise always takes the cake.

That as they say, gentleman, is that!

Metaphysician writes:

Two factors determine the course of this battle:

1. South Park Must Lose.

2. Divine Intervention. Because the Super Best Friends are parodies of religious figures, the Justice Friends can count on the support of every divinity in existence.

Thus, the Justice Friends win, easily.

Jace Von Varius writes:

Now, let me say this. Under normal circumstances, any team that involves the avatars of TWO GODS would get my vote. However, this is not the "drop some major plagues on yo sorry ass" god of the christians, this is the new "forgive thy fellow man" god.

Furthermore, I highly doubt South Park did justice to the Buddha. If this were the REAL Buddha, he would, quite simply, make Goku look like a pansy (and he's done it, too- read "The Journey West" sometime). However, this is the South Park Buddha.

In light of these facts, I'm going with the Justice friends, since they have a Viking God.

Of rock.

Just think about that for a minute. A viking god of rock. Now, Vikings are pretty violent. Viking gods are even more violent. And rock stars are REALLY violent. All rolled into one? It'll cause serious pain.

Besides, "Viking God of Rock" just sounds cool.




Dr. Wily:   Well, there you have it. This should be as interesting as building a wooden robot.

Dr. Gero:   Please, just stop talking.

Dr. Wily:   Ok.

Dr. Gero:   Anyway, the combatants have entered the arena. They are each in a huddle, discussing possible strategies.

Dr. Wily:   The SBF are keeping their eyes on Major Glory and Living Bullet.

Bell:   *Ding*

Dr. Gero:   That's the bell. Living Bullet has blasted out of the JF corner as many had expected. He's moving rapidly towards the SBF for what looks like a quick takedown.

Dr. Wily:   Joseph Smith has stepped to the front of the SBF and letting loose with a cloud of ice breath. Incredible! Living Bullet has been frozen solid. The SBF wisely decided to take out the speedster factor early to buy them some time.

Dr. Gero:   The JF has fanned out and are picking their opponents.

Dr. Wily:   Buddha has gone invisible and is making sneak attacks against SamRI.

Dr. Gero:   Seaman is running quickly away from White Tiger, who looks like he wants to make a snack out of Swallow.

Dr. Wily:   Major Glory is trying to use heat vision to melt Living Bullet's ice cage but he just got grabbed out of the air by Krunk! What's going on?

Dr. Gero:   Just look at Lao-Tsu, Wily. He is concentrating on Krunk. You can almost see the veins popping out of his forehead. He has mentally shut down Krunk and using him as a deadly puppet against Major Glory.

Dr. Wily:   Major Glory is on the defensive now. He's trying not to hurt Krunk, but the rampaging giant just keeps coming.

Dr. Gero:   Meanwhile, Capital G has increased to his maximum size. Krishna is keeping him busy by transforming into a bird and circling the giant hero. Capital G is swatting at him like a fly, but he just can't hit the Hindu deity.

Dr. Wily:   White Tiger has knocked out Seaman, and Good Lord, he's eaten Swallow.

Dr. Gero:   Oh, the humanity...or something. Val Hallen is being kept busy by dodging Mohammed's fire blasts and Joseph Smith's ice breath.

Dr. Wily:   Jesus has turned SamRI's sword into a loaf of bread. Now Buddha has even an easier time attacking the now defenseless warrior.

Dr. Gero:   Well, that leaves five Justice Friends and six Super Best Friends, and the battle rages on. Krishna has just been slapped out of the air by Capital G. He's unconscious on the ground now. Capital G is going to help out the currently engaged Major Glory.

Dr. Wily:   Val Hallen is flying toward Living Bullet in a surprise move. Mohammed is still laying on the flame blasts quicker and heavier than before.

Dr. Gero:   What's this? Val Hallen has lead Mohammed into hitting the block of ice containing Living Bullet. He's used Mohammed's intense heat attacks to his advantage.

Dr. Wily:   Living Bullet has been freed and he has just sped towards Lao-Tsu.

Dr. Gero:   Lao-Tsu has lost his concentration in an effort to dodge out of the way of LB. Krunk has stopped his barrage of punches against Major Glory.

Krunk:   Old Man make me hurt Flag Man. Old Man make Krunk angry!

Dr. Wily:   Now Lao-Tsu is taking a vicious beating from the Infraggable Krunk.

Dr. Gero:   Major Glory looks relieved. White Tiger has used his incredible sense of smell to detect the invisible Buddha and has taken Buddha out with a flurry of claw attacks.

Dr. Wily:   Jesus is trying to reason with Major Glory, but the All-American won't have it. He's knocked the Son of God out cold with his super strength.

Dr. Gero:   Val Hallen has turned this fight around, Wily. The Viking god's guitar riffs are too much for Joseph Smith to bear. The Mormon Prophet has fell unconscious. Looks like his nose is bleeding.

Dr. Wily:   Mohammed is the last of the SBF standing. He has his work cut out for him.

Dr. Gero:   He's surrounded himself in a globe of flame to keep Living Bullet and the others at arms reach and is trying to think of a plan.

Dr. Wily:   It looks as though he is talking to Moses on his wrist communicator.

Mohammed:   Moses, I need help. What can I do?

Moses:   I... I've got nothing. Sorry.

Dr. Gero:   Mohammed knows when he's beat. He's lowered the globe of flame and has raised a white flag. This match is over.




'Nuff Said!


Super Best Friends: 474

Justice Friends: 540




Dr. Wily:   That certainly was a close one.

Dr. Gero:   It makes my android heart glad to see some heroes getting the crap beat out of them.

Dr. Wily:   Thank you for coming out, everyone.

Dr. Gero:   Don't be nice to the rabble. They'll expect us all to do it.


[The Comic Book Universe Battles]


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