THE SCENARIO

Here is the question.

It's very simple.

Which one of these two evil houses would be the first to take out all nine members of the Brady family?

Yes, the Brady's can be resourceful... But these two houses are seriously dysfunctional, as well as homicidal, and they don't like happy endings.

The floor boards fly in a contest we like to call...

Halloween '97 fights

Fight suggested by Spencer Sznejkowski (that's a mouthful!)

THE SPORTS BOX

PAT: Hello and Welcome! I'm Pat Summers. We are here in the sportsbox where Jay and I each have some sort of alternate-dimension scrying pool kind of set-up so we may view today's battle.

JAY: The reception's a little murky, but better than being in the houses ourselves. Hello, I'm Jay peoples. I will be following the Brady's of one dimension as they enjoy the Amityville House...

PAT: And I am following their alternate-dimension progress at the Overlook. Mike Brady took on a job as caretaker for the winter, and we are one month into their stay.

JAY: Meanwhile, In my dimension, the Brady family has lived in the Amity house for about a week... and what a week! Mike Brady is attempting to re-decorate the place.

PAT: This could get mean quick. Now let's get some viewer response.

YOUR OPINIONS

bobafett_2002 writes:

The Overlook would win!!! I mean it has axe murderers and man eating topiaries, what does the Amityville house have, some wimpy lamp!!!

Eddie writes:

Anytime you live in a house where your husband or daddy happens to be the Joker in another life, you are GUARANTEED to become one, big, HAPPY family.

Sic the Overlook on 'em...and then sit back and relax as you watch the Brady's "go with a smile."

Pablo Goldman writes:

The Brady's started it by Mr. Brady redesigning the house to crappy 70's style. The house has a right to be pissed!

First the houses would posses Alice the maid and she would then stuff the 2 youngest Brady's into the oven and serv them up for dessert. The remaining kids would be eliminated by "tripping" over their platform shoes (you know they had 'em) on the hostile carpets.

The House writes:

This will be the most Bloodiest battle ever!!!! (Hope u bring a sick bag for it!)

Timothy Shanahan writes:

I just wanna know what the father would look like, chasing everyone with an axe, screaming "Heeere's Johnny!"

Joel Carpenter writes:

Basically, the Amityville House is based on a real building. As far as I know, the Overlook hotel isn't. Therefore, Amityville has experience in real life.

Eric Anderson writes:

Although the Amityville House is More EVIL than Overlook Hotel, we should not over look the shear size of the Overlook Hotel. With all 8 Brady's to kill, it should be easier to do it if they are forced to spread out.

I can see Jan is the most likely candidate for possession by Evil (Can't you see her with the Axe going after Marsha, calling out " All I ever hear is Marsha ! *Insert Axe swing here* Marsha !! *Insert Axe swing here* Marsha !!!! *Insert Axe swing here*

But the bigger question is- Would killing the Brady's be an act of Evil? OR are the Brady's the most evil force of all?

Ben Church writes:

I don't care who wins! The Brady's are finally gonna bite the big one! Yaaaayy!

The Bunyip writes:

Gosh, let's see... It's the Brady's, right? Then the answer is simple.

The Overlook Hotel depends entirely on psychological effects to generate horror - the most ferocious thing there was a MAN with an Axe, everything else was a mind game played by a bunch of annoying ghosts and a director too absorbed in being artistic to make any real sense. Since the Brady's are too clueless to be affected by psychological horrors ("Mom, that Dog suit looks neat! Can I have one like it?") it will be up to the REAL Demons in Amityville to take them out!

dollfin330 writes:

Amity House kix ass

IK writes:

It would take all nine Brady's at least 30 minutes, Maybe even a one hour special just to figure out that Red Rum is Murder backwards. By then the lovely Brady Family would be once and for all gone! YIPEE!!!

Kevin L. Wagner writes:

When looking at the Overlook Hotel, you only see a couple tragedies there. Jack's death and Grady's murder spree/suicide. However, when you look at the Amityville house, you have dozens upon dozens of deaths of anybody even remotely related to the house, making it the most dangerous and evil place on earth.

JEFF HAYES writes:

HEY IT IS THE AMITYVILLE ALL THE BLOODY WAY MAN. THAT WAS A REAL HAUNTED HOUSE. BESIDES STEPHEN KING IS A SCHLEMIEL

MonkeyQuinn writes:

Okay, so I haven't exactly seen the Amityville Horror yet... But hello, "RedRum"? That's all you need to know. those two little twins were freaky, too! And besides, if this little Amityville shack were scary enough anyway, I would have saw it. Please! I bet that's some little girls' playhouse where they drink tea and take care of their baby dolls!

