Note: the mail bag really poured over this fight. I guess that comes with having a fight go two weeks. It was tough sorting out the ones to print.
Favorite letter of the Week
Capone asked me to check the competition out.
Jabba is a weak slug, this will handicap him in the early stages, but he is used to handling an organization for 40+ years spanning across many worlds, a single city isn't even a challenge. Add to which Jabba's entire race is evolved to be crime lords, that means smarts, he's the best of the best race of gangster slugs, Jabba's hick cousin Billy-bob the hutt could probably win, his only weakness is putting gold bikinis on attractive females, but who wouldn't (dodges assassian from women's action groups). It took 7 rebels (including a jedi and a princess) to stop him.
Kingpin has strength which will give him an early lead and is used to competition, However a world for only 30 years pales in complexity to Jabba's galactic organization. He however can be foiled by a single superhero
As for pengie, one city is a problem for him and he doesn't have absolute control. Not used to other competition either he is stopped by one guy who is frankly batty. he'll make a dive for Jabba's snacks and get whomped by gamorrean body guards (are those legal?, Jabba doesn't care)
Welcome to the new Millenium and the Year of the Hutt
All right now this is a downright shame. I mean I didn't expect the Penguin to be winning but to be dead last with under a hundred votes! That's just a rotten shame. I always like the refined criminals, Jabba and the big K are anything but refined. I mean Mr. Cobblepot is an appreciator of the opera and a very successful entrepenuer in making the Iceberg Lounge. The only thing that you guys would say works against him is that he can cook and anyone who can cook must be french and frenchies always lose in this arena. (I have no idea why they do but it always happens)
Kingpin Wins. No way to say no to that. Jabba's a blob... can't move much and he's helpless without all of his guards and the little froggy things in the recessed bowl in his throne to eat. And the Penguin? Please. Zoanthropic psychopath with a frickin Swiss Army Umbrella? No. No one with only six fingers is going to win this.
Kingpin has the tech, the knowhow and the pure strength to win this. He's also the only truly diabolical one.
Jabba just sits there and laughs and stares and drools at frozen Han and then dies. He's not much of an attraction and probably holds the Guinness body odor record as well.
Penguin's a big nasty semi-aquatic half-bird human FREAK. He's not diabolical. He's just an angry little tuxedo stretched around a lump of malformed flab.
Kingpin's got it all. The deep voice, the diabolical plans that go deeper than just "Kill the hero" or "Get revenge on the bounty hunter." He has the pure evil runnin' through those nearly-clogged arteries of his. He will try to kill superheroes, will try to get revenge, but only if it fits in with everything else he's going for. World Domination folks. Big guys think big. The little guys... well, they just like having lackeys.
THIS IS NO CONTEST!
Capt. Zelnick writes:
I think that, in a realistic-ish mobster
fight, Jabba wouldn't have a chance. This has nothing to do with the whole Leia incident,(that does make him lose some of my respect though) it's just that the fact that he happens to look like a giant slug will really cut down on diplomacy and recruitment ("ain't no way i'm workin for THAT thing"). Putting that aside, he spends way, way, WAY too much on self pampering, food, entertainment, and pointless purchases. (Ooh, ooh, for only 50,000 dollars I can get one of my minor failed employee's friends so I can feed him to a worm!)
As for mister Cobblepot, from what I can tell, he's too much of a blatant criminal, the local cops would be all over his act like a pack of rabid wolves.
My vote goes for the Kingpin, he keeps a pretty decent facade of legitemacy, has proven capable of running a very large criminal organization without much trouble, is not regularly beaten by unarmed, unpowered bystanders, commands respect and, (when he dosen't have that downward tilted, low eyebrow, upward facing light under him expression on his face) looks more respectable than evil.
Also, the Kingpin stands up rather well against Spiderman, Daredevel, and some other people I don't remember. On the other hand, the Penguin is beaten on a regular basis by batman (no insult to Batman, it's just that Cobblepot is REGULARLY beaten up by him). As for Jabba, well, I said I wouldn't mention that.
The Bunyip writes:
Let Stephen King's "Stand By Me" call this one:
"Penguin and Kingpin are cartoons. Jabba's a REAL GUY"
The Toast Rider writes:
Hmm. Three crimelords. One leaves upright.
Okay, I'm sorry, Jabba the Muppet is first to go. This is an overweight, TMNT-style garden slug. Death by strangulation in Return of the Jedi was too good for him. Where was that fat guy Lucas originally cast to play him?
So it's Penguin vs Kingpin. Penguin's got the gadgets, sure. But Kingpin's bedeviled both Spider-Man and Daredevil on separate occasions. Kingpin also has something Penguin lacks: physical power. That's not fat lining Kingpin's frame, at least, not all of it -- that's -muscle-. He's VERY strong and a very good wrestler. Anybody capable of whipping Red Skull is more than a match for the criminal birdbrain called Penguin.
It only took one guy in spandex to take out the king pin and he even had super powers to help him. Now while I admire Batman because He's got guts I am going to have to go with Jabba because if you can have that much power in an entire galaxy and only be a slug with short stubby arms you got to know what you are doing plus Star Wars rules.
The AR Guy writes:
Ah... After an agonizing wait for the next installment of CBUB, it's back, and with quite the main event.
All things considered, I put my vote on The Kingpin. The pinguin is a write-off; small-time; one city; a nobody. Jabba may have a multi-planet crime syndicate running, but it took him over four-hundred years to create it, and then look who he hangs out with; the worst, most disloyal criminals and scum this side of M34. [That's a galaxy by the way.]
Kingpin counters the other contenders faults by kilometers. While Jabba has his fingers in major buisiness on several dozen planets, The kingpin has an invisible grip on every transaction taking place on this rock. No being in history has such a blanketing presence. Plus, Kingpin's henchmen are fanatically loyal to thier employer. So instead of turning tail, Fisk's associates would stand shoulder-to-shoulder against a threat.
Now here's the fun part; actual combat. If it was just the three of them, Fisk would mop up. Jabba can hardly move; Penguin' a looser with good taste [questionably], while Fisk is 300+ lbs of VERY solid muscle.
Hands down Fisk, 'Kingpin' is a veritable deffinition.
Well, this is one nice matchup. But, Jabba has the edge, not because he is a Star Wars character, but because he built a crime empire that spanned planets. So, Jabba has to be good enough to deal, wheedle, and con species on multiple planets, not just one planet. Kingpin and Penguin are both at the top of their game, but Jabba already mastered that game, and has moved on to a game that is infinitely more complex. After all, dealing with one species is complex enough with all the subtle differences, but dealing with hundreds of different speices, each with their own little foibles, and still managing to come on top, now that takes talent. Kingpin and Penguin are Bantha poodoo.
Justy Hakubi writes:
First off... we all give Serge a "HELL YEAH!!!" right freaking now!!!
OK... I had to vote Jabba regardless of the fact that a scantily clad Carrie Fisher snuffed him out. Jabba never was a studly man even when he was human. He was evil corruptive brainpower, a mastermind. Liea got lucky, or got a Force boost, bad case of PMS, something! She's nothing now... ya got that... she somewhere below Danny Bonnaduci yet way above Vannila Ice on the Hollywood roadkill list.
Now with all that being said why does Jabba win? He possesses a big fat jedi mind trick resistant brain.
You all have to realize that Jabba survived within the borders of the Empire. There was no liberal judges giving his minions a pass, no brooding sociopath bat-fetishists putting him in an asylum with a rotating door the size of the Mall of America. He knows how to corrupt the powers that be.
Day 1 - He sends Klaatu, Berata and Nikto to Serge's doorstep threatening to bust his knee-caps if Serge don't rig the Hypno-Helio Static Stasis vote - protection so his Warzie minions can vote more than once per day.
Day 2 - Hires the services of Matlock, Mason, Quincy and Fletcher to act as his legal dream team.
Day 3 - Crashes sail barges into Kingpins and Penguins 'secret' hideouts. Claims break malfunction.
You get the idea... He'll make a deal with Federal Government to rat out the other two. Have the Feds ever been to either of these towns? Federal Racketeering charges, tax evasion, anyone?? Taxes have always brought down mobsters. He's made deals the Empire, there's not much difference.
He was cozy with the Empire he could call in a few favors and have a Star Destroyer visit Khazan to help 'secure' the validity of the voting.
Jabba wins this faster than Kingpin can laugh at 'family-size' dinner.
Man that was fun...
Yay! you guys are back. Finally. I have been stopping by this page living off previous matches for way too long now.
Having Harley and Callisto as judges is a great call. They need to be around more often (maybe all the time).
Say, when are we going to see those two go one on one in the arena. Am I the only who wants that match? I don't think so.
Anyways, I looked at the results and saw Jabba winning. Jabba winning? How?
He got his oversized ass kiked by a skinny babe in a bikini. How the hell is he going to go two rounds with The Penduin let alone the Kingpin.
It's all those damn Star Wars fan boys. Get over it. Phantom Menace sucked!
Now, as a major DC fan I should go with Penguin. But I have no respect for the guy. When he tried to deal with Lex Luthor he got his ass kicked and half his mob executed before seeing how outclassed he is.
Kingpin wins by default.
Now if Luthor was here (and I do believe he is pulling a few strings here) then it would be a different matter.
Especially with Mercy backing him up.
I gotta go with the Penguin, since he's gone through hell and back to get where he's at now. From what I've read about Hutts, Jabba inherited his criminal empire, so he didn't have to work his way up so much. Kingpin, on the other hand, has been prosecuted and beaten by his arch-nemesis Daredevil many times before.
While Penguin was something of a joke early on in his career (The Silver Age), he has smoothed things over and become 10 times the shady operator he used to be. Hell, Batman has no choice but to put up with him and go to him for information when he needs it! Can Kingpin say the same for Daredevil?
You people can vote for the slug or the fat man. My money's on the man who can force Batman into a stalemate.
While all three of the opponents have the ability to manipulate events that has gotten them to their infamous positions, Kingpin is best known for his ability to thrown down with toughest of heroes and KICK-ASS. I am a BIG fan of Superheroes such as Spider-man, Daredevil and especially the Punisher but all three of these Mighty Marvel Super Heroes has had a Huge chunk of their ass handed to them by this king-size Kingpin. Has Jabba ever gone hand to hand with anyone besides Leia? Who knows? Who cares? If his last fight was with a half-naked woman well then maybe he liked sparring with teletubbies. The Penguin has gone toe-to-toe with Batman but has never really punched it out with him. He always relied on a gimmicked umbrella to save his bacon. I will leave it to your imagination as to where the Kingpin would shove that umbrella of his. To conclude, if it comes to hiring henchman Kingpin wins with his unending parade of costumed badguys. Penguin usually hires thugs and Jabba hires guys who get themselves eaten by a stationary opponent (sorry Bobba). When it comes to duking it out, no contest. Kingpin is a weight lifter of inhuman ability, a martial artist of above average ability and just plain MEAN. Both the Penguin and Jabba barely have the strength to get off the couch and as for fighting ability maybe they could sit on the Kingpin. The Kingpin, a clear winner.
Britannia Boy writes:
May I first of all say how glad I am that CBUB is back to full capacity. I was missing the fights!
Anyway, I think the Kingpin is the clear winner here. He is just plain tougher. Jabba and Penguin may be good but the Kingpin is that much better. Think about it, Kingpin took apart Daredevil's life. I have yet to see Batman get all freaked out over the Penguin, or Luke Skywalker have his whole life ruined by Jabba. Also, Kingpin appreciates "human resources". Unlike monsters who rely on guns, the Kingpin is smart enough to hire people with the right talents for the job. Jabba hires Gamorrean thugs and Penguin hires normal goons. Who does Kingpin hire? People like Bullseye, Elektra, Nitro, Ox, Deadpool, Hobgoblin, and other deadly superhuman killing machines. Also, the Kingpin deals with tougher competition. He has to contend with other mob bosses like Jimmy Six, Rose, Norman Osborn etc. Penguin and Jabba don't face that oppositon. Plus, Kingpin has survived more threats. He has had Spider-Man, Blood Rose, Daredevil, and other heroes and Mobsters after him. Penguin only has to worry about Batman. Jabba went down with the Rebel Alliance not even fully concentrated against him. Finally, although this shouldn't be a factor, Kingpin could whip the other two in a physical fight. Kinpin would win.
When it comes to Dons, Godfathers, Bosses and Capos...the main factor is juice, and who has the most of it.
Penguin: Let's get real. The guy looks like Mr. Peanut in an old age home. A few minutes after this guy shows up, that umbrella will have to be surgically removed from one of his body cavities.
Kingpin: Okay, so he's somewhat intimidating and has a nasty rep in Manhattan. But ask someone in Newark and they'll say he was named after a Woody Harrelson movie. Not enough prestige to win the chips on this one.
Jabba: Definitely a poster-boy for a StairMaster, but let's talk for a moment about this Hutt's assests, okay? Number one, he's got a galactic reputation. Two, his mind is keen enough to resist Jeddi tricks. Three, he can hire bounty hunters with access to interstellar travel. Four, with one lick, he satisfied Carrie Fisher more than Paul Simon ever could.
Matt Bricker writes:
If this city is at the center of all dimensions and realities, presumably the residents are unlike humans (or even each other). Jabba has the strong advantage of experience with such a novel, diverse population because he regularly works with (and against) people from scores of different cultures, whereas the Kingpin and the Penguin are familiar only with humans of Earth (well, okay, with birds too).
The Gent writes:
Jabba got his tail whupped big time in Return by a farmboy, a wookie, and a chick. Bleah if Harrison Ford is man enough to stand up to this slug, then dangit, so are Wilson and Oswald!!!(no offense Harrison. you rule)
Oswald here probably isn't on par with either of them....or rather would eb the apple to the others' oranges. Penguin is less a huge-scale crimeboss to me than he is an opportunist...he takes advantage of whatever arises, but he doesn't make them happen. But maybe that's me...besides, umbrellas? What, is he Jogn Steed's ugly stepbrother?
Wilson Fisk of course has his disadvantages. He's been deposed a couple of times, always however clawing his way back up to the top. Personally however, considering these guys' track records in the Goon and Win category I say it goes to Kingpin.
Kingpin has employed everyone from the hobgoblin to Bullseye to Elektra to Tombstone to appearantly Deadpool. He hires the best. The Penguin...well last I SAW, his main enforcer was Freeze. Top calibre but not enough. And Jabba is just sad in this category. What, he's got Bib Fortuna who mans the door, and Greedo, who's not even worth considering. Next time shoot first. Idiot.
Penguin's got it goin' on here as he pretty much rules gotham now...but that's it. NOW. His victory has lasted ummmm a year or so I think and he had the worst track record before that. Jabba got Han Solo, so props to the Load. You got game. But Wilson really owns in this department....I mean he's held the criminal underground of New Yawk in his pudgy grip for AGES, and of course, broke Daredevil.(I kno we're gonna hear this a lot, but he did!)
But basically we're dealign with three tubs here. And when the refferee throws a bag of Cheetos into the middle of the city and these three try to kill each other so they can eat it, Fisk here's got the edge on the alien and the short man. It's all muscle after all...all few hundred pounds of muscle. Oof.
Dark Queen writes:
Calisto and harley are IN DA HOUSE!!! Great to have the wonderful arena of Khazan back in action. Now, on to the fight.
Now, while I agree that it is pretty pathetic as to how Jabba died but here are the facts: Jabba has practically the whole darker side of the universe in the palm of his hand. Smuggleing, slavery, ruling the UNIVERSE! It is a sure bet that what ever is going down in the universe he has his mits in them. What have the penguin and Kingpin have? Yeah, they rule one planet or, a-hem, one city. Whoo-pee.
But, since we are sort of dealing with hand-to-hand like combat, ususally, then I guess it is a toss-up. The penguin has his funky umbrella's, Kingpin can carry a gun and Jabba, eh...er, well, aside from rolling on people (which the other two can do) Jabba's style is more like hiring bounty hunters or other mercernaries to do his dirty work. Duh, that's what a crime boss does. Where ever Jabba goes, you can surely bet that he has a henchman or two protecting his @ss. Boba Fett could show up for the right price if persuaded but if not him then someone else. Beside, according to the Star Wars universe, Hutts bodies have this extra layer of fat that allows blaster bolts and other harmful projectiles to protect them when they are shot at. Food for thought.
FINAL THOUGHT: Why are all these crime lords fat anyway? If they are so rich why don't they pay for liposuction, or the slim fast plan? Food for thought!
Yes yes,y'all,as the Sergeman returns so do I!Welcome back webmaster-friend and a Happy New Year to the CBUB crew.
Now let's rock on to the fight.
The Hutt is the head of a great far-reaching galactic criminal organization.He's got his hands(if he could reach for anything further than a centimetre away from his face *heh heh*) in the filthiest deals and the phattest tech.And yet there is something kinda powerless against him.He let Solo screw him around for quite a while.His oh so tough merc,Boba Fett,was used as a delivery boy rather than catching Han himself(and his ass-kick in RoTJ was so embarassing,I think I saw him window washing cornerstores cause he was further out of favour with Jabba than Jubilee ou of her depth in a fight with the Hulk).
Conclusion:An intergalactic lazy-boy who hires pathetic help.
Penguin:due to the events of No Man's Land,Penguin is on a greater rise than anyone,including him,can remember.He's also got the best nemesis here-The Batman.That's right,this guy has forced down Bruce Wayne.And I also find his real name charming.
Conclusion:he (hopefully) hires Deathstroke,who will manhandle just about any opposition(Bullseye would be problematic but in the long run...*evil smile*) or Cheshire(on her best day,she's just as good as Elektra) and cleans up.
Kingpin:Ah,Wilson Fisk.Currently,this guy is being written by David Mack.Mr.Mack has convinced me he's one of comics' top 10 writers in only 2 issues and his use of Kingpin has been great.Mr.Fisk is a genius with a talent for hiring the best killers around(Deadpool,Typhoid Mary,Bullseye,Elektra) and has corrupted Maya Lopez,Echo,towards killing Daredevil with the Cheesy Lie Plot Device (TM).And yet he always comes undone because he has Achilles' Heels wider than his fat ass.How such a master blackmailer who goes up against comics' third best street vigilante(Batman and Nightwing narrowly beat out Murdock) be blackmailed so easily himself?
Conclusion:Wide load leaves himself wide open.
Penguin takes it.Peace out!
Well, the Marvel Zombies are packing the box away as we speak... not surprising. In a world where the X-Men can "beat" the JLA, there will never be true justice.
However, here's why the Penguin should win:
** The Penguin survived a year in the No Man's Land as it's chief supplier of everything. No law, total anarchy, no civilized atmosphere to restrain his competition... and yet he triumphed. Even the Batman couldn't take him down, he had to work with him.
** People keep going on about Typhoid Mary and Bullseye. Have we checked the mercenary supervillain situation in Gotham and environs? Half the Arkham guys work for hire... Bullseye vs. Scarecrow? Bullseye in catatonic shock. Typhoid Mary vs. Clayface? Yeah, right, stab that.
Plus, there's always the ultimate gambit -- Penguin asks Catwoman if she could do him a little favor, like in recent CATWOMAN issues. Specifically, steal enough to disrupt his competition's operations. Given that Selina single-handedly shut down Lexcorp's Gotham reconstruction operations for two weeks -- up to and including stealing an entire construction site, building and all (don't ask!)... well, Kingpin will wake up to find out that the same woman who hacked the New York Stock Exchange for $500 million bucks just cleaned out his bank accounts worse than HYDRA ever did.
And that's not even assuming that he doesn't ask Blockbuster down Bludhaven way if he can rent Lady Vic for a couple days... (she does still free-lance occasionally).
Or, of course, there's always the big gun -- Deathstroke. He's a bit of a bite on the budget, but Pengy can always find several million if need be.
But the thing is this -- Penguin's normal day-to-day goons are just security guards because that's all he needs for his operations. He's more subtle than the other two. He doesn't do smash-and-grab, he doesn't even directly touch guns or drugs or smuggling. He arranges. He fixes. He's The Man Who Knows Everybody.
And he gets a percentage of everything and tons of money and never, ever does an illegal act himself. He's so clean, even Batman's getting frustrated... the Penguin's walking around free today not for lack of trying, but for lack of succeeding. You just can't arrest the man until and unless he actually does something illegal -- himself. And he doesn't. And yet he's still the biggest crime boss in Old Gotham, NML Gotham, and New Gotham.
Now that bespeaks some damn good moves.
Zisteau, the infinitely prolonged... writes:
Okay. We've got a bird that can't fly, a monarch that wrestles, and a big slug. Hrrrrm. I've seen those silly birds get snapped up by killer whales pretty darn quick, so if the Penguin can't take that kind of heat, hes out of his league here. Of course ChuckG will vote for him just because hes a Bat character. So we have a big fat guy from New York vs. a big fat guy from Tatooine. One struggles to control part of a city underground. The other is the head of a criminal organization that controls several worlds as well as has enslaved several races to do his bigging. Jabba all the way, no contest.
Truely got a heavy-weight battle going here. I'd have to go with Kingpin though I mean..look at the others..The Penguin is about as scary as my grandmother- oh no he's got flippers! Run! Then there's Jabba..sure he's big and scary..but the guy got himself offed by Carrie Fisher in a metal bikini...no self respecting mobster would allow a themselves to be killed like that. No..Kingy has taken on Spiderman, DareDevil and the X-men and still stayed on top and that's why he got my vote...though I do like watching that scene with Carrie *wolf whistle*
If they all are starting out with the same amount of resources, and the same amount of time, there is no way Kingpin can lose. He's got the technological know-how, the fighting expertise, and the drive to be the best . He's not afraid to sacrifice his own family, (he let his son go to jail while saying "Sacrifices must be made," and killed his own father so no one would know his true identity.) The man is not to be messed with.
He'll kick the little penguins butt all over the town, and then he'll have himself some king-sized escargo.
THE ANGRY MAN writes:
This should be an exceptionally interesting match. I have to go with the Kingpin on this, though. Jabba is the crime lord of Tatooine, which is the equivilent of being the crime lord of Bismark on Earth. The only reason the Penguin is a crime lord in Gotham is because psychos like Halloween, the Joker, and Two-Face keep killing off the real mob. He is sort of a place holder. The Kingpin has beat the Red Skull, and survived the ill-will of Loki. They other guys are gonna be sleeping with the fishes tonight.
Angry Net Surfer writes:
Gotta go with the Penguin on this one. He's much more of a threat to Batman than the Kingpin is to Spiderman. Besides, the Penguin was never choked to death by any of his female "companions" unlike a certain overweight slug....
Sorry, but I gotta say that Jabba the Hutt will kick Penguin's butt no problem. Kingpin will be tougher, but he'll go down as well. I mean, come on, any guy who's got the money and power to hire Boba Fett, and capture Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, along with Chewie, has got to win. Sure, the Jedi killed Jabba, but last time I checked, neither Penguin nor Kingpin have Jedi in their mobs. Finally decision: Jabba!
Starcloud of the Ewoks writes:
Close battle between Kingpin and Jabba, but Pengy's going down. BLEED AND DIE, PENGUIN! YUB! YUB!