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Galactus Vs. Galactus' Weight in Krypto the Superdogs
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THE SPORTS BOX
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It's one of those special moments when the Major Comic Companies(TM) decide to throw everybody who's anybody in
Superdom into some pocket dimension to fight each other for fun and profit over the course of a twelve issue Limited
Series (usually priced around $3.50 a pop).
Standing watch over Planet Earth in these times are the animal companions of the super heroes gone away...
The Legion of Super Pets. (What, you think I make this stuff up?)
It just so happens that, in this partucularly vulnerable time for Planet Earth, Galactus drops by for a lite snack.
Thinking fast, the Super Pets dredge up one of those wacky lost gizmos you know Superman keeps around in the Fortress of
Solitude basement (usually to save bad writers or to serve as Leifeldian plot hacks). This particular gizmo allows
Krypto to duplicate himself a vast number of times before the battle. And so... it's up to Superman's Dog to save the planet.
Callisto: LIVE from planet earth we have an amazing matchup for you today! In one corner... he's been called a Force of Nature by some, a villian by otheres. The devourer of worlds. The galloping gourmet of the spaceways... GALACTUS!
Harley Quinn: And inna other corner... He's small, he's furry... he rolls over but never plays dead. The most super of super puppy dogs... KRYPTO!
Callisto: It's all out excitement today, ladies and gentle men. Tremble as these two titans tussle toe-to-toe in today's tumultuous take-down!
Harley Quinn: Right! What she said!
Callisto: And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, lets turn it over to Miss Harlene Quinzelle, our own Clown Girl, who is LIVE in Winslow Arizona with the Mighty Galactus.
Harley Quinn: Thank you Callisto. Here we are with the dread purple one who has decided to eat the world from his landing site here in the deserts of Arizona - an area of the great North American desert. Lets see if we can get his attention to answer some questions. Yoo-Hoo! Mr. Galactus!
Callisto: ...
Harley Quinn: ...
Callisto: He seems uninterested in speaking to you Harley.
Harley Quinn: Yah, right. Hey, you, gimme that bullhorn. Thanks. OK, lesee.... Hey! Purple Pants! Why are you standing on a corner in Winslow Arizona?
GALACTUS: I'VE GOT SEVEN HERALDS ON MY MIND. FIVE THAT SEEK TO ESCAPE ME, TWO THAT REALLY HATE ME AND ONE SAYS SHE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.
Harley Quinn and Callisto: Taaake it Eaaasy! Taaaake it Eaaaaaasy!
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YOUR OPINIONS
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What the visitors to the site thought about this fight: |
praxisilver Writes:
Have you ever heard of the saying "strength in numbers"? Sure, Galactus could whoop ONE Krypto, but his weight in Kryptos is going to be considerably harder. Also, all those Kryptos are tiny compared to Galactus. That makes him harder to hit. Couple that with the fact that they all have super speed, and Galactus is going to be surrounded by thousands of dog-shaped blurs shooting heat vision at him. And heat vision isn't something to be laughed at, either. The Kryptos will win.
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Homer Simpson Writes:
NEEERRRRDDDDSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The Physics Smartass Writes:
Where does Galactus spend most of his time? Space. How much does he weigh in space? Nothing. How many dogs does that equal? Zip. How about next week we have Galactus vs. Galactus' MASS in Krypto the Superdogs?
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You think I'm kidding? Writes:
Wouldn't all those dogs be about the size of lice to Galactus? You think you could stand up to your weight in the crabs? Hm? Trust me, it's not easy.
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Skye Agony Writes:
Go doggies! Galactus: I hate you. I know you do. Anyway, I say the Krypto army wins because no one can beat the determination of a dog! When you tick one off, it's not gonna back down... Galactus: I still hate you. Oh, shut up.
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Nine Writes:
Galactus will win by devouring the super-dogs, but will soon develop the urge to chase his own tail.
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AtomicKitKat Writes:
Galactus wins. Kryptos hasn't been heard from in decades. If you think about it, Galactus could have been responsible for the destruction of Krypton itself. Well, in an alternate universe anyway. But if they existed within the same universe, Galactus could still have devoured some Kryptonite at some point. Whoo, Kryptonite breath! Anyway, going a little OT there. Think of Galactus as a building sized Galactic Vampire(tm) He doesn't need a planet, per se, he devours its LIFE. More importantly, its SENTIENT LIFE. Big G just uses the Power Cosmic(tm) to generate a lump of Kryptonite(doesn't even need to be big, Supes is so allergic to that crap a single molecule might do it for his dog) in his belly, opens his mouth, and downs more dogs than that Japanese hot dog eating champion. Eventually, Kryptos will run out of matter to generate clones with, at which point, DC fanboys will realise that the stupid mutt just basically SPOONFED Galactus(matter from Earth drawn into the device, generating all those clones, going into Galactus' mouth, nothing organic left on Earth) Okay, I'm just a little pissy that DC's heros mostly tend to be the "I can do anything in the world, except for one lame ass little weakness." Like 1/2 the Justice League. Hawkgirl, WW, Supes, GL, Bats, Flash, Martian Manhunter. Of the lot, only Bats and Flash don't have the whole "invulnerable to pretty much anything" crap. Of the "invulnerable to pretty much anything" crowd, Supes turns green from green rocks, GL is weak to Yellow Light(as well as being mortal without his Lantern Ring to protect his ass), WW is a puss when she's bound, and I have no idea what Hawkgirl and/or MM's weaknesses are. Yet they still get sometimes their asses handed to them by a certain bald businessman...
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Hyperstorm Writes:
I don't know why people act like Galactus is still some kind of top-tier force within the area of Marvel and DC comics. In most of what I have read his level of power and ability seemed pretty normal among super beings overall. I can think of about 10 characters in marvel comics alone that are more powerful and half of those characters wern't killed off by writers to keep the stories from getting too unbeleivible. I've never heard anyone argue with me against Superman being among the most powerful super powered characters within the realm of Marvel and DC comics. Even a dog with his powers is a major force and there would most likely be more than half a dozen of these dogs.
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Lord X-spider Writes:
Galactus will see the superdogs and the big G will say... "I�ve always wondered what hot dogs taste like." Ok that joke sucks. I don�t know what made me write it. Maybe it�s the fact that some pepole think that a buch of dogs, however super they may be, can stand up to THE MIGHTY GALACTUS!!!!!!!!!!
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almightygalactus Writes:
The mere thought of this battle intrigues me. I sit here and ask myself, who in there right mind would think that a bunch of d@mn muts could stand up to the awesome power that is Galactus. He who was named a force of nature by Odin. Brother to Eternity, the embodiment of the entire universe. Brother to Death, the one force in the which no one can resist. One to one million. Poochie the butt munchin' dog is going to be blown straight to Mephisto's realm. End of story.
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Jonathan Richards Writes:
The dogs would win. There are just too many dogs with powers similar to superman's fighting Galactus and from what I've seen in Marvel comics, Galactus' limitations come short of a situation like that.
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Katrover Swatroad Writes:
Y'know, this reminds me heavily of the "Rottweiler vs. Rottweiler's weight in Chihuahuas" match over at Grudge Match. You guys aren't that devoid of ideas, are you?! If so, stop stealing from Steve and Brian. You guys can do better than that! It's not because that I like DC more than Marvel. It's because Krypto's SOOOOOO CUTE! Forgive my instincts, dogs are much, much charismatic than ultra-giantic planet-eating theats.
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Jon Writes:
I must admit I don't know much about these animals, though I am pretty confident that Galactus is going to as well fed as a Chinese man after eating out.
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Grunge Writes:
Well, Galactus can eat planets, but Krypto, (being the canine version of Supes) can, potentionally eat suns, and I think a sun has far more power than a mere planet. However, Galactus can whoop the collective @$$ of the Fan 4 and the Silver Surfer, plus, he can beat Ego, who is essentialy a liveing planet, finaly, Krypto may have the BIG S(tm), but if one man/thing/cosmic titan can beat the S then it is Galactus, all hail the Devourer of Worlds! All hail the mighty Galactus!!! Flee mere mortals for he is... Uh.... I run out of pluadits, ah hell GO BIG G!!!!
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Agent D Writes:
Galactus has this fight in the bag. It could be a whole planet of Kryptos and it still wouldn't make a difference. I hope that there is a Galactus size hot dog bun because he is going to chow down on those Kryptos.
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Nick the Critick Writes:
okok....this is difficult...ya can't just blow this off...here we have the one being that has the endurance to survive the uber-powerful Big Bang (ain't talkin about the Dragonball Z one....i'm talking about the dawning of the universe) and who has been able to manifest the greatest energy in the universe...not only that but he learned how to use it so easily that he shares it with people....he SHARES the greatest energy.....LIKE ITS FRICKIN SHOW-AND-TELL OR SOMETHING!!...but still, even with the mindblowing need to be in the universe, he faces superdog, Krypto....despite the dozens of different types of super beings such as (ahem) Superboy, Steel, Cyborg Hank, Underworld Supes (remember the one that loved to kill people?)Supergirl,Blue, Red, Pre-crisis, Post-crisis,Dark Kingdom,Superman Prime, Supercat, superhorse, superfrog,superbadger, Superman Vanilla with the new mild taste.....its exhausting to keep track of how many times he can live and survive....but enoghh of this ranting....lets come to this....Krypto is more or less superman as a dog...imagine the annoying persistaence and not being able to die.....in a dog's body....i will give galactus credit....at first he'll swat away at LEAST a couple hundred tons worth of kryptos with this unbelievably humongous hands and maybe even destroy some with the powers cosmic...but there are power in numbers, just as seen in the Fantastic Four.....if this planet eater can't get rid of the Flame,Invisible Woman,Plastic Man and a big rock....what makes you think he can take on the living legend...well as a dog anyways..or even think about it like this..what do you think he'll be able to do if they attack from all sides..or if all of them use one particular power in unison ....millions of dogs breathing ice all at once....now they won't kill galactus.....he has an eerie need to live in the universe, just in case we need some cross-overs.... but in the end the HyperLassie will win...
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El Kabong Writes:
Ya gotta have one thing if yer thinkin' of turning back the Devourer: Smarts. Offer him a herald, wave an Ultimate Nullifier in his face, trick him into eating some other planet...well, I haven't seen anything that suggests that the mutts have that kinda resourcefulness. But that first option just might be the way to go: the mutt's gotta lot of raw power for what I've seen, and Galactus might trade off that power in exchange for sparin' the planet. Thus, Krypto becomes Galactus' new herald, the Silver Spaniel, and Galactus becomes frustrated because the dog keeps leading him to planets that smell like bacon.
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deathstar461 Writes:
Galactus is all powerfull, we all know that, but we also know that he can be worn down... If he doesnt get his daily dose of planetary energy, he gets weaker and weaker... Galactus has the initial advantage, but eventualy, and it may take a couple of days, all those Kryptos are bound to wear him out. One Krypto would be no contest, but Millions of Kryptos? Even Galactus has his limits. I give the odds 80-20 in the Kryptos favor
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SimbasGuard Writes:
I just don't think Galactus could beat an army of Kryptos
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marveldragon Writes:
any one person can battle a dog and win with or with out superpowers.so i think the planet eater will take it not the planet sitter
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livingdead042000 Writes:
The big guy is as big as a building and the dog is as big as...well a dog. The dog, even if there is a million of the things will not be able to open their mouths wide enough to get through the big guys clothing, let alone his skin. It would be like a normal man against an anthill. The ants may be able to bite you but ultimately the man stomps the ants to death. The dogs don't stand a chance, superpowers or no superpowers.
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The Red Fear Writes:
So here's how it goes down. The devourer of worlds shows up and starts lickin' his chops. His weight in Krypto's show up too. His weight in Kryptos unleash a haze of heat vision, reducing most of the terrain around them to molten slag, for miles in every direction. When the carnage dissipates, the Devourer stands there, scorched and singed, with an expression of mild irritation. "GALACTUS MUST EAT. YOU. COME FORTH. " A single Kyrpto, the runt of the litter who never gets to join any Krypto games approaches submissively. "I IMBUE YOU. DEAL WITH THESE PESTS SO THAT GALACTUS MAY SATE HIS HUNGER" Now you have one Krypto, who in addition to all the powers it already had, now sports the Power Cosmic. This one Super-Krypto proceeds to neuter the rest like Lorena Bobbit on crack, while Galactus enjoys a tasty treat. The End.
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WereWolf Writes:
Galactus is supposed to be seen as however you percept him. For all we know, Krypto could see him as about the same size as Supes. This would probably effect his weight in someway. And plus, no matter how many Krypto's there are, Galactus is the Eater of Worlds! No way on Krypton could Krypto win. 'nuff said.
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Tyler Durden Writes:
Have you even HEARD what I said?KRYPTO TOOK OUT MONGUL!WITH A SINGLE BITE! Besides,this is the typical good guy(s)VS bad guy match,and the good guys have to win. Unless Galactus finds some kryptonite...
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M.O.B.(-Man Of Battle-) Writes:
This is so stupid! Galatus is the destroyer of worlds! Now that title speaks for itself. And Krypto, the super dog is low! Vote: Galatus
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vladimer811 Writes:
this one all depends on which G man will show up. is the the buckethead who first showed up to earth and allowed people to defeat him, or is it the frankin richards G man who just believes he should eat planets (and therefor does). or is it the G man who was turned into a sun. and i don't care how many dogs you toss at him,, the star will still win. hey I bet what will happen is this.. krypto (the origional not all of these clones) after being neglected for so many years (and forced to wear a cape) will accpet an offer to become the next herreld of glactus! he will then hang out with terriax, nova, norran radd, and firelord. Kripto can go fetch firelord's staff, surf with Noran radd, slobber over nova, urinate on terriax. ....
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Tyler Durden Writes:
In my country(Argentina),our local newspaper has"The Ultimate Comic Collection",compiling titles from such luminaries as Flash Gordon,Batman,Haggar The Horrible and Rip Kirby. In the Superman book,they have a comic book when Superman,Lois Lane and Krypto are strolling around in the park.Then Mongul burst in and starts wreaking havoc.AND KRYPTO RIPS HIS FUCKING YUGULAR WITH HIS BARE TEETH! Now imagine what a million of these pouches could do.Galactus is screwed.
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The Manchurian Candidate Writes:
Bunch O' Kryptos win with ease, Serge. Galactus may act like he's uber powerful, but how tough is that dress wearing sissy going to actually be when he has 18.2 tons of Kryptos ready to bite him? Galactus will wet himself and run away, like any sensible person would.
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Tyler Durden Writes:
In my ponion,they are Both Mangled and killed by the Kryptonian Soccer Hooligans!
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Tron Writes:
I gotta say the dog's would win. It's like those little army ants from the amazon rain forest that can eat anything in their path.....even humans. A single Krypto it no match for the Great herald, but thousands of them would just overwhelm him. It's like an elephant being attacked by a bunch of piranha's with frick'in lazer beams on their heads. Plus i like to think just imagine a bunch of krypto's flying into Galactus's mouth and doing MASSIVE damage to his internal organs.
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Rabid CBUB and WWWF fan Writes:
this is very similar to an early WWWF match. A Rottweiler vs. the Rottweiler's weight in Chiuawas. Even though the rottweiler won at WWWF they wern't super dogs. the dogs win. 'nuff said.
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Z-man Writes:
I kinda think one Krypto should be able to take on Galactus, 4 would have a good chance of winning, and now you've got Lord knows how many?
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Metaphysician Writes:
Kryptonian Whatevers are overrated. Galactus has dog for dinner.
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Eagle299 Writes:
Galactus mainly just has a bunch of gnats to swat here. Or eat. There is nothing the Kryptos can do to him, ever.
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The (no longer) Unpublished Soldier Writes:
I voted for the big guy for one reason: In the grudge-match version of this, (equation: A vs. A's weight in B's) the A won. Join the rottweiler, man.
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Peter Writes:
Okay, so Galactus is a force of nature who eats planets and is a force essential to the survival of the space/time continuum (which is a hair's breadth away from destruction on any normal day anyway). But go with me on this one -- picture that annoying little Scottish terrier your grandparents own you has an unhealthy fascination for humping your leg. Now imagine that this dog can fly, hit lightspeed without too much effort, has heat-vision that can reignite stars and frost-breath that can cause an instant ice-age, has a bite that could shatter *continents*, and is totally and utterly invulnerable and unstoppable. Now imagine that you're up against fifteen billion of these little dogs. In short, I think I've proved my point here -- Galactus runs screaming from the solar system and is never heard from again.
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Justy Writes:
Galactus goes down hard. I mean its one thing to battle elders of the universe, planetary defenders, legions of do-gooders, but his opponent is some serious poundage in zoological super freaks. They are going to look at Fatboy and see a giant tenderloin. Have you ever dealt with an overactive canine? "Oh look at the cute puppy!", as all 250 pounds of jumps on you his paw always lands in your groin. They are evil, evil creatures. They slobber and drool and they always smell bad. Now we are talking Bumpass hounds on crack. Remember at the end of A Christmas Story when the dogs stole the turkey. That turkey is going to be the poor bastard who just happens to be the herald of the month. Run Galactus! Run! And let fly the mutts of war!
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T-1000 Writes:
Oh dear, I am most afraid to say that this fight sounds frighteningly like something grudge match might try. I keep waiting for the punch ling here or something along the lines of: "Just kidding folks, you can put your guns down." Seriously, Galactus arrives in orbit over Earth. The super dogs all go flying out to meet Galactus but find themselves unable to leave Earth's atmosphere. You see, after enough defeats and humiliations at the hands of heroes from Earth, Galactus has had enough. He has created a barrier which prevent anything from leaving the planet. He then proceeds to blow up the whole stinkin planet because this is a CBUB fight, and here... they take no prisoners. Galactus then goes on to find a nice intergalactic drive through and get himself a BIG Belly Burger (TM)
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Fireplug Writes:
Mutual knockout. Galactus gets most his power from machines that do the digesting etc. Mr. G ain't quite that personally powerful when taken by surprise. So some of the Kryptos beat the confining barrier by going light speed or fly up the big planet digesting nozzles -- and basically rip the machine to shreds. But Mr. G ain't completely powerless or stupid. He creates Kryptonite that slays most the Kyptos whose limp lightspeed body masses each pelt Galactus with multiple gigatons of kinetic force (bodies in motion continue in motion even if they are dead). In the end Galactus runs away to recover and feed on another planet. Besides the prenaturally intellignet Krypto knows that truly destroying Galactus would be a bad thing.
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THE BATTLE
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Callisto: AllllRighty Then! All eyes, now, on Superman's Fortress of Solitude(TM) where his mighty pet Krypto the Superdog is preparing to stop Galactus from Eating the World.
Harley Quinn: Callisto, I'm here now with the Amazing Super Pets(TM) who are Krypto's loyal Super Pet(TM) Teammates...
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Krypto's Friends say...
The Super Pets agree Krypto will win! (All of us except Streaky, that is. But he's kind'a a poser anyways, and his powers come and
go, but we just keep him around because he will do beer runs when his powers give out. Anyways, those Super Pets that
Matter say hell ya! Go wild pack of Krypto's!)
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Callisto: And I'm LIVE in the Studio with Krypto's evil alter-ego, Bizzaro Krypto...
Krypto's Mortal Enemy says...
"Raaaagh! Me am Bizarro Krypto! Me make mess on carpet! Me eat own feces! Me hump all legs! Woof woof!
Me am barking loud all night! Me am apeshit crazy! Krypto not win, no!"
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Harley Quinn: OK! Well, as Galactus begins powering up his amazing World Eating Preperation Equipment of Doom(TM) ...
Callisto: ...We switch over to Krypto at the Fortress of Solitude. Krypto knows he is no match all by himself against the Eater of Worlds so he has activated the incredible Super Deathtrap Equalizer Ray(TM) (batteries not included, produced exclusively by Jor El Enterprises Ltd., May cause nausea, flatulence - keep out of reach of children). Krypto has used the amazing power of this device to clone himself. Duplicating hemself many times over!
Harley Quinn: Wow! That's a grip of super puppies there, Callisto. Swarms of the lovable super-powered white mutts take flight from the Fortress of Solitude... flying at light speed for Arizona.
Callisto: They'll be arriving there at your position by Galactus at any moment! Does Galactus look worried going into this battle, Harlene?
Harley Quinn: Not at all, Cally. Not at all. Galactus is all about the poker face down here. You'd think that the only thing on his mind was getting fed.
Callisto: ... AND Here they come!
Harley Quinn: HOLY CRIPES! Incomming! Tora! Tora! Tora! It's like a scene from Pearl Harbor down here...
Callisto: Flying in from all directions, all the Kryptos in unison, fire the powerful Super Heat Vision(TM) at the mighty Galactus!
Harley Quinn: OH, That's Gotta Hurt! Galactus is changing color to a bright red under the sudden Onslaught of the Heat Vision!
Callisto: Galactus seems to suddenly notice he is surrounded by heat spewing angry floating puppy dogs...
Harley Quinn: ... Galactus moves his hand in a wave...
Callisto: ... Blammo! The many Kryptos are blown away like insects as Galactus uses the Power Cosmic(TM) to shoo them away!
Harley Quinn: Yes, and it's back to setting up his Pleanet Devouring Equipment in a Krypto-Free world.
Callisto: Oh! But what is this? The Krypto Army is regrouping... They seem to be considering what strategy to use next.
Harley Quinn: Krypto is gonna need a good plan to get past the sheer power of Galactus, Callisto. I doubt they'll get a second shot at these ploys.
Callisto: And in a group, the dogs land on the earth... and...
Harley Quinn: And these Super Dogs are all digging! Yes, they're tunnelling at warp speed!
Callisto: Straight down into the earth they go! And now, turning at an angle... Yes, it looks to me like...
Harley Quinn: They're gonna come up straight under Galactus!
Callisto: WHOA! A massive tunnel straight down for what seems an eternity suddenly yawns underneath Galactus!
Harley Quinn: ... and ...
Callisto: ... and ...
Harley Quinn: Right, and Galactus floats serenely over the hole. Never even noticing it's there.
Callisto: You know, I never realized that Galactus just kind of hovers in place. That's interesting isn't it?
Harley Quinn: Right, well the legion of super puppies here look a little miffed their great plan didn't work.
Callisto: Um... Are they growling in unison?
Harley Quinn: um... yeah, they are.
Callisto: I see.
Harley Quinn: CRIPES!
Callisto: As one the Super Dog Army launches a biting, scratching mad-dog assault on the peckish purple plunderer of planets!
Harley Quinn: Does that just come naturally or do you stay up nights writing that stuff?
Callisto: It's a gift.
Harley Quinn: Wow! It's a blitz of white puppy dogs with colorful capes! What will Galactus do? How can he survive this incredible calamaty of canine collusion?!
Callisto: Hey, that was pretty good.
Harley Quinn: Thanks!
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THE FINAL VOTE
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'Nuff Said!
FINAL VOTE:
Galactus: 615
Krypto: 426
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THE WRAP UP
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Callisto: Hey, wait a second! Where did all the Krypto's go?
Harley Quinn: Um... looks to me like they're raining from the sky and littering the ground down here for miles around. It's snowing knocked-Out Kryptos here in the desert.
Callisto: Oh. So, you get the feeling we should be getting off this planet pretty soon?
Harley Quinn: Yeah, I'm thinking so, for sure.
[The Comic Book Universe Battles]
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Disclaimer:
"Callisto" is the property of Renaissance Pictures, MCA TV.
"Harley Quinn" is the property of DC comics.
Batgirl (TM) is the property (c) of ...
Mary Marvel (TM) is the property (c) of ...
This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.
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