The CBUB Character Database

ISSUE #39

Voltron vs. Power Ranger's Zord

ISSUE #85

Superman vs. Thor

ISSUE #171

Batman vs. Dr. Doom

ISSUE #138

Wonder Woman vs. She-Hulk

ISSUE #65

Ken & Ryu vs. Scorpion & Sub-Zero

ISSUE #170

Jason Voorhees vs. Ash Williams

ISSUE #30

Amityville House vs. Overlook Hotel

ISSUE #33

Mach 5 vs. Batmobile

ISSUE #41

Smurfs vs. Snorks

ISSUE #149

Dr. Doom vs. Magneto

ISSUE #157

Iceman vs. The Human Torch

ISSUE #90

Supergirl vs. A-ko vs. Ryoko

ISSUE #51

Lex Luthor vs. Dr. Doom

ISSUE #49

Bugs Bunny vs. Mickey Mouse

ISSUE #80

Scooby Doo Gang vs. Hellraiser

ISSUE #154

Xena vs. Buffy

ISSUE #128

Martial Mayhem - Round Two!

ISSUE #158

Bond Girl Blowout

ISSUE #92

Leisure Suit Larry vs. Austin Powers

ISSUE #34

Justice League vs. X-Men

ISSUE #61

Robotech Defense Force vs. The Decepticons

ISSUE #19

Sailor Moon vs. Ranma 1/2

ISSUE #117

Kraven vs. Pokemon Island

ISSUE #103

Cthulhu vs. Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate

ISSUE #152

Yogi & Boo-Boo vs. Chip 'n' Dale

ISSUE #73

Men in Black vs. Marvin the Martian

ISSUE #13

Wolverine vs. Predator

ISSUE #115

Robin v. Robin v. Robin v. Robin

ISSUE #161

G.I. Joe vs. S.H.I.E.L.D

ISSUE #64

Borg Cube vs. Death Star

ISSUE #106

Nightwing vs. Daredevil

ISSUE #47

Mario vs. Sonic

ISSUE #168

Shazam vs. Black Bolt

ISSUE #126

Q vs. Mr. Mxyzptkl

ISSUE #132

The Punisher vs. France

ISSUE #175

Luke Skywalker vs. Paul Atredis

ISSUE #16

Keebler Elves vs. Krispy Elves

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!

ISSUE #11

The Borg vs. Aliens

ISSUE #2

Cheetarah vs. Harley Quinn

Crouching Spider, Hidden Logan

[ Wolvie ] [ Spidey ]

Wolverine vs. Spider Man

THE SCENARIO

 

This Edition of CBUB all eyes center ring for a match-up you're not likely to forget...

Wolverine: That frightening, furious X-Man with the claws that go pop. The berzerk, bare-knuckle brawler who beats the odds and the bad guys at almost every turn. Snikt, bub.

Spider Man: Spiderman. Does whatever a spider can. Spins a web - any size. Catches thieves, just like flies. You know the story. Thwiiip! Here comes the Spider Man.

These two battle it out this edition out on the hot sand of the legandary Arena of Khazan. No deathtraps, no distractions and no kidding. It's standing room only at the Arena of Khazan for this match-up. But you can catch all the action LIVE right here. Stay tuned for the broadcast from the Sports Box...

Join us now in a battle we had to call...

Crouching Spider, Hidden Logan

THE SPORTS BOX

Callisto:   Hello and Welcome to the one hundred and fourty second CBUB broadcast, coming to you LIVE from the beautiful Arena of Khazan!

Quinn:   Da' magnificient Arena of Khazan, convieniently located at the nexus of all realities! Today's match-up is so hot people were sleepin' outside for three days just to get tickets!

Callisto:   This Edition in the ring: Spider Man and Wolverine. Yes, this event is so big we will be going straight to the action! We will bypass the usual banter and I won't even torture Clown Girl, here.

Quinn:   Yeah, great. Thanks a lot.

Callisto:   Am I not merciful?

Quinn:   Not really. Oke, let's get down onna field, now, and get a live report from our special Sideline Commentator, Captain James T. Kirk! Let's give it up for the man in the Tupee!

James T. Kirk:   Strange... I... seem to... have been transported to some kind of... Arena. Wait, here come some life forms. They... seem to be... humanoids... Dressed... in pajamas. I wonder if they're friendly. No... No... the little one has some sort of clawed... weapon... on his hands. They appear hostile. Am I expected to fight? I know! If... I... can... just... Find natural resoures to make a weapon...

Quinn:   Mmmm'K James, thanks a bunch!

Callisto:   Well, let's see what the viewers at home had to say about this battle.

 

YOUR OPINIONS


Cappa writes:

This fight is a non-battle. Spiderman out classes Wolverine in speed, agility, strength and intellect. The only think Wolverine has going him are his senses (which aren'r much against Spider sense), his healing factor (big whoop. Even if you survive being knocked unconcious by a man who can bench press toyotas, you still got knocked out) and his fighting skills (heh, like that's going to do any good against someone who is almost 20 times faster than him.) If Logan wins this battle, its by blind fanboyism only.


Thanos6 writes:

Spider-Man has this in the bag.

STRENGTH-- Spider-Man, as of last report, can lift 12 tons. Wolverine can lift 1 ton AT MOST (and this is highly debatable).

SPEED-- A close one, but Spidey has the edge.

AGILITY-- Spidey is one of the most agile characters in all of fiction.

WEAPONS-- Wolverine has claws that will do damage if he can connect. However, he can't, thanks to Spidey's webs which can operate from a distance. Spidey can web him to a wall, jam his claws into their slots, etc, etc.

MISC.-- Wolvie has a healing factor, but all that means is that Spidey will have to get in a few more hits than usual. Spidey, as Callisto noted, has his Spider-Sense to warn him of impending attacks. He can stick to most any surface. And he has a healing factor of his own. It isn't as fast as Wolvie's, but it's faster than most humans. Spider-Man is the clear winner.


Peter writes:

Wolverine will lose this fight on account of sheer fan-following (despite the fact that he never had a clone, nor an Aunt who miraculously kept being resurrected), but really, if you're tough enough to have the word 'bub' in your vocabulary, use it as often as Wolverine and not become the laughing stock of every superhuman in the Marvel Universe, taking down a whiny photographer who can't even keep a girlfriend alive should present no problem whatsoever.


Team Rocket writes:

Wolverine can take so much more punishment than Spiderman its sickening. While Spidey would be pounding away forever and a day just trying to hurt a guy who goes toe-to-toe with the HULK, one good solid claw-swipe from Logan and Petey finally gets to apologize to Uncle Ben in person.


MediaMan writes:

Alright. The opinion on my last fight was unfounded and flawed, but this one isn't! I swear! The thing is that with the Spider Sense, Peter's going to be difficult for Logan to peg. However, there's not a terrible lot that he can do to Wolverine. With the advanced healing factor, Wolverine should be able to take any punishment that Spiderman dishes out. On the other hand, all Petey can do is dodge. It will take a long time, but he'll get tired eventually and slip up. It all comes down to endurance.


Iron Lantern writes:

Speaking as a Claremont-era Wolverine fan of the old school, as one who holds the Fallen Samurai as holy above all other versions of the character... Wolvie's screwed. Even the True Wolverine, skilled though he may be, has no chance here. At all. Spider-Man has so many advantages here that it'll make Wolvie's head spin. Case in point:

1) I know somebody's going to point out that Logan's taken on the Hulk. Speed-healing and adamantium-laced bones are enough to *survive* a heavy hitter like that (barely), but win? There's a reason Logan never took on the Grey Hulk directly when they tangled in Madripoor, you know...

2) Spidey is at least several times faster than Logan is. That gives Peter enough time to encase Logan in webbing strong enough to hold the Thing, then punch Logan out before he can cut himself free with his claws.

3) Spidey has a far longer reach. Logan can't cut anything that's more than a few feet in front of his face. Spidey has a long-distance weapon, namely his web-shooters. So long as he's got web fluid, Pete can stay out of Wolvie's reach and strike with total impunity.

4) Wolverine is going to have a lot of trouble getting to Peter if Spidey just starts wall-crawling. As seen in WOLVERINE #10, Wolverine can scale walls fairly well, but he was barely able to keep up with a severely de-powered Jessica Drew. Spidey's faster at wall-crawling than the original Spider-Woman was, and Logan can't wall-crawl and fight at the same time.

5) Even if Logan somehow manages to survive Spidey's first attack and escape into the shadows, do you mind telling me how he's going to sneak up on Peter? We're talking about ambushing a guy with a built-in warning system here. The instant that Spidey-Sense starts tingling, Peter goes back to pounding muties bloody.

The sad thing is, no matter how much reason I use to explain how hopeless the odds are, the mutant will probably still win. Go figure.


Glocksman writes:

Wolverine vs. Spider-Man?? You've got to be kidding me! Let's compare the two.

Wolverine:
A mutant killing machine with powers of regeneration and adamantium claws. Wolverine has the RAGE� factor in spades. Trained in combat by the meanest killers around (the Canadian Armed Forces). This man fights on unerring instinct. He doesn't have to think about what he'll do next in combat, his body just does it.

Spider-Man:
A teenager bitten by a radioactive spider. Yes, he has formidable powers, but his weaknesses outweigh them in this match with the vicious Canadian killer. Spidey's weaknesses, you might ask? I'll tell you. Spider-Man carries more mental dysfunctions and hangups than Woody Allen. From his perennial ability to screw up getting laid to his hidden guilt over the death of his Uncle, this emotional baggage will cause him go down in this fight faster than Monica Lewinsky during the Bill Clinton Saga. Even his vaunted 'Spider-Sense' won't save him any more than it saved the spider I killed in the shed yesterday.

You see, Wolverine is a predator�, and predators can sense their opponent's weaknesses. It won't take Wolvie long to exploit Spider-Boy's emotional hangups and leave him a quivering wreck on the arena floor. Spidey ought to go find an opponent more his speed, such as Archie, Jughead, or Uncle Marvel


Ghost writes:

Wow! Cool fight, but Look, this is it: THEY HAVE ALREADY FOUGHT EACH OTHER!

Yep, I happen to own a very old copy of "Amazing Spiderman NR 6 1990". In this issue, Spidey and Wolvie square off in the end in an old cemetery in Berlin. I'm actually sitting with that comic in front of my right now, and Spiderman describes Wolverine as the fastest and deadliest fighter he had ever met. "He seems to be doing something to my head. He is making me slow," Spiderman said. He had to turn everything but his Spider Sense off and fight on instinct only. Finally, he managed to get Logan's head towards a tombstone and started to bash his head until it started to crumble (the tombstone, not Wolverine's head). Wolverine hardly noticed, and finally Spiderman understood that he could only win by using all of his strength to break Wolverines neck. Naturally, the blue and red whimp couldn't bear to kill him, and Logan knew that.

So, to summarise: Spiderman CAN defeat Wolverine, but only if he kills him in the process. So if Spidey hasn't suddenly changed his opinion about killing people, The Wolverines had this one in the box. It will be an even fight (it was in the comic book) but eventually Logan will win.


Borneo Jimmy writes:

Spidey is the giant killer of the Marvel Universe. I need only cite the Secret Wars, when Titania beat the She-Hulk nearly to death and opened endless cans of whoop-ass on everyone else who got in her way, only to be brought down by humble Spidey without landing a blow.

Spidey has a ranged weapon in his web shooters --- and don't tell me Wolverine can cut through it, because his arms will be pinned to his sides. Spidey has reflexes superior to Wolvie's that can react to things THAT HAVEN'T HAPPENED YET...And don't forget that he's also much stronger than Wolverine.

However, none of that will decide this match. Spidey will win because no matter how bad things get he never gets ruffled; he makes wisecracks while punching out four bad guys at once, one with each limb, while in midair...Wolvie's seething Clint Eastwood act may endear him to picked-on adolescents, but when Spidey calls him "Ferret Face" (geddit? Wolverine? Ferret? Never mind) it's gonna steam him up and make him leave an opening. Whammo.


Jaegermeister writes:

Wow, this is gonna be a close one. Spidey vs Logan. 2 of the most beloved characters from Marvel. Lets take a look...

Spidey: Fast, strong, fast, agile, fast, intelligent, fast, has super natural danger sense, and um, oh yeah, FAST. Not saying he moves faster than light or blink of an eye, but his reflex speed and agility make him one of the best movers and shakers in Marvel. While not an uber-character in any regard, Spidey has faced some nasty s.o.b.'s and came out ok.

Logan: Quick, strong, agile, has a vicious animalistic combat rage, healing factor, enhanced senses, and an adamantium skeleton and claws. Logan has seen it all, done it all, kicked it all, and always has never backed down from anything or anyone.

I can see the fight being a long, drawn out, nasty batle, but I have to give it to Spidey. While he doesn't have the offensive training and capability like that of Logan, he can do more than our beloved Claw'd Canuck. Spidey rarely ever uses his full strength in combat, and while many think he pulls his punches, I believe it's just never occured to him to use his full super-spider strength on anyone. But when he does let loose, watch out. Spidey's strength can't damage adamantium in the least, but his blows are nothing to be ignored. Spidey's speed is his major advantage. He'll be bouncing about all over Logan and nailing him with the webbing and while Logan clwas through the chemical goo like butter, that fraction of a second will give our arachknight a chance to lay in a solid hit.


SonicHunter writes:

Spidey, by a mile. While wolverine may have the edge with his healing factor and extensive knowledge of martial arts, but Spidey has the fight in style. Ol Petey never trained in martial arts. His spider reflexes, proportional spider strength, smarts (which allowed him to improvise a style of his own over the years) and most importantly his spider sense are more than a match for wolverine's mutant powers and abilities.


DamieN Brimstone writes:

Logan, as fans know, has spent years pining for a beautiful red-head. Spider-Man bangs a beautiful red-head every night. Ergo, Wolverine is going into this fight with an underlying motivation that will only enhance his famed Berzerker Fury and Mad Ninja Skills. Logan will mutilate, decimate, and eradicate the webbed one. And later, after she gets over her grief, Mary Jane will come to understand why they call him "the best there is..."


Acecool writes:

Wolverine is tough, probably could take a few blows from spiderman, but really all spiderman has to do is hit wolverine with his webs. Those things hit with enough force to knock wolverine into a wall and wrap him up so tight that he wouldn't be able to move.

However even if for some reason wolverine gets around the webs, one hay maker from spiderman, and wolverine is down.

Spiderman with out breathing hard.


Tracer writes:

Tough choice, jadies and lentilmen, but I'm going to go with ol' Spidey here. Let's go to the scoreboard -

Animal Inspiration:
Wolverine: A member of Mustelidae. Yes, that's right, the weasel family. And here's a helpful quote from Britannica: "The animal has anal glands that secrete an unpleasant-smelling fluid." Right.
Spiderman: Now here's an animal that's frightening as all get out. Thousands can live in a square yard of nothing. They can create webs stronger than steel of the same size. Poison filled fangs. They are only about 2 inches wide, including legs, but they can put down a 250-pound human either by venom or fear, or both. Everyone's heard of arachnophobia, but who's heard of Gulo gulophobia?
ADVANTAGE: Spiderman

Signature Sound Effect:
Wolverine: *snikt, snikt!*
Spiderman:*Thwip!*
ADVANTAGE: Wolvervine (you hear *thwip!*, you think "What was that, a can of soda opening?" You hear *snikt, snikt!*, and your ass is grass)

Romantic Leads:
Wolverine: Mariko Yashida
Spiderman: Mary Jane Parker
ADVANTAGE: Spiderman (not that I'm racist or anything, I'm just partial to Mary Jane (AAOOOOGAAAH!!)

In-fight Banter:
Wolverine: one phrase: "...bub"
Spiderman: Almost single-handedly revolutionized the practice. Barely a minute goes by in a fight without Webhead spouting some witticism to his fearsome foe.
ADVANTAGE: Spiderman

So, with this 3 to 1 upset, your friendly neighborhood Spiderman takes the prize. 'Nuff said.


The Animator writes:

Hey! The CBUB is back! (And from the results of the inargural match, I'd say the Braveheart Jihad (there is no jihad) is back as well.) And I though summer would be borring...

I have to give this match to Spiderman. There are many reasons for this, first and foremost, because Spiderman is the most believable (and thus, Kickass) hero ever created. But there's another big reason Spiderman needs to win: Wolverine has too many blasted fanboys! The guy doesn't know how to shave, smells funny, and can't talk straight, yet he still has more fanboys than anyone else in the Marvle U. They'd even have us believe that Wolverine--with his oh-so-precious healing factor--could take on Superman! It makes me embarrassed to be a Marvelite...


Gamemaster writes:

Sorry Wolvie lovers! Spidey takes this fight. He's much quicker, more agile, and a heckuva lot stronger. Wolverine's adamantium skeleton doesn't protect his kidneys, stomach, groin, or throat. Not to mention Spidey is more than strong enough to give him a brain bruise (concussion) even through his metal skull. Nor would the skeleton protect the ligaments and tendons in his joints which Spidey could easily snap. The only chance Wolverine has would be to go all-out on the offensive and try for a quick kill. That's unlikely to happen cause Spidey can also attack from a much greater distance than Logan can. Wolverine is going DOWN!!!


Angel P writes:

Spiderman *should* win this fight. It may not be easy, but here are a few reasons why I think he should be the victor here.

1. Wolverine may have super strength, but it is on a *very* low level. He may even have enough strength to break free of Spiderman's webbing. Either way though, Spiderman's super strength waaaaaay outclasses Wolverine's.

2. Wolverine may be fast, but he's not as fast as Spiderman.

3. Wolverine may have a healing factor, but Spiderman possesses invulnerability to a degree. I know for a *fact* that I'd rather have invulnerability, even if it *is* limited, than a healing factor. Why, you ask? It's simple. With a healing factor, one can still feel pain, unlike with invulnerability.

4. Spiderman has the aerial advantage due to his webbing, his ability to stick to surfaces, and his agility.

All in all, Spiderman should win this fight. However, as I stated before, it may not be easy. He *will* have to watch out for Wolverine's claws. One well-placed cut can kill him *regardless* of whether or not he possesses some bit of invulnerability.

After all of the points which I have made, allow me to present an example.

Recently, Wolverine and Beast fought. Beast outright humiliated Wolverine. Granted, Logan was holding back at first, but soon he went into his famous "berserker rage" (TM) and even then, Hank defeated him.

At the most, Logan was only able to give Hank a flesh wound.

Now, Beast is much stronger, more agile, and nearly, if not just as, fast as Wolverine. Yet, he was able to humiliate Logan. Now, take those same abilities, increase them, and add webbing, sticking to surfaces, and a spider sense.

What do *you* think is going to happen?

There may have been several points which were needed to be made about this battle, but there is only reason that makes it so important.

That reason is...

Although I have been a member of the CBUB..."family"...Wolverine v. Spiderman is the first battle which I have ever sent in a comment about.

*HOORAY!*

To quote people you all know...

'NUFF SAID!!!!!!!


Will writes:

Just for once, a simple comparative assessment will actually tell us who will win.

(Actually, I just felt like doing one. Sue me)

COMBAT SKILLS

Wolverine: Spent about twenty years studying martial arts, fought in both World Wars, has been kicking ass for over a century and Marvel still says Captain America (Or: The overmuscled idiot with his initial on his forehead) is a better fighter than him (because hey, Steroids are better than training, kids).

Spider-Man: No known training, despite which he's beaten the ever-loving crap out of pretty much every supervillain on the planet.

NAME FACTOR

Wolverine: A giant weasel. Also called a Glutton.

Spider-Man: A Man. Crossed with a hairy, poisonous, eight-legged bug thing (shudder).

SEX LIFE

Wolverine: Not really Widowed. Almost Widowed (She died before the wedding). Currently in a love triangle with a hot redhaired ex-model. There is no way he is going to get some from her.

Spider-Man: Girlfriend died. Currently married to a hot redhaired ex-model. Been getting plenty for years.

ALIAS

Logan: A kind of berry.

Peter: The Rock. A good, strong, biblical name.

SIDEKICKS

Wolverine: Jubilee, Underachieving X-Man of the 1990s and olympic-level gymnast. Formerly, Shadowcat, Overachieving X-Man of the 1980s and trained Ninja.

Spider-Man: Black Cat. Cheap Catwoman knock-off who used to work for Kingpin.

PAST RECORDS

Wolverine: Got in lots of fights. Keeps on getting almost killed. Has killed Magneto, the man who took on the Avengers single-handed. Can't kill Sabertooth, a man who was once beaten by Iron Fist, the mercenary wimp.

Spider-Man: Make a list of every major character in the Marvel Universe. Now, cross off every character who hasn't been slapped around by Spider-Man.

It's probably still longer than a list of every single person Wolverine's managed to piss off in his life.

No question. The Spider is the Man (Insert 'Shaft' Theme Tune)


Stormedtrooper writes:

O.k. lets get a few things straight shall we? Spider-man has no chance in the 9 hells of winning this fight, and here are just a few of the many reasons why.

1. Wolverine is cool, Spider-man is not. I mean common and think about it. Wolverine is just an X-Man and I only know his first name: Logan, and he was once known as Weapon X. Where as Spidey is a wussie repoter that my five year old sister could beat up, and he doesn't have as much mystery surrounding him.

2. Spidey's got the spider sense, sure but Wolverine has enhanced senses. So, Spidey really doesn't have much of an advantage there.

3. Wolverine's claws and bones are made of adamantium steel which is Damn near indestructabele, Spidey's bones are just that bones.

4. Wolverine is far, far more devious than Spidey could ever hope to be.

5. Wolverine has been portrayed in a movie, where as Spidey has not.

6. So Spidey has the web, who gives a shit, does anyone really think that that gooey web crap will stop Wolverine? Please, Wolvie would just laugh and break it. Even if by some major miricle it did stop Wolvie, the web is bio-degradable and only lasts for about half an hour. We know this from the cartoon show.

7. Spidey can stick to shear walls, Wolvie can climb shear walls, nuff said.

8. Everyone always forgets that Wolverine also has the healing factor, it doesn't really matter how hard or how many times Spidey hits him, he'll just laugh and keep coming. Spidey doesn't have a healing factor one good hit from those claws and the only color on Spidey's suit wil be blood red.

So, I've come to the conclusion that while it would take a little while Wolvie would eventually mop the floor with Spider-wuss


JSpektr writes:

Spider-man can sleepwalk through this fight. He's 6 times faster than Wolverine and knows what Logan is going to do before he does. That alone would win the fight. Add in the fact that he can benchpress a couple of elephants, and the overmatch is ridiculous. What does Wolverine bring to the table? Claws and a bad attitude. Oh, and an unbreakable skeleton... but not an unbreakable set of internal organs, muscles, eyes, brain, or anything else that would be reduced to jelly once Spidey let loose. As he said in Secret Wars #3, "Those pigstickers may scare the bar room bullies, but to me you're a joke!"


Darth_Maxx writes:

Now, I'll be the first one to say that Spider Man is cool, but look at the way the odds are stacked here, people! Spiderman has the agility edge, yeah, but Logan's claws can cut straight through any panzy spiderwebbing, and if Spidey tries to come in to actually put Logan out of business with a punch... *SNIKT*!

Say it with me now! C'mon!

*SNIKT* *SNIKT* *SNIKT* *SNIKT*

Spiderman gets in a punch, Logan is down for all of half a second. Wolvie gets about zero damage from a Hulk punch, and Hulk is strongest one there is!

But seriously, folks, Logan is the beast of the wild. The only guy badass enough to beat him would be our friend, Richard B. Riddick.

But.... Spiderman has a theme song! AAAH! Mind... busting... must... decide........


Raffles writes:

Good 'ol spidey takes this one. Sure, Wolverine has those claws and the nigh

indestructible skeleton unless he's lost it for this fight, but Spidey's taken

down bigger. We're talking about punches delivered by someone who can bench press

close to 10 tons! Talk about ruptured organs, and stunned brains - all the

indestructible skull in the world can't help his brain sloshing around on the inside.

Plus, in order to lay a claw on Spiderman, Wolverine has to be able to touch a guy who

can dodge bullets AFTER they have been fired and can sense them BEFOREHAND.

Heck, Spidey beat up Firelord, in a toe to toe grudge fight. One of the heralds of

Galactacus - a second class one, but in the same league as the silver surfer.

Plus, as a last ditch, he can play that really, really bad music and whip out the

spidersignal to blind Wolverine...

Raffles


Some guy writes:

I voted for Spider-Man, ultimately, for two reasons: spider-sense and spider-agility. Spidey's reflexes and agility are such that he has, on numerous occassions in the past, dodged bullets and even energy blasts (don't think about the speed-of-light factor and you'll be just fine). All of this was made possible by the fact that he has this nifty thing that Stan Lee called a spider-sense. It warns him in just enough time for his reflexes to allow him to avoid virtually any physical attack directed at him. This has, over the years, made Spidey my favorite character of all time (at least when the Silver Surfer isn't around) What does all of this mean for Wolvie?

Well, I too was a rabid Wolvie fanboy back in fourth grade (that was somewhere around '83 or so I suppose). Who wouldn't be at that age? He had those wonderful claws (which many of my friends and I still thought were part of the costume until that wonderful issue of Kitty Pryde and Wolverine where he's on the phone in a robe and he pops the claws from his hand...Awesome!!!), the healing factor that wouldn't quit, he was mysterious, and dangerous, and tough (and he growled like an animal on occassion, how many of us here can truly say that we haven't done that a time or two, hmmm?). He was the Clint Eastwood, the Charles Bronson, the Lee Van Cleef of comics. No one could touch him. But then something happened. EVERYONE loved my hero. Whenever we would talk about comics, all of my friends would talk only about Wolverine (except for Justin and I). The end result would be an argument over who was the better Wolverine and such, but that's not the point. The point is that he got boring. He wasn't fun anymore and so, I started to ... resent him. The classic fight between him and Spidey in that now-famous one-shot turned that resentment into out-and-out hatred.

But don't let that remark fool you. I am not biased. I have over the years come to love Wolvie again (especially since Hugh Jackman did us all a favor and took the job for the movie version, thus solidifying his standing as the coolest action hero icon of the 21st century). No, it is not favoritism that has cast my vote in Spidey's favor. It's the fact that he can absolutely, unecquivocably (I hope that's a word) beat Wolverine. Why? Because I say so. So there. Thank you for reading my post. If you came here looking for any kind of pseudo-scientific explanation as to why Spidey should win, then I say to you, "Ooops, sorry, I forgot about that part." Thank you. Now let's go see the fight...


The Bunyip writes:

Do not underestimate the Sexual Frustration factor. Wolverine is constantly surrounded by gorgeous women in Skin-tight spandex, but seldom seems to be, ahem, benefitting from it. Spidey married a supermodel and has a kid (with her own comic book). Wolvie's going to snap when he gets a good solid look at Mary Jane, and the *snikt* sound we hear won't be just his claws. Sorry, Spidey - you've become too soft.


Moonrazor writes:

This was an extremely difficult match to judge, and I've been waiting for a rematch between the two ever since that Spider-Man Vs. Wolverine comic that came out in the 80s.

It's a tough call - Wolverine is a good fighter, with an adamantium skeleton and healing factor that allows him to withstand virtually any punishment. On the other hand, Spider-Man has superhuman agility, strength and endurance, not to mention his webbing, which is extraordinarily strong and versatile.

However, I will give the match to Spider-Man, for a variety of reasons. The first is Spider-Man's super strength. All he needs to do is hit Logan in the head hard enough to stun him, and if it's a match to the death, he can shove his fist into Wolverine's stomach (no bones there, bub) and pull out whatever organs he feels like. Not very pretty, but there are some limits to Wolverine's healing factor. If it's not a fight to the death, he can web his opponent's wrists together after stunning him and then proceed to the rest of him up at his leisure.

The second reason I have to give this fight to Spider-Man is the experience these guys have. Both have been in it for a while, but Wolverine is used to having teammates to back him up. Peter Parker, on the other hand, has been a solo for virtually all his career. Though Logan is good on his own, Peter is used to it, and won't be looking for a telepath or guy who throws explosive cards to back him up if need be.

There are those out there who will say that Logan is a killing machine, and has been fighting a lot longer than Spider-Man. I disagree. Parker has been doing this for a looong time, and he's not adverse to going slightly beserk on his own.

Both men have courage, but Peter's fought tougher foes on his own. I don't recall Wolverine ever trying to stop the Juggernaut by himself, or going up against a Herald of Galactus and beating on him, like Spider-Man did against Firelord.

The final reason why I think Peter should win is personality. Let's face it, he's a lot more interesting than Wolverine. Wolverine's personality typically runs the gamut from rude, abrasive, sullen, angry, on the edge and mean and back again. There's only so much of that "loose cannon" stuff a person can believe - I don't think I've ever seen him laugh or smile in a way that wasn't vicious.

Spider-Man, on the other hand, cracks jokes, gets upset, laughs, cries and in general acts human. In fact, that was the whole point of Kraven's Last Hunt - Peter Parker would act like a hero, even if he didn't have superpowers.

May the best man win, and I think the fight should go to Spider-Man.


Nine writes:

I haven't visited this site in over a year, since there seems to have been a hiatus. Anyways, it gladdens my heart to see this site's resurrection. Having said that, let me get to the commentary...

Wolverine has adamantium claws. Good for him. Can they cut through stickly, resilient webbing? Guess again. His only hope is if he's smoking one of his cigars that Marvel seems to love putting in his hand (my 'spider sense' detects a pay-off from Garcia Vega somewhere).

Look, Spiderman for some reason has been Marvel's meal ticket for four decades. Wolverine is a tough cookie, but his main talent is that he's... well, hairy. And gruff.

Now when the Spiderman movie comes out, I'll probably sing a different tune--but only cause of the costume factor. Wolverine was excused from wearing yellow spandex, while the upcoming Spiderman costume looks incredibly cheesy.

If this fight were based on the movie versions, I'd give it to Hugh Jackman hands down.


The Ultimate Authority writes:

Truly a battle of well matched warriors. Lemme gaive a brief shake down of the fighters.

Spiderman-

Strength- Though I really don't know I believe that Spider-man has the edge just on the bases that he has done more heavy lifting to make me believe so. (I've never seen Wolverine flip over a car)

Speed- While this could go ethier way, I think speed wivse thier even, it'll come down to reflex speed. thus Spiderman.

Agility- Wolverine ain't no slouch but, Spider-man is the definent winner here.

Weapons- While outclassed here, I dought that wolverine will be able to lay a finger, or claw, on Spidey.

Wolverine-

Strength- As above, outclassed.

Speed- As above, outclasses.

Agility- As above, outclassed.

Weapons- Wolverines high point, one good cut and the battle's over. Then again, the same lies true for bullets, and how often does Spidey get shot?

There for, I have decided that Spider-man will win. Wolverine goes down faster than a red-shirted

Engsien against Khan.


the ace of knaves writes:

Whoah ? Wolverine losing for the second time in a row ?

Wolverine , the guy with the unbreakable bones , the healing factor , the enhanced senses , the lethal fighting moves , in short who is virtually unkillable ?

Losing from spiderman , the wimp who can't decide wether to swat a fly because "with great power comes great responsibility"?

Either there's some secret "anti-logan lobby" I haven't heard about or you should rename this website "losers win battles they normally never could ".

Did you guys rig the presidential election in america as well ?


Monke12 writes:

Wolverine-411, Spiderman-496

I don't like this current vote count. Because, Wolverine has the stuff to win this match.

First off, he has been in "Arena of Khazan before, so he has the advantage of knowing the area.

Secondly, although Spidey is one of the best fighters in the Marvel Universe, Wolverine is more skilled. He has spent countless hours in the X-Men's sophisticated Danger Room, has been trained in the Martial Arts of Japan, he may have hundreds or thousands of years of experience(with his healing factor retarding his age), and in Marvel/DC battles he went up against the hugely powerful Lobo, while Spiderman only was allowed to fight the young and inexperienced Superboy.

Wolverine should be the winner of this match.


Capt. Falcon writes:

This fight is just too one sided here is why...

Strength: Spiderman. Wolvy can lift 800 lbs. Spidey can lift 10 tons!
Agility: Spiderman of course.
Speed: Once again Spiderman
Endurance: Okay I know Wolvey's got the endurance, but we'll get back to this.
Weapons: Wolverine's claws will most likely cut Spidey's webs, but Spidey could do something like web his arms to the wall so Wolvey couldn't touch the webs with his claws. Besides the things I mentioned above Spidey's danger scence will keep Wolverine from touching Spidey, And no matter how long Wolvey lasts Spidey will find some way to web him up.

I like Wolverine but he's just not in Spiderman's league. Wolverine also loses his temper too easily. He won't be able to think clearly while Spiderman stays cool and gets the job done. One last note and I'll quit. WHY WHY WHY WHY DO YOU MAKE US MARVEL FANS HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN OUR FAVORITES?? First you had the Thing against Collossus now this! At least make things fair and pick on the D.C. twerps a little bit. Good Grief.


Racer X writes:

Wolverine is known for teaming up with Jubilee. Spider Man is known for teaming up with the Black Cat. Who do you think is better?


Henry, Master of Condiments writes:

This was a hard one to call, but I have to go with the Ol' Canucklehead. I've been an avid fan of both comics since I was a boy, and after serious consideration, I realized that Logan simply has Petie Parker outmanned. He can enter into and out of his violent, bestial rages at the drop of a hat, while you have to massacre a dozen people before you get Spiderman really riled up. The X-Man's berserker fits aren't blind, either; he typically maintains his battle cunning and expertise, even when consumed with fury.

True, Parker's superhuman strength and speed are formidable, easily superior to Logan's own, but all it would take is a graze of Wolverine's claws to open up a fatal wound on his opponent. Spiderman's webbing wouldn't be of much help, either, considering that they can be slashed apart without much trouble.

As if that weren't enough, I voted for Wolverine because the jokes Spiderman tells in battle are NOT funny, and he should be put down for that alone.


Marksman writes:

Spider-Man beat down the entire lineup of X-Men on his own INCLUDING Wolverine. What makes Logan think he can take him on his lonesome? Besides, Peter just got divorced so he's bound to have the cranky meter way up for this fight. Cranky Peter holds no punches.


Briboy writes:

Okay, although most people will vote for Spidey simply because he's a classic, there are many reasons Wolvie should win.

1. Forget spider-sense. Wolvie has heightened senses that he can use to track down people for miles.

2. Spidey has...web gunk. Wolvie has claws that can cut through steel, let alone any webs Spiderman uses to trap him.

3. Let's think offense and defense. Spiderman has NO defense; Wolvie heals superhumanly fast, especially from any punches Spidey could actually land. Spiderman's offense is just punching and kicking. Wolvie has grade-A weapons coming out of his wrists. You do the math.

4. The clinching factor is the Kill Factor (my trademark). In order to win, you have to be willing to kill for it. Wolvie kills mercilessly. Spidey has a nervous breakdown if he so much as cripples a guy. Case closed.

Now then, if you want a fight that WON'T last under two minutes, may I suggest Onslaught vs. Parallax! Or maybe the old vs. new Spectre!


Spinx writes:

Wolverine WIll Cut Spider-man into fish bait! Why? Because he's Canadian, that's why! That means he's not only smarter and stronger but he can make love in a canoe! That's gota count for something.....


Crazyboots writes:

At last, you guys are back!! And starting out with two great fights. Anyways, I had to vote for Spiderman, and let me tell you why, my friends, let me tell you why. Its all about that spider sense. It gives him, like, three seconds to dodge any attack. And by the way, spiderman is about 5 - 8 times stronger then ol' Weapon X over there. Sure I like Logans attitude much better, but this aint an attitude contest, its a fight to the death, and Spidey wins that, hands down.


AngelusJC writes:

OMG you're back! All hail Callisto and Quinn! I thought blood was shed in the arena for the very last time and boom, new battles! Anyways my comments on this fight. Simple reason, Wolverine has the better movie/tv/cartoon incarnation until Spidie gets his own movie, and unlike spidie, the redhead Wolverine's hung up on can kick ass whereas Spidie's redhead is just a nickname for marijuana.


Oblivion430 writes:

Ok, first off, this is my first comment, because I just found the sight YESTERDAY. I'll be damned if I haven't missed the cream of the crop in terms of kick @$$ battles already, but at least I get to start my commentary with a doozy here.

Let me, a newbie, begin this discussion by saying that I always felt that this would be one of the most intricately played out fights of all time, especially if these two put all they had into it. Wolverine is the primordial Anti-Hero, the original comic badass good guy with a dark past who set the precedent for years to come with a million psycho murderous ripoff good guys following his leady. (Yeah, I know, many will say Batman was really the first Dark hero, but Bats always had a heart of gold and cared. Bats doesn't kill, he disarms. The Caped Crusader never made you feel bad for his enemies by tearing their bodies to shreds.) Wolvy is the reason that you have Anti-Heroes these days, kids. And nobody's done it better.... he's the best there is at what he does, and that's intimidate guys a sh*tload more powerful according to tales of the tape. How? By having the grit and putting his balls to the wall. Logan is mean, relentless, unbelievably skilled, and in possession of that accursed healing factor that's kept him in fights any regular hero would've been written off in. Wolverine is THE old school. He's the Jim Brown to all these upstart running backs, who claim to be the best because of stats. Not a chance, bub. SNIKT!!

And then you have Spider Man. Spider Man isn't Captain America, he's not perfect, he's not a new messiah by far. And he sure as hell isn't a badass like Wolverine who makes people quake in their boots. Spidey is HUMAN. He's a smart ass with a great academic background and a sense of wry humor that would either get him a standing ovation doing standup or would get his ass knocked around by some huge brick. Mercifully for him, Pete got bit by that Spider many moons ago, and can now bench 10 tons, walk on walls, all the goodies. And that Spider Sense comes in pretty handy too, like when a wacky spike haired Mutant comes blazing in with indestructible claws sticking out of his hands.

Lets put it this way. The only person DYING from this fight would be Spider Man. Wolverine can be pretty cunning when he has to, and he really only needs ONE GOOD SHOT to decapitate the Web Slinger. The problem is that I truly don't think he will get it. Spider Man is quick and damn intuitive with the Sense. He moves faster than Wolverine. And those webs would keep Wolverines Wrists locked up all afternoon as he chased him around. Spidey would keep him at bay until he could finally put the Mad Canuck on Ice, and I think he would piss Wolverine off to the point where he wouldn't be able to reason to beat Peter's intellect. Final Recap: A long Grueling battle with a whole lot of close calls for the Web Head, but that's nothing new for him. He's faced meanies before, (Cause Venom's not a psycho killer, right?) and when the days over, he'll be cool enough to have a beer with Logan when he calms down.


The Toast Rider writes:

It's good to see the CBUB back in business, for starters.

These are quite possibly two of the most experienced heroes Marvel can field. Don't hand me the crap about Spidey being 'unskilled' -- he's racked up enough experience slugging it out with everyone from Paste Pot Pete to Doctor Doom to qualify as trained.

It's not an easy fight to quantify. Wolverine has a definite defensive edge -- his bones are laced with adamantium and if Spider-Man punches him the wrong way, he'll break his hand. And Wolverine is -fast-, too. Not as fast as Spidey, though. Both fighters have a tremendous amount of willpower, as well. Spidey will fight even when he's absurdly overmatched, and Wolverine, well... he doesn't know the meaning of the word anyways. They'll keep going even if they're dying on their feet. But the nod goes to Spidey this time. It's simple: Spider-Man is the most agile mortal in Marvel. Hitting him without a cluster bomb is often an exercise in futility. And while Wolverine's got claws, he has to get close up. All Spidey needs to do is back Wolverine against a wall, and then... *THWIP* web him there. Wolverine may be strong, but not quite THAT strong. Chalk another notch on the Spidey-belt...


Akuma writes:

Wolverine all the fricken way! Spidey? The name Peter Parker already sounds like a homo singing "Stop in the name of love" in a Women's right center. Throw in the tights, jumping around and party string out of his hands and you've got a grade A Bitch. Wolvie aint nobodies bitch. He'll kick yo' ass before he let dat happen! Spidey shouldn't even be fighting Wolverine!

 

THE BATTLE

 

Callisto:   Thank you Viewers at Home. And there's the signal to start! This match is underway!

Quinn:   Wolverine and Spider-Man close the distance rapidly...

Callisto:   Wolverine takes the first punch...

Quinn:   Spiderman easily dodges...

Callisto:   No Wolverine's blow was a feint!

Quinn:   Wolvie underhand claw strike... The real deal!

Callisto:   Spider Man dodges again...!

Spider Man:   Awww c'mon yellow britches... ACK!

Callisto:   YES!

Quinn:   Wolverine triple feint!

Callisto:   I never saw the real attack! Left claw leaves a bloody trail across Spider Man's chest!

Quinn:   Blood in the sand! Crowd goes wild!

Callisto:   Spider Man, off balance! Can't believe he got tagged!

Quinn:   Wolvie tries to take advantage with a leg sweep...

Callisto:   Spider Man easily leaps up... dodges... OUCH!

Quinn:   Kick's Wolverine right in the skull!

Callisto:   Spider Man dances back... he's limping.

Quinn:   Bet he broke a couple toes, smashing 'em into Wolvie's adamantium skull like that.

Callisto:   Wolverine looks hardly phased... he keeps coming.

Wolverine:   Flamin' jumpin' bean, stand still!

Quinn:   Spider Man goes for the web shooters...

Callisto:   No! Wolverine rolls under the streams...

Quinn:   Spider Man jumps high... keeps sprayin' the sticky stuff! Hits Wolverine!!

Callisto:   Sticks Wolverine to the sand! He's just lying there... easy pickins!

Quinn:   Spider Man lands beside him to deliver the coup de... WAIT!

Callisto:   The moment he lands, Wolverine reaches out... strikes like a snake! Grabs Spider Man by the ankle!

Quinn:   The sand gives him just enough play to move around in the webs.

Callisto:   Spider Man tries to snatch his ankle back... Ha! Wolverine's hand is now super-glued to Spider Man's ankle thanks to those webs!

Quinn:   The wall-crawler ain't gettin' away this time! Wolverine twists his wrist and digs his pig stickers into Spidey's leg!!

Callisto:   The crowd goes nuts as you can almost see Ma' Parker's only son crying out in pain under that mask. How delicious.

Quinn:   Instinctively, Spider Man kicks Wolverine in the head again!

Callisto:   You can almost hear the rest of Spider Man's toes snapping like twigs.

Quinn:   Spider Man, enraged, leaps onto Wolverine! Man, this is big action. The crowd can't believe it. Now, let's get back down onna field again for the Up-Close with James T. Kirk!

James T. Kirk:   The brightly colored men... Fight! Like animals. The crowd cheers them on. What... barbaric... ritual is this?

Callisto:   Yes, thank you Captain Kirk. It's a big sticky mess down there, but Spider Man has managed to pin both of Wolverine's hands down.

Quinn:   Yeah, and that's a pretty big accomplishment considerin' one a' Wolvie's hands is permanently stuck ta' Spidey's right ankle. Ya know, Spidey would be, like, the ultimate Twister(TM) player.

Callisto:   Spider Man uses his Spider Strength... that and the webs pretty much keeps Wolverine from moving an inch.

Quinn:   Ref's out onna field now. He's slappin the sand, callin' the Ten Count.

Callisto:   No, Wolverine gave it his best, but this fight is history.

Quinn:   Well, least he gave ol' web head a couple nice scratches to keep him up at night.

 

THE FINAL VOTE

 

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Spider Man: 947

Wolverine: 870

 

THE WRAP UP

 

Callisto:   And now the real battle begins: the battle to get out of the Arena parking lot.

Quinn:   Awww... C'mon. let's just get Kirk to beam us outta here.

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Disclaimer:

"Callisto" is the property of Renaissance Pictures, MCA TV.

"Harley Quinn" is the property of DC comics.

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Wolverine (TM) is the property (c) of Marvel Comics

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