Astropop70 writes:

Overlook gave me nightmares for weeks. Amityville gave me a nice nap.

Whit writes:

The Amityville house is on Long Island - talk about non-threatening. I'm sorry, I can't take a haunted house that's within eyeshot of "Burger King" seriously.

The Overlook is a without a doubt the more sinister. But I do have to say that the Brady Family is one of the few family units that could make it out alive. They're too clueless to be scared. Those evil twins? Cindy would want to play with them. Spooky old lady in room 217? Jan would drive her insane when she cranked up her hi-fi. Vicious Bartender? Alice would offer him meatloaf. The Bradys are the ultimate in human mental resilience. They cannot be stopped.

What's the Overlook do anyway? It can't kill anyone on its own. It can only unleash the repressed evil of those who visit, and get THEM to kill. Jack Nicholson is one thing...but how much repressed evil is there in Mike Brady? NONE. The worse thing he might do is wear cotton. Jan could become a serious threat, but her natural clumsiness will ensure that she hits her own foot with the axe instead of Marcia (damn!). The Bradys will have a scary time but will ultimately learn an important lesson from the experience.

SCRMAGAIN writes:

Amityville would take this nice wholesome family and destroy it in a heartbeat.

Mark W. Baker writes:

Who cares, just as long as they take out the Bradys (Evil, evil they are, we hates them forever)

Jimi Hendrix writes:

That Overlook Hotel will win the battle and slay the Brady's to a bloody pulp. they don't have a chance they should get out while they can or they will be Brady - kabobs.

THE BATTLE

JAY: Okay, I'm following the Amity House.. and, what's this? Greg is re-decorating the attic. Greg is throwing up love beads and plugging in Lava Lamps... and, he's cocking his head... he hears something...

PAT: Okay... meanwhile we have Mr. Brady in the Gold Room at the Overlook. He's having a Shasta root beer, sitting at the bar talking with Lloyd...

JAY: Greg is turning up his Quadraphonic Record Player... He has a pencil... Pat, he seems to be attempting to write a "Get Out" song.

PAT: Oh, sure, Jay... we all know Greg is the lyrical genius behind the Brady Singing group. I'm switching for a look on the youngest Brady's now...

JAY: Marsha has entered Greg's attic, chased in by a pack of flies... Oh no, Marsha has a look of evil in her eyes! I think we may have a possession here...

PAT: Wait Jay... I'm scrying Bobby and Cindy at the Overlook... and what a situation! They're chasing the Grady Twins down the hall!

JAY: Meanwhile... The possessed Marsha seems to be attempting to tempt Greg... She's whispering to him...

PAT: The Overlook is really going for broke here, now, Jay. I have Alice on the field... and she's got an industrial strength mop trying to clean-up the flow of blood from an elevator...

JAY: Greg has successfully been tempted!! Yes, these two Brady's are evil incarnate now! They're going downstairs, they're walking up to Mr. and Mrs. Brady... Yes... Yes... They are addressing their parents by their first names! The Horror!

PAT: Jay, The Overlook is faltering. It is attempting to use all of it's energies to go after the Brady's weak link... Jan.

JAY: Pat, the Amityville House is dripping ooze in sheer frustration! It's throwing things around... but the Brady's are working as a happy family unit... singing a song and cleaning it up!

PAT: Meanwhile, Jay... I think the Overlook has made some progress... Jan is reaching out to grab an axe... no, no, she's reaching out for a machete!... no, wait... she's going to get a ... Oh My GOD! Jan has picked up tweezers! The Horror!

JAY: Jay, the Amityville house is calling it quits on this one. The Brady's refuse to be driven out. The Amity is on the phone with it's agent trying to see if it can get work in "Poltergeist V".

PAT: Jay, this is AMAZING! This has never been seen in the Battle Circle before. As the Overlook hotel also calls it quits on the Brady's we are stuck with a Vote Tie!

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Amityville: 78

Overlook: 78

THE WRAP UP

PAT:That's a wrap! Guess this proves that the Brady's truly ARE the masters of evil here. This has been Pat Summers.

JAY: And Jay Peop... My God! It's Cousin Oliver! The Horror!!!!

Special Thanxs to: Overlook Hotel: The Shining

Special Thanxs to: The Amityville Horror

[Visit Current Battle]   [See Back Issues]
Other CBUB Fights
Issue #170 Jason Vorhees Vs. Ash Williams
Issue #103 Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate vs. CTHULHU
Issue #80 Scooby Doo Gang vs. Hellraiser
Issue #75 Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs. Blade

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

The Shining (TM) is the property of Steven King.

Amityville Horror (TM) is the property of (unknown)

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